There’s no place like other places

Singapore! City of shops and nightlife (and some excellent food!) I always associate it with sleep deprivation, and this time was no different. The flights to Singapore are always at such anti-social hours, that I left Delhi at midnight and reached at 5 am, which is barely enough time for a full night’s sleep, but also not short enough that you can sleep once you get there. Basically, I always have to hit the ground running (which I did with plenty of coffee.) And don’t even get me started on Air India, and their flight attendants, who look super pissed off if you ask for anything, including a glass of water. And who keep waking you up to feed you, even at two in the morning. Grrrr.

But, I stayed at the most gorgeous boutique hotel called The Club, with all white rooms and an iPod dock, which I was almost inordinately pleased with. The other speakers were Shobhaa De and Mukul Deva, and then, little ol’ me. We were all whisked off to lunch at an Indian place, where I nibbled on some stuff, the sushi craving in me escalating. But you can’t get sushi anywhere now dude, and I began to feel sad, maybe the last time I ate sushi would be the LAST TIME EVER. The things we do to our world.

After which, I got to take a nap, and we went shopping. I couldn’t be in Singapore without hitting at least one mall, and so, I made my way to one and bought some very nice white wedges. Which are so pretty, but also completely rid me of my sense of balance, which meant Saturday night, when I wore them out for the first time, I tripped and fell no less than THREE times. And this is before I had been drinking.

I did some quite fancy things though. I went to a place called Santi for dinner, a “celebrity” restaurant at a place called the Integrated Complex, which is a way of saying ‘casino’ without actually saying ‘casino’. The casino looked very cool, and there was a little balcony before you entered the restaurant where you could look down upon hundreds of people all gambling furiously. Sadly, there were strict ‘No Photography’ signs, so I couldn’t get a picture. The casino is free for tourists but charges Singaporeans 100 dollars to get in, another way of the government to be like your nanny.

Another fancy thing I did was go to the Indian High Commissioner's house for cocktails, and the India House in Singapore is absolutely stunning. All white and wood, with a central koi pond and massive art deco chandeliers. The parties I could throw in that place! I wonder if it’s too late for me to be a diplomat.

The talk itself was quite fun, of course, everyone had come to see Shobhaa De, but I think I won them over when I did a couple of passages from You Are Here, including, but not limited to, Arshi’s first time having sex. I managed to sell ten copies, which is good for a book reading where no one has heard of you before, and the books are priced much much higher than here in India. I also had a photo shoot, which involved shit loads of make up on my face, and me standing around, channeling my inner America’s Next Top Model, and trying to smize.

Friend From Bombay Who Now Lives In Singapore (FFBWNLIS) took me out for a couple of drinks. Friday, we went to a place called Chimes, a sort of gallery of little watering holes, where I drank my (MASSIVELY OVERPRICED) glass of wine and filled him in on all the gossip. Saturday, I went and picked him up after dinner (at a yummy Chinese food stall place called KEK) and we went to Clarke Quay, place of my ruin the last time I visited. This time, I was a little more boring and sedate, we leched at people as we drank (at a nice little bar called Le Noir), tried to figure out which women were ladyboys, and met some other young people, who then assisted me in my quest for the Jaegerbomb (scout! I miss you!) The Red Bull did its work and pretty soon I was all WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPARTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE but after we hopped to place three, a Latin club called Cuba Libre, I realised I had a flight to catch in like, four hours. So, thanks to stupid Air India and stupid anti social flight times, there was no chance of a repeat on my holiday fling. *sigh*

Anyway. Seeing as this trip was very tightly scheduled (my itinerary left little or no time for a “free period”) and I was mostly hanging out with much older people (the organisers, the other writers) I didn’t have a chance at the wild, let-your-hair-down weekend of last time. But Singapore continues to grow on me, people are friendly and smart, there’s always something to do, and it’s nice, isn’t it, when your job is basically to go around the globe talking about your book?

I did take more pictures, which I will be uploading on my photo blog shortly, so check that out for more amateur photography.

Travelling I always stop at exits, wondering if I’ll stay young and restless

The problem with March is that it’s springtime. And the problem with springtime is that there are so many things in the air, that it’s rare for me to wake up in the morning without a sniffly nose. To make matters worse, my cat is shedding like it’s going out of style and I have to contend with piles of cat hair EVERYWHERE, even on freshly washed clothes, so everywhere I go, I take my allergies with me. It’s not fun. I’ve also developed an Allegra addiction.

 

The exciting thing to happen to me this week is a trip to Singapore for a “literary salon”. I can’t find very much on it online, but if you read me and you’re in Singapore, I’ll be at a fancypants boutique hotel called The Club, so come and say hello. ETA: I’m speaking on Saturday, the 26th at Singapore Recreation Club, B Connaught Drive  I’ll read to you, and drink a glass of wine with you after. I remember the last time I was in Singapore, now THAT was a fun trip, and while, yes, yes, I’ve grown older (and wiser) in the interim, I can’t help but hope that things will be pretty much the same level of awesome.

