9 October 2008

On being single once more

I picture the heart like a switchboard--the heart in my head is a big, red valentine with sharply cut corners--and this switchboard has all these landlines hanging off it, all warm and pulsating, marked with names or relationships. 'Friend From College' or 'Travel Companion'.

And the one marked 'Love' is white-hot and angry, as words whisper themselves out of the receiver and into your veins. This, then, is what they call 'bad blood'. And horrible things said to you gently, begin to become a part of your heartbeat, you start to believe with every lub-dub-I-am-a-bad-girlfriend-lub-dub and before you can stop yourself, you start assimilating all those things that took you so many years to detox from.

So, is it so wrong to pick up that hot line with its cold voice and hang up? *Click* goes your heart and your mind. The connection was bad ages ago, anyway.

(And that's all for now I'll say about me and JC. I am Cleopatra, I keep telling my friends who (bless them all) have been calling at regular intervals to check in, Queen of Denial. Instead I shall update you about the rest of my tour in nice capital letters so you can't say you have no information.

BANGALORE! FRIDAY THE 10TH! At 6.30 pm, at the Reliance Time Out Cafe on Cunningham Road. I'll read (like Speedy Gonzales), chat a little bit and will be super happy if there are lots of people and lots of questions (come on, I need some validation here!)

HYDERABAD! SATURDAY THE 11TH! 6 pm at the Odyssey Bookstore, Jubilee Hills. Similar itinary (itenary?) so come!

Kovalam was lovely, and I'm in Bangalore now, about to be taken out by a most kind friend of a friend. Expect more on the travel post front when I return.

And don't worry about me, gentle reader, I'll be fine. Anon commentors, lay off, or I'll bite you, I swear. And not in a good way either.


  1. wish i was in hyderabad now. would have surely come!

  2. Mate, i truly believe that some ppl are born to be single ; like you ! and that's all i will say. I think u need to find a companion(s) based on activity. One to travel with, One to drink with, One to be married to, One of say sweet nothings, the list is endless...

    I read your book and follow your blog post that. I think i am married to a twin of yours.The similarities are amazing.

    And the solution I gave you on para 1 really works. Atleast, it worked for your twin !

  3. i wish it was as simple as 'operative knick knacks' puts it. a companion for every activity..even marriage. I sometimes wish i was single again...! learn something from everything and have fun and the rest will follow. so i'd like to believe. hang in there!

  4. The exclamation points aren't fooling anyone. The pain needs to go somewhere. I suggest you make a good, long, heartfelt post out of it. You're really good at that, you know.
    There was one, a long time ago, "Love Is Short, Forgetting So Long". That was really, really good.

    And hey, head held high, bitch.

  5. like operative knick-knacks said, there are really some people who are supposed to be single. Like i am. im like, continuously single. which kind of sucks.

  6. hey, at least i'm keeping it together, no? you guys should be PROUD, not all "you will always be single" (i know you MEANT well, but really? REALLY? :)) and "you need to write sappy posts" (okay, yes, writing those are fun, but i need to be in the mellow-ish, it could never happen between us zone to do it justice, not all alanis morissette-y like i am now)


  7. f*ck and forget is the new mantra of our india's new generation and hence you are a youth icon!

    get over it , watch some more SATC, write some more cheap fiction, while real people with real life and real pain try their best to make this purgatory a better place!


  8. i'm sorry to hear that. chin up lil Minna. like i've said before many times. youre stil very young and will look back at this with smile.. or maybe giggle in your case...

  9. Hey, cheer up, its better to move away than to hang on to the corpse of a relationship. I am sure you will find someone better real soon!

  10. Hey, I am sure you'll find some one.
    I am not gonna talk much abt it.

    But, I am in Hyderabad and can't wait to come meet you. Will see you on sat! :)

  11. Vaerry PROUD of you!

    And hello, you are not meant to be single forever(no one is). There is a better man out there for you.

    Also, y'know what(and this is important so, concentrate?).. you are smart, intelligent, accomplished, famous, hot AND can only be better from here.


  12. Oh! and that doesnt mean life is bad right now. Only that it can be better.

    btw, who's gonna rub shoulders with De tomorrow? ;)
    I really like DE! And am jealous of you. Hrmphhh.


  13. Itinerary.

    Don't sweat the small stuff, kill 'em at the readings.


  14. YAY!!!
    I'm gonna be at Hyderabad on the 11th!!
    Will try my best to come.

    And yes, we're all PROUD of how you're keeping it together. Honest.

