* that don't include the standard eat better, live better, be healthy, even though those are TOTALLY important and you should TOTALLY take better care of your health, but they're going to be broken in a couple of weeks anyway, so why bother, eh?
> I must not form irrational, overemotional attachments to electronic items, laptop, smartphone, Kindle etc and instead remind myself that the best things on earth are simple and involve nature and shit, and I can totally manage to go a couple of weeks without checking my email.*
(*okay, okay, Facebook. FINE. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?)
> I must do a complete closet purge and throw away all clothes that I haven't worn more than once (or ever) and resist the voice that says, "That would look pretty in three years if you grew taller!" Instead, live for the current sartorial moment, even if you will look back with regret at that awesome dress you gave away three months ago.
> Totally stop using the word 'totally', even if it started out in an ironic fashion, is now irrevocably part of my vocabulary and must be removed. Similarly, the 'duck face' photo pose, once used to mock other girls who used the Duck Face, now part of an alarming amount of my pictures. Must. Go. Now.
> Take success with cooking as a jumping point from which to leap into ALL domesticity. Learn how to crochet, to make homemade thingummys, and centrepieces for your table and be the kind of effortless lovely all round housewife superstar career woman etc that makes everyone look to her with awe. Do this all very modestly and graciously.
> Focus on actually writing third novel instead of opening a Word document and then spending your day daydreaming about all the wonderful reviews you're going to get.
> I must not form irrational, overemotional attachments to electronic items, laptop, smartphone, Kindle etc and instead remind myself that the best things on earth are simple and involve nature and shit, and I can totally manage to go a couple of weeks without checking my email.*
(*okay, okay, Facebook. FINE. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?)
> I must do a complete closet purge and throw away all clothes that I haven't worn more than once (or ever) and resist the voice that says, "That would look pretty in three years if you grew taller!" Instead, live for the current sartorial moment, even if you will look back with regret at that awesome dress you gave away three months ago.
> Totally stop using the word 'totally', even if it started out in an ironic fashion, is now irrevocably part of my vocabulary and must be removed. Similarly, the 'duck face' photo pose, once used to mock other girls who used the Duck Face, now part of an alarming amount of my pictures. Must. Go. Now.
> Take success with cooking as a jumping point from which to leap into ALL domesticity. Learn how to crochet, to make homemade thingummys, and centrepieces for your table and be the kind of effortless lovely all round housewife superstar career woman etc that makes everyone look to her with awe. Do this all very modestly and graciously.
> Focus on actually writing third novel instead of opening a Word document and then spending your day daydreaming about all the wonderful reviews you're going to get.
