17 November 2008

And the skies are not cloudy all day-ay-ay

Wow, I so need a hobby. Painting? Sculpture? Kickboxing? The freelance world is excellent, but it means I have a lot of extra time on my hands and not much to do with it, except, well, write. And when you write for a living, it kinda stops being a hobby.

Today's post is for BB, who sits far away in the United States, after abandoning me to wander the streets of Bombay all on my own. Sigh. I have nothing to doooooooooo anymore. Technically, and on paper, I have a fabulous life. I have no worries on a Monday morning, I just got my first royalty cheque, so I have quite a bit of money, I have a steady boyfriend who is lovely and sweet AND I have access to all the Babysitter's Club books, so I've been doing plenty of reading. It's just, I dunno, I feel the need to make some new friends, meet some new people, be excited a little more. Why is it so hard to make new friends these days? There was a time when it came so easily to me.

JC and I are going to be making our first trip together (if you don't count the distastorous trip to Manori, which I certainly don't.) We're going to Delhi on Saturday, and I'm over the moon with excitement. For one thing, I love, love, LOVE Delhi in the winter time. I love the idea of wearing jackets and feeling the nip in the air and smelling familiar winter smells. I'm always so homesick this time of the year. Somehow, though, when I imagine Delhi in the winter, I'm taken back to college, where I can just see the four of us pouring out of the gate, faces upturned towards winter sunshine, some of us with our sweaters taken off and tied around our waists, the weekend stretching gloriously in front of us. I know it's been close to six years since I got out of college, but that's the image that always stays with me. There used to be this place, very close to college, called Cals By The Bay, a low calorie joint which was trying (unsuccesfully) to be competition for the Big Chill, across the road. One winter morning, me and Pieces and Puja went there for breakfast, right after our nine am class and I ordered some kind of lemon grass soup. (This next bit is kinda gross, so if you're squeamish, you should skip ahead) Anyhoo, so we got back to campus, and I really had to pee, and all I had eaten was this soup and I kid you not, my pee smelled exactly like lemons. And it was so cold, steam started coming out of it. Ick. I don't know why that's the memory I chose to (over)share with you today, but it was a funny moment.

Another reason I'm really looking forward to JC coming home with me, is that I really want him to know what "my" city is like. Give him some context. Introduce him to people I have known for years and years. Show him where I went to school and make him sleep in my adolescent bedroom where the pillows still make you dream yearning adolescent dreams. Of course, I'm going to have to sleep in a separate bedroom (sigh), but I think we can manage to have minimal contact for a week or so. Plus, I'm taking him up to Agra to see the Taj. I've been there so often, I think I could do the guidebook patter on my own now.

I don't think he's tremendously excited about it--he's heard bad things about Delhi, plus a couple of weeks of knowing only me is making him a little bit nervous--but he's willing to try the city out. Which is why I'm also glad we're going now, when it's at its best. And he's also quite kicked that he gets to take along his leather jacket which he's barely worn. I'll wear my lipstick red leather jacket too, and then we can be all biker couple-y. Come Friday, and we've been dating six months. Can you believe it? I certainly can't. It either seems like we've only known each other a week or two or that we've been dating FOREVER. But six months is a nice, respectable amount of time, and a conservative amount to meet the fam. (And by 'fam' I also mean Leela and Hobo and Samit and Iggy and all the rest of my circle of friends.)

Yesterday, we went to this guy's house to watch people spinning fire. There's apparently this Facebook group called 'Poi Mumbai', and people get together every week to work on their skills. Here are a couple of links which will explain it better than I can. JC is into the fire spinning, but he prefers to do it with a staff, lighted on both ends rather than a ball. You know who else was into the whole thing? Volt, that's who. Whose house we went to the other day and where I had an epiphany. I do indeed have a type. They both liked the same music, both had crazy-ish hair, both did the fire spinning, I was quite surprised. JC is quite good at twirling around the staff (that DOES sound suggestive, no?), leaving me amazed. I'm not only terrified of fire, I'm also hugely uncoordinated. Well, still, it was quite a turn on to watch. I love my men all skillful!

