My latest book is The One Who Swam With The Fishes.

"A mesmerizing account of the well-known story of Matsyagandha ... and her transformation from fisherman’s daughter to Satyavati, Santanu’s royal consort and the Mother/Progenitor of the Kuru clan." - Hindustan Times

"Themes of fate, morality and power overlay a subtle and essential feminism to make this lyrical book a must-read. If this is Madhavan’s first book in the Girls from the Mahabharata series, there is much to look forward to in the months to come." - Open Magazine

"A gleeful dollop of Blytonian magic ... Reddy Madhavan is also able to tackle some fairly sensitive subjects such as identity, the love of and karmic ties with parents, adoption, the first sexual encounter, loneliness, and my favourite, feminist rage." - Scroll

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26 May 2007

The post with a lot of fairly useless links, where I also sound like I'm a little stoned. But I'm not. Really.

It's my birthday!

(No, it's not, but wouldn't it be fun if it were? Or, p'raps not. I DO turn 26 this year, which I think everyone will acknowledge is High Time to be An Adult. High Time. Heh. Every night is high time.)

Anyhoo, I have nothing to say. Really. My life has been fairly calm and uneventful. I finished work on a Major Personal Project, which made me bounce all over the house, like Tigger. I wish I had a tail, some days.

I've decided to buy an air conditioner after several mornings, waking up feeling like I've had a warm shower.

Old Monk and Coke will have to be given up for the summer and this makes me very, very sad, because nothing does it for me like Old Monk. But, after several comparision night type drinking things, I've realised that Old Monk hangovers are now leaving me nauseated and dehydrated all day, while the several large vodkas I imbibed yesterday and a couple of days ago can still get me out of the bed in the morning feeling absolutely peachy. Old Monk, Old Monk, why have you forsaken me? You served me well for close to, oh, nine years now.

I might very well be a sex addict, according to Oprah. I'm not sure exactly what to do with this news.

And to get the link for the last sentence, I typed Oprah Sex Addict into Google, and this made me giggle.

Speaking of things that made me giggle, I happened to look at a cricket match being played the other day--England versus the West Indies, I think it was--and one of the players was called R. Sidebottom. Heh. The poor guy.

I'm not very much of a cricket fan, as you have no doubt guessed. I'll go so far as to say that it is the scourge of our nation and if we spent less time watching people with stupid bats and balls, running around like great Freudian Stereotypes, or six year old boys, and if we spent less time investing and actually giving a fuck about who wins whatever matches and more time paying attention to a country where a lot of things are still very fucked up despite the fact that we have now proudly upgraded from a Third World label to a Developing Nation one, things would probably be a lot better. *coughcolonialhangovercough*

Also, I think it's deadly boring, and I dread whatever major matches India happens to be playing because that means I have to LISTEN to people going on and on and ON about scores and who hit what and how many overs. Not over soon enough, if you ask me. And I don't know why people keep watching anyway, because the Indian team invariably loses. Boys In Blue, my ass.

I also realised as I was typing that last paragraph that it would probably bring the trolls creeping out from wherever they are in hordes. Hah, it's more like a troll magnet. Oh well. You win some, you lose some. Blogging is not a popularity contest.

Except it so is.

Have you ever noticed when you say things aren't popularity contests they usually are?

See? I told you I had nothing to say.

Maybe we could chat next week? Yes? Call me!

EDITED UPDATE: And because I'm home for the first time in a very long time on a Saturday night, I'm announcing a mini contest! Oh, don't roll your eyes at me, this will be fun. So I was listening to We Didn't Start The Fire and I did a bit of a desi version. Only it's not finished, because I can't quite think how to wrap it up. That's where you come in. Pretty please?

Robert Clive, the last Mughal, Mangal Pandey raising hell,
British killed, Indians spilled, no one left alive.

Mahatma Gandhi spun a wheel, Mohammed Jinnah sprung a deal,
Pakistan—east and west, divide and rule put to test.

Nehru came to power, his little daughter learnt by far,
Aim taken by Godse, Gandhi blown away.