  15. Sorry to hear that...but ups and downs are a part of life...or so they say!! Anyway, one phase over, next waiting right around the corner for u :)! Smile your way through any shit, thats the way to be :)!!

    Oh, and ur itenerary sounds hectic and buzzing with activity! Plan a tour to Dubai I can attend one of ur book-signing events :)!

    Anyway, Keep Smiling and Keep Writing!

  16. Dear Em,

    Do please come to Dubai,
    There are lotsa pubs and nightlife here. After your reading, you can go out and have a splendid time. Does your publisher have a Dubai publishing thingie out? If you could have one, try Magrudy... they do book launches...

  17. Why does it sound so familiar...your love life? Oh..yeah. It's like mine. Which coincidentally I wrote about yesterday. :-) Bah, but we're not dead, not about to die either, goes on. Let's have some fun, then

  18. It's Itinerary.
    I'm so there.
    You're a little too much and a little too good for JC.

  19. Do you find your life becoming less special when you put so much of it out there? You started with under a pseudonym and then got to be a well known personality. Surely, you would not have started with a pseudonym if this was where you wanted to go. Anyway, now as they put it "you are here", do you find yourself wishing you could turn back the clock?

    I will definitely attend the Bangalore thing. No, I have not brought your book yet :). I will buy a original copy (royalties and all to you) when I know I can finish it in a week... which will probably be next month.

    Welcome to our green and dusty city and wish you a pleasant stay.

  20. Spotted you on Church Street today! Atleast I think it was you. :)

    All the best for the rest of the tour!

  21. Denial is a great coping mechanism is what I can vouch best...sorry to hear abt it though...take care you!

  22. kovalam sucks these days... hope u dint venture outta the regular beach...

  23. Hi Meenakshi

    Where are you staying?

    Would like to meet!


  24. I finished reading your book yesterday and it was great!

    I'll be there tomorrow!

    For all Bangaloreans,here is the location on Google Maps,77.595904&spn=0.002399,0.003648&z=18&t=h

  25. Not very consoling but here is some unasked for opinion of a 17 year old kid ...

    It will pain but just think if you deserve it. Keep your self worth and enjoy every experience.

    Oh, and dun worry. As always, time heals. So stay alive, happy and foolish. :)

  26. There's a tea shop Infiniea right opposite to the place where your book is getting launched. Check out my blog in case you want to know more about it. (Shameless plug, I know , with due apologies).

  27. Meenakshi,

    You are a gifted writer with a good flair for writing and easy flow of words............
    But if you want to and get to know little sagacity, please read the blog - Refelections of a survivor, and get to know what you are lacking.

    Both are gifted and I wondered, as a not so gifted person, the difference of the way in which both using their talents.

  28. yeah i knw how it feels after the end of a relationship...its like u wish if u cud just remove your heart from your body so that u don't feel any pain..wish we could do that...
    and i agree with operative knick-knacks that some ppl are born to be single..
    it sucks bug time.....

  29. You know I realised a funny thing...your "About Me" says your are a 20 something single female...that's you according to you. You have written what you want to be...single :)

  30. kovalam was nice??man..the beaches have been yucky dis past few yrs now!!

    and yeah..congratulations.. :P

  31. *looks sheepish*
    But I am proud.
    I just, you know, love those posts..

  32. Now that you are single are you accepting applications for prospective boyfriends,hehe...If yes then where do I apply. =]

  33. Hi EM,

    I am in Hyderabad, so i will try to come on the 11th. By the way the Odyssey in Secunderabad doesn't have your book!! tell them!

    Also take care of yourself.

  34. eM,

    Am ur fan...

    Now am reading ur book...

    Happy to here that u r coming to hyd...

    I will be there at odessy on 11 th evening 6 pm sharp...

    I will bring ur book..hope that u will sign on it...

    celebrity eM....


    a fan..


    Actually....Odyssey means , ppl think that panjagutta branch, coz..many ppl know that and it is near to Hyderabad central....

    But our fav blogger aka writer aka eM aka reading is at Odyssey , jubli hills branch..

    It a new branch that opened today(10 oct 08)

    Address: After Jubli hills check post, In Road no 36 of jubli hills , u can find a more super market , opp to thatodyssey is there...

    Land mark: Before peddammagudi temple, u can find this...

    If u have vehcle thatz fine, but wanna depend Buses, Bus nos: 47k and 47s...

    If u catch any 47 no, u can come till jublihills chechk post..from there catch a sharing auto...

    as a eM FAN....I feel that its my responsibility to share the address details...

    c u all fans of eM at tomarrow evening at odyssey,,...

    check de.....

    A fan..ANIL...