 

Another exciting thing to happen to me next month is a trip to Amritsar. I made a friend while I was in Gokarna, and he will be travelling up North later this month and so, we made plans to go to the Punjab together. I’m very excited, having never been to Amritsar and all I can think is TANDOORI CHICKEN WHEEE! I’m nothing if not a propagator of stereotypes. I’ve done the Wagah border before, when I went for a colleague’s wedding in Faridkot, and it struck me as rather aggressive, but I’d like to go see it again, just so I can be sure of my impressions. The foot stamping that each side’s soldier does is a bit… odd though, and doesn’t go very far in promoting peace between the two countries, which I thought was our eventual goal.

 

This month also a whole bunch of old friends are in town, Small and BB, both of whom I love, are visiting Delhi and I look forward to happy times. Nothing like old friends. Especially now, when they seem even more dear. It gets harder to make good NEW friends when you’re older, right? At least, I’m finding that the case, everyone is either an acquaintance or a frenemy, with the exceptions being few and far between. Maybe Delhi is just a more politic-y city, in matters of friendship as well as the state.

 

As for boys? HAH. I’ve so given them up, which is just as well, because they’ve given up on me. To just go out with ONE nice man, to have a banter-filled conversation over dinner and a drink, to feel the comfortable flutter in your stomach at the end of a date well done, it seems like all these are impossible goals. Meanwhile, I stew in my celibate state (six months and counting) and dream of random encounters with sexy strangers.

 

Oh well, at least it’s almost summertime, and that’s the season when I feel the most in my element. Because of my clothes, I hate to layer, it’s annoying having to remember tights and a thermal and a jacket and a scarf each time you leave the house, now I’m just like DRESS! and CHAPPALS! and yay, out of the door I go.

 

Anyway. That’s my March, not very mad, but still, mostly eventful.

The Different Kinds Of Sex (a list for your referencing pleasure)

“How many different kinds of sex are there?” asked a friend last night at 4S, so another friend and I decided to make him a list. And here they are:

 

1) Make up sex

2) Break up sex

3) I’m bored and there’s nothing on TV sex*

4)  I’m drunk and a little bit lonely and you’re here sex

5) I forgot to get you a birthday/Valentine’s Day/Christmas present sex*

6) I’m regretting this even as I’m doing it (but it’s too late to back out now) sex

7) You talked about your ex for an hour this afternoon sex

8) I saw you checking someone else out sex*

9) I’m a little bit guilty for checking someone out sex*

10) Revenge sex

11) Pity sex

12)  I’m trying to prove something to my hot friend sex

13) We’ve been on a road trip and gotten really close sex

14) We once hooked up and I’m trying to see if there’s still a connection sex

15) I had a crush on you in high school sex

16) I had a crush on you in high school and now you’re fat and I’m hot sex

17) I’m about to break up with you only I’m not sure how to do it so I will initiate sex sex

18) I wasn’t going to have sex with you but then I saw how everyone else was looking at you so I changed my mind sex

19) You’re my friend and I just saw you in a new light sex

20) This is more about me than you sex (applies to mile high clubs and one night stands)

21) I haven’t had sex in a really long time and you make me feel less like a person who is going to have to be CELIBATE FOREVER sex

22) You’re much younger than me and so you make me feel agile sex

23) You talked about how much you like my writing and so I feel connected to you sex (only a writer’s thing, I guess.)

24) Secret sex

25) I just broke up with someone and I want to test the whole “the only way to get over someone is to get under someone else” theory sex

26) Post sexting sex

27) You’re my co-worker but you looked really hot at the office party sex

28) Significant occasion sex (birthdays, New Year’s, etc)

29) This is supposed to match an image I have in my mind sex

30) I don’t really want to sleep with you, but you’re really nice and would make an excellent partner so I’m going to try and see if it works sex

 

 

*Applies to people in relationships

Feel free to add on more in the comments!

None shall sleep

Ahhhh, what a fabulous time I’ve been having. Now I’m finally back in Delhi after a brilliant, brilliant time at the beach and my various travel escapades, and Delhi has the early springtime glow about it, even though I still have my heater on, because I’m a wuss about the cold, clearly. But the feeling of well being persists, and all is well in my world.

 

And all this activity and not a thing to blog about. This is the problem with well being, generally, it leaves you with a profound lack of drama.

 

I would’ve been getting married last week. The dates we fixed on were the 22nd to the 24th. The 22nd was the dinner plus mehendi thing, the 23rd was the wedding and the 24th, the reception. It would have been a good wedding too, but the marriage? Probably not. It’s funny the things you learn in retrospect.

 

And the other funny thing about going on a beach holiday by yourself? Sitting there, watching the waves, the occasional falling star in a sky scattered with them, I released JC out of my system for once and for all. He’s gone now, leaving only the faintest echo, which should fade away soon.

 

So, now, I am truly single. Not even the ghosts of ex-boyfriends to keep me company. I am all alone, at last, and it’s not as lonely as you think it’s going to be. At other times, it’s every bit as lonely.

 

But I’m on my own now, baby.