After the spinning, we went next door to a restaurant called Penne for dinner (and as I'm writing this, I remember I have some left over pasta in the fridge and instead I had a fried egg with roti for lunch. Damn.) My royalty cheque just came in, so I thought we'd celebrate our anniversary a week early. We had a lovely dinner, it's nice to know you can still make conversation with someone even if you do see them all day, every day. I guess it's the sign of a healthy relationship and if we are going to be together forever, as I suspect we might, it's nice to know we can still make each other laugh.

Anyway, BB and all the rest of you, that's all the updates that I can think of, this week. Ira and I have done our Goa bookings for New Years, we're going to be there for a whole week! And our resort has a pool! And wifi! (Which I am very geekily super excited about). Plus it's my birthday soon (Sagittarius, NOT Capricorn or Cancer, sorry to the readers who attempted a guess!) and I'm planning a very fun party. It's on a Saturday this year, so I can do a full on weekend celebration. No deets till I figure out how I'm going to manage it, but I'd really, really like to have a karaoke party. Thoughts? Suggestions? I'd love your help.

6 November 2008

Make that Sir AND Lady Grumpalot

Because I have been stricken (struck, even) down in the prime of my youth (oh, who am I kidding? 27 is ollllllllldddddddddddddddddddddddd!) by some nasty bug and the fever comes and goes and it's most annoying. Especially since last night I had to go say bye to BB who was leaving for New York for a month and I felt like complete and utter SHIT. Gah. Being ill sucks.



So, to make myself (and you, loyal reader) feel a little bit better, I feel it's time to revisit Craigslist and make fun of people seeking romance over the internet. Because I'm in the mood to pick on other people. And... it might get ugly. Just so you can't say I didn't warn you.



All posts are [sic].



hi am a single lady in usa loking for a rich indian boyfriend or a man that has lot of money. Easy there, no need to pull out ALL the charm in the first sentence.



My name is Phillip. Er, I'm not familiar with foreign names and customs, so MAYBE Phillip is a girls name somewhere in the world.. NOT.



I am 5,6 i weigh 125 lbs and i have curly hair.i love to be a lil sexually naughty and have fun.i dont smoke or drink.i love to dance and go to the movies and i love to go out to restaurant.i finish school.i work at the embassy in NY to help immigrants get their visa to come to America. Isn't English as a first language a requirement to work in ANY embassy?



So if u are interested Email me ok.send em you pic and i hope i find me a bf that can help me financially. Honey, I thi nk the word you're looking for is an EMPLOYER.



Hi..i am a 33 year classy guy from Mumbai...looking for dating, friendship, romance with interesting lady folks out there...write to me for a good time...looking for serious relationships only... And that's the story they'll tell at your golden wedding anniversary, "Kids, your grandma was horny and surfing Craigslist and has a weakness for ellipses."



i am experienced yoga master from india, i am available for my sex with different kind of yogastyle for woman in mumbai, safe and secure, interested female only message me.



One has heard of Tantric sex before, but yogastyle sex? Internet, I stand confuzzled.



OH MY GOD CANNOT EVEN COPY PASTE THIS NEXT ONE HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S GRANDFATHER!! MY EYES! MY MENTAL IMAGE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!



Seeking Gujarati Lesbian for marriage of convenience - w4w - 27

I'm an Indian gay male living in the US. My parents are preasuring me to get married and would like a marriage of convenience to make them happy. We'd ideally be great friends but live our own lives.



The most amusing thing about this post is the "Gujarati Lesbian". Wow, this guy has deeper parent issues than I thought!