  36. 1. Glorification : So far, I've read the first 100 pages of your book. Its gorgeous so far, and I am sure the rest of the book would be gorgeous-er. A wonderful first book.
    Keep writing, and keep rocking!

    2. Cribs: I have to stop checking your blog everyday. Or maybe you could start writing more often?

    3. Stupid advice: Being single has its advantages,I just didnt notice any so far. The perfect match doesnt exist, but someone, somewhere, might just be okay enough. Hang on. Its not that tough with Messrs. Jack Daniels and Johnny Walker by your side.

  37. This comment has been removed by the author.

  38. Hey,

    Managed to read & finish ur book, though quiet ordinary, during my recent tript to India.
    You have inspired me to start a blog and I told myself y not. If u can so can I, though it might not be gud enuf to bag a book deal frm the likes of Penguin. I just write for the fun of it and I dont even belog to the 4th estate...
    & btw its itinerary both ur attempts were wrong!!!

  39. saw you yesterday at cafe time out...
    really seeing you all smiling and cheerful, hats off to are one tough nut... :-)

    also wasn't it Toni Morrison that you quoted yesterday?? but good enough you finally wrote a book bout the your generation in India... now finally millions have something to identify with...

  40. Just saw your book in crossword pune. Nice cover you have there. That dads bridesmaid one in funny but kinda overacting. Anyways, just read the first few pages and they are good. Going to go back and pick up a few copies after lunch, so enjoy the royalties! :)

    Oh and you need a better publicist for once. The positioning of your book around the pune crosswords is not quite up to the mark.

  41. wot with all the hype n hush hush n "how cud she ryt tht?" i frankly expected this to be sum kind of trashy write up tht jus happened to b talked abt a lot....but i must admit,you r pretty funny most of the tyms,girl.

    n as for de break up,good thing u hav got ur act together...keep faith,sumbdy jus mite pop outta de skies :D

  42. lols!!!! hate mails,rude anons,stalkers,fans who desperately want to take u out....woah!!! wot hav u done this tym??had fun reading de comments for de last post...anons r on a roll!!!!

    btw isnt der n option to allow only blogger users to comment??tht cud help perhaps

  43. Well, the weekend's over. Hope it was everything you hoped for.

    As for bad connections, just hang up and forget. Takes a while before the right connect happens...

  44. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  45. Hey,
    you won't always be single. chin up.
    and may you be blessed with loads of people who want to make the frandships with you, and even more with who you want to make the frandships! :)

  46. Just through reading the book. Cheer up girl, with such an awesome thing you've written and got published there's hardly any crapola happening lately. Just fuck what happened and campaign for your book. Its really good and people ought to get to read it. Believe me, i've been irritating and troubling all my friends to read the book. Even those who's first time will be your book.

    So now enough of soap-e-ness. Get things in order and enjoy your time around the new cities. Cheers!

  47. Hi Meenakshi,

    I was in the audience at Kovalam, and enjoyed your reading...haven't bought the book yet, but will one of these days, the reading was tempting enough, especially the bit about Britannia...


  48. @ Anon # 7: I have no idea how people can be so incredibly mean to others for no conceivable reason whatsoever? what's your problem?

    @ em: I know I haven't commented very much in recent times, in fact not at all for a while - but i do keep dropping in to read when i need to relax and lighten up a bit.

    I just wanted to comment on this one, cos i think i have something to say here:

    For those of us who continue to be in a relationship for years on end, it's really often at the cost of compromising on a lot of things that were once very very important. Principles, ways of life, communication etc etc.

    That is not to say that is one is either miserable ALL of the time or ecstatic ALL of the time, but just that you see yourself changing into something you perhaps had never conceived you would be. Staying in has a lot of costs, sometimes quite heavy. And I admire those people who choose not to stay in and bear those costs indefinitely. And not to mention the ability to just hang up on 'a connection that was bad ages ago'.

    take care, all the best with the book :)

  49. Hi,
    Like your metaphor of the heart as a switch board with all the emotional lines criss-crossing it. Keep writing! Take care.


  50. Everything here sounds like an adaptation from Sex and the City. I'm sure you can do better. Whatever happened to original ideas?!

  51. Gosh! What is your excuse for not finding love even after going through so many men? If even after writing a whole book on relationships and love did not teach you a lesson, I doubt you will ever learn. Perhaps you are too cynical? Get a life, really.

  52. And I thought only Indian men did it!! You know telling their girl friends how they are all bad, repeating it till a poor girl starts believing it. Thanks for opening my eyes!
    And I am glad you took the step. Overcoming the fear to become single again and get out there in the big bad world is a hard thing to do..
    Dunno if you'd stay single or are meant to be single, all I know is sometimes its the better of the two options.

  53. Read your article 'Ms Adventure' in Mumbai Mirror.

    I was curious though...what is the David Attenborough schpiel? I've never heard it.

  54. Hallo,

    I agree with J. Alfred Pruffrock. You have one life...dont waste your time.

  55. I am not a follower of your blog, but came across you while reading Deccan Herald. I wanted to wish best of luck for your book and all the future endeavours

  56. easy em,he is just another one!!!better days ahead...

  57. what are you trying to say????
    I mean you are just a full confused soul....
    I cant make out a sentence what you write...
    I hope you have written the book for your readers and not for you, and just for you......

  58. sigh... long live singlehood.. chocolates.. sappy movies.. wine.. etc etc etc..

  59. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  60. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  61. so i tell them the truth that you aren't even SINGLE anymore, and u delete my comment?

    If you have so much problem with anons why don't you disable anon comments. But being that the entire purpose of your existence is seeking attention, you would never do that.

    So can you please tell us, are u with JC or not?

  62. lol but being single only leads to one more hook up and being single again.
    So technically, its like losing your virginity.Once you are with someone, you can never be single all your life :|
    Ok.I ramble.

  63. LOL EM, you are like the Elizabeth Taylor or Marilyn Monroe of the blogging world or something!
    Everyone is more interested in YOUR sex and dating life than their own!

  64. Come to Delhi!! your book is based on delhi!!!! you can't not come here.
    and if you already have thn umm come again?

  65. come I am always at the wrong places inspite of being in a big place like Delhi?

    Scribblers Inc.

    P.S.-excuse me ignorance but you write?like you write write??can you tell me how to?cuz I want to write too! :O

  66. hey,
    Sorry if i m passing judgemevts here.. but hv to tel u dis:
    Read ur book. began well, but appeared as if u were too eager to wind up at the end.Somwhere in the second half, the fizzle got lost. nevertheless, a great beginning. LOved the way the book began.

    Gud luck with any new endeavours.

  67. Hi EM..another beautiful smart blog which really shows your powerful writer..Where can I get your book?When it will be launched in Kolkata..please let me know..anyway you are gradually becoming one of the favourite writer..
    If you can please visit my blog and share some comments on my writings..

  68. meenakshi...

    I used to read your blog, (though not a regular visitor) after your interview published on Vanitha (malayalam magazine).

    You are a gifted writer and you express your thoughts very well. But I feel you lack vision & noble mindset, which i just wanted to point out.

    Did u ever tried doing introspection in your life.. Is it all about dating and stuff..? Off course its part of everybody's life, but there are several other things which we are responsible for the society.If you open your eyes and see world in different angle you can see lot many people who does need support & help. Its all about our thinking.

    Start seeing the world and people from different perspective and write about them. It would be great If you can trigger thought of your fellow readers with your writings.. Go ahead with your current writing style.. but occasionally write about other side of our society... and when ever possible help them by sparing some bugs from your boozing party or extravaganza.

    Wishing you all the Best on your new book!!

  69. hey, now am here after i read bout your new book in sunday herald today! whee, celebrity blogger :D
    too bad anon comments are comin in here though, ah, some people are so unsportively sadistic!
    read few of your posts, LOVE your flow! will keep comin back here now. :)
    oh and yes, will get your book asap too!

  70. @trina

    Anon#7 here, though its actually #8.
    Was I being mean? Tell me how!

    I am 22 and educated, so dont trash me away as a *ole fag* or *illiterate*.. let me put my point across a little more clearly.

    I am dumbfounded by the recent obsession of all of us(including most of my friends) with sex, dating and relationship. At 16, thats understandable, at 24 it is not.

    This aping of the american culture... its downright pitiful. A society that has eliminated hunger,pity and disease can *afford* to talk about sex. A society that went through half a decade of sexual revolution can afford to idolize Britney spears .

    A nation mired in poverty and backwardness needs revolution.
    You have to * earn * the right to indulge in pleasure.

    With our young generation, its an opportunity of a millennium for the country, but where do we find today's youth? In hollow ideals of dating hot men and curvy chics.
    puhleez,give me a break!

    This author stands for everything that is wrong with the us today. With the talent , reach and means that we have, we could do so much MORE.

    And all we discuss is brand of whiskey and cute british accent!

    Give me a break, willya?!

    I am afraid this sleaze is the opium of the masses , a disillusionment of fake glory and high life that will lead to the destruction of the dreams and ideals a few of us still aspire to.