Ok.. here it goes..am no escort needing money...or a desperate guy seeking sex... Well its mumbai and u do find a variety of human beings in here...well am d rarest...a spoilt townie to da core... Do I KNOW this guy?



well in d first place i would state dat d young ladies of yore..i hav had my fair share of experience...so kinda bored wid em... I found the oldies or atleast by age...to be ones with knowledge and worthwile to be in a relationship... Well again am not in it for money or sex... Well i would state it as makin love...rather not sound grosse..and hey if we strike a chemistry den ofcourse it would follow suit... Well so even if ur 50 its not an issue if u can keep me interested..winkwink... Well wad r u waitin for hit me ASAP...chance of a lifetime ofcourse...u really dont find 25 yr ols askin to be dated by someone ol?? (and ladies termin it as ol...doesnt mean dat i consider so...its juz dat u guys maybe by age...but in d mind..it aint so...RITE??? This might in fact be THE most insulting sentence I have ever read.



well mails widout pics wont be even considered...and yaa am choosy so i take time...winkwink.. Au revoir Ma chere amie... And that is the extent to which those foreign language classes paid off!

I don't have the energy for anymore, even though I thought I did. It's the next day and temperatures within my body are soaring. This fully sucks. AND I have two deadlines. Grah.

1 November 2008

And on the seventh day, he created Hallowali, and it was GOOD

Hallowali at the Confessor household this year only had three people in costume. Me--as Lakshmi, complete with a string tied around my waist strung with Lakshmi Dollars, a Kama, with condoms around his neck and around his wrists, and Pan--who had fuzzy goat pajamas made and horns and a flute. Everybody else just came in regular clothes. Hmph.



There weren't that many people--twelve at the most crowded--but there was so much alcohol and so much chattering that the party went on till the wee sma's. Plus we played Taboo! (Which I know, sounds really boring and old-people-esque, but it was excellent fun with the drunkeness and the slurring and the cut throat competition in the air.)

Quite a fun week, actually. I went to the Hawaiian Shack one night with Ira and got lobbed onto by many men, whom we fended off valiantly with our light sabres. (Random Guy: What's your name? Me: My name is I Have A Boyfriend. Him: Oh. Okay. So what's your last name, then?) When we got to the bar, the DJ yelled, "Free tequila shots for everybody!" and Ira and I squealed and hung over the bar and opened our mouths as the bartender poured massive amounts of tequila into them (and yes, it spilled everywhere. The next morning I woke up and got drunk all over again with the fumes.)

And JC came home, came home to meeeeeeeee! Of course, he also came home to some nasty food poisoning bug, which I suspect is like malaria or something. What is with me and sickly firangis? I'm being all nurse like (again!) and being the occasional head stroking, Sprite fetching, laundry folding girlfriend of his dreams. Of course, I'm not being appreciated. Even as I sit here, sacrificing time and energy and resources, he is reading this over my shoulder and not only making snarky comments about my nursing capabilities but also correcting my grammar. Seriously. I should leave him alone to ROT, YOU HEAR ME? ROT!! ("You're so mean!" he says, poking my side. Sigh, men and their instablities.)

I also went and saw BB's play yesterday. Called The Shape Of Things, it was on at the NCPA and should be on again in November, and you should totally see it. Then she bought us post-play shots of many things and some champagne and by the time I got home to my (unappreciative) boyfriend, I was all wheeeeeeee and yay and bring on the drunky.

I've also been reading this site today, I love snarky websites such as this one, and I thought a nice, bitchy selection of blog reviews might be fun to peruse because I have nothing else to do. They also reviewed me because SOMEONE (I know you're out there and I will get you) submitted my site and it wasn't all oh-you're-incredible but it wasn't all oh-you-suck either. Fair enough. But sometimes, I think the thing with these review sites, especially if you have the same people on it, they, well, start looking a little generic. I can tell which blogs they like and which they won't, just by clicking on the URLs. My (completely unsolicited) advice to Ask And Ye Shall Receive? Try and match the profile of the blog you're reviewing with the reviewer. For instance, your general mom blog could be reviewed by a mom blogger, a food blog by a food blogger and so on. It would give an interesting perspective, and, it must be said, make you sound less jaded and cynical and oh-we're-so-cool-and-you're-not. (Sadly, I can't find their review of my site, but it's there somewhere.) Admittedly, this does sound a little bit like sour grapes, but eh, I'm all nursed out, I'm beyond sounding politically correct at this point. Make of my review of a blog review blog, what you will.

Back to Sir Grumpalot. Later.