    If I am wrong, tell me how. I only listen to logic and reason. Personal attacks will validate my point.

  71. You are very very right Trina.

    This kind of thinking & mindset is the slow poison which is affecting our society & people.

    I am sure Em will understand this in some point of her life. Eagerly waiting for those days where I could see change in her thinking & writing Style.

  72. @ bitchy anons :-)

    According to an international health report,the standard condom size is too big for Indian Men, no wonder why i see a lot of frustrated souls here !

  73. I don't believe that putting comment like this does change anybody's thinking. Its gr8 if can trigger thoughts of some of you guys.

    Operative Knick-Knacks .... Don't get excited on a fact which you can't accept. Fact remains a fact.. whether u accept or not.

    Its all about you thinking and way you brought up. We Indians now tend to follow western culture while westerners now realize our cultural values. Try to have a motherly feeling to your country & cultural values.. Its all what we are .. try to be what you are . not be a copy cat :-)

    Operative Knick-Knacks .. for your knowledge.. Its not the size which does matter, its love, respect, loyalty and self-respect which matters, & more over the size depends on ethnicity... You cannot compare an Asian with European. e.g you cannot compare a German with Japanese or Indian. So forget all those comparisons.

    Note: Sorry if I hurt anybody.. just wanted to express my thoughts.

  74. Why does it seem like u are obsessed with analyzing the "size" of different origins ?

    Should say, your knowledge is immense. Congrats on that !

    "Operative Knick-Knacks .. for your knowledge.. Its not the size which does matter, its love, respect, loyalty and self-respect which matters"

    Yeah yeah yeah.... little Dick, u made ur point...

  75. Knick.. don't take the talks into a filthy way.. What i commented is a mere common sense.. nothing more.. .. take it in a positive way !! Cheer up !! Hopefully your personal problems will get resolved soon !!

    Em, I am sorry for using this comments for personal attacks.

    Good bye !!!

  76. Yah Yah !

    Lets all spend our time obsessing over male genital from different races and just like there will be a revolution in the country, we shall all solve our personal problems.

    Hurray "little dick" !!!!

    Yah Yah !

  77. @operative knick-knacks


    You made me wonder with your IQ, and then I saw... you are male, 29 and you follow shobha de's blog. I cannot elaborate how easy it is for me to blast you to smithereens.. right here.. but what is the point?

    We can always agree to disagree, but only on points, ideas, opinions and beliefs. You, me , your ego and size of my dick are immaterial. Its what we stand for that counts. Haven't you learned that already? Bring back a valid argument and we will discuss.

    And I am sorry eM for using your comment page like this.. but people need to hear both end of spectrums, we do not want a generation of zombies do we? People follow your blog, its in public domain now, by your choice and everything that happens here affects me in some way and hence I am well withing my rights.

    You need to learn baby , and grow up. So much so, why Scout was always my favorite sex blogger. She was not a fake. I give it to her for shutting shop when it she could not maintain anonymity.

    If it stimulated even one person's thought, I have done my job. And I stand by everything that I said.

  78. @ anon #7

    Blah blah blah.. Whatever...

    Now you seek forgiveness of the one you object to and in this case want to shut down? Mate, The revolutionary "you" is the one who doesn't even have a blog or is not willing to identify yourself. I think you should start there.

    Again Mr. Anon #7, blah blah blah.. whatever

  79. @ knick knack

    Here is the deal. How does my identity matter? I could be lazy snack-pack or neo goth (so goth I shits out bats) or omba-jumba.. :-)

    identity on the internet is subjective.

    See now, we are just trolling. I made my point, it wasnt personal against you( or anyone) and you did not have the intelligence for a worthy counter argument. I never asked for forgiveness or asked her to shut shop.

    When scout ( eM's friend) in not so subtle word called her an attention seeking whore, you were not there.

    I just said , and I repeat so that the message is not lost.. whom you sleep around with is your personal matter.just like religion. if you bring it out in public, wash your dirty linen and make points to impressionable minds that this is how a wonderful life is lead...where you should be at 28( as an idol) will find sane people who will oppose what you preach.

    Apathetic, ADD-stricken, promiscuous, ignorant & arrogant are what we have become. numb minds, plugged at both ends by ipod headphones , comfortable in our bubbles and dreaming only of a cubicle for salvation..

    not this time!not again.. there will always be a challenge to this lifestyle. We are witnessing right here in US where it leads to..

    -- Anon#7. * signing off *
    ( PS: @all. I was not the troll coz of which eM blocked comments. I started trolling (lol) after that happened..* wink * )


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