We didn’t start the fire etc etc

Indira Gandhi, no relation, launched the colour television,
Family Planning came to be, that and the Emergency

The Golden Temple was invaded, Sikhs felt violated,
Bodyguards machine gunned, Indira was stunned

Sikh riots ’84, worse than they had been before,
Genocide, tales of woe, British said, I told you so

We didn’t start the fire (and so on)

Rajiv Gandhi sworn in, Congress in the loony bin,
Enquiries were made, Gandhi family’s rep saved

License Raj fell apart, the LTTE’s broken heart,
MTNL came about, Bofors cast him out

Chandrashekar came on stage, ended that golden age,
The widow declined, Narisimha Rao changed his mind

We didn’t start the fire (ah, you know the rest)

And this is the part I don’t know what to do with. So, I put it in your hands, oh wise and capable reader. Finish this, updated to present day and you win a prize! (Well, not a real prize. But fame and glory on this spot on the internet, which is nice anyway, don’t you think?)


  1. hey eM..
    Just a friendly advice about the old mink-coke thingie...its probably got to do with the Bombay heat..seriously...old monk-coke combo doesn't work in Mumbai all year round! U might wanna wait till the rains start..Old monk+coke+rains in bombay = a very happy person!

  2. looked on to the link for oprah, and was shocked by the headline about some girl having sex with 90 guys!!!
    90 is so high..

    i remember there is some channel "play tv" (it should be there on ur tv as well). there was a late night program there called "hot talk" which featured call-in discussion on mainly sex. one of the girls once mentioned that she ensures she has sex before she falls in love with someone so that she knows if he is compatible or not!

    needless to say, this was my favorite source of entertainment back then!

  3. maybe if u cut down on the caffeine and alcohol mix? both tend to dehydrate mix ur old monk with cranberry juice or something? orrr....use gin or you have already noticed :)

  4. @Em
    Happy birthday...rock on!
    Try switching the rum drinks a little bit...mix up some white rum (my fav is a spiced white rum) with some pineapple juice and coconut milk.

  5. um.. it's not really my birthday.

    that's in december. 13th actually, if you're feeling in a flowers/chocolate/book voucher from amazon type mood. :)

    and yeah, i agree, it's the bloody heat. sigh. this would never happen in delhi.

  6. The very same thing happened t me with Old Monk. Now the very smell of the damn thing can bring on a faint feeling of nausea.

  7. hell u rock. I never comment. Hell u just ignore them anyway. :p Dont u? Random guys trying to get into ur pants!

  8. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  9. Wow - that was one hell of a spam comment above! Please delete!
    Great lyrics!

  10. Cricket people have funny names, Michael Holding Peter Willy...ok so those are 2 names but its funny

  11. just an attempt..[:)]
    Twin towers collapse, dec 13(belated happy bday!!), another relapse
    India shining disappears, common man still in tears

  12. I knew a guy who's name was higginbottom.

    To improve the song a tad, move the last two we didn't start the fire's' up a verse. It follows the song more. Beyond that, I can't offer any more.

  13. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  14. Em, wot the heck was tht last Anon comment abt?? Arrgh..think u have been spammed. Also, whiskey sour does it for me, think abt tht as an alternative for the freaking summer heat!

  15. who IS this strange anon guy? and why is he typing his novel into my comment space? and *sigh* here each time i see the comments go up i get happy, and then i see strange spam and i'm sad again.

  16. lovely song eM. i had no idea u were so clued in on such stuff and would write a song about it. filmakerFriend

  17. how about this for the chorus -

    "Humne aag nahin jalaai, ye to tab se jal rahee hain jabse duniya chal rahee hain"

  18. Well I am not much of a lyricist but here are a few events that may be included in your song:
    1. Demolition of Babri
    2. Jessica Lall
    3. Mandal Commission
    4. Mumbai blasts
    5. VAT
    6. MCD sealings
    7. Reservations
    8. BPO wave
    9. Pokhran blasts etc..
    Can anyone pls try and make these eclectic events rhyme somehow!!!

  19. Hmmmm.......((Add this before your Mughals))

    One Omkar, three lords, rest are just mere gods
    Holy Cow and Puranas, lost are our beloved Praanas.

    Lord Rama, Lady Sita, Still Burning Lanka Bright.
    Bhagwad Gita, RamCharitManas, How come we are still at loss.

    Bindusara’s Great Ashoka, floating bodies in Kalinga
    Chankaya, Vikramaditya, Greek blooded Indians

    Mohd Ghori, Prithviraj, last Hindu in the Raj
    Mughals and the Sultanate, Stopped at the Southern gate

    We didn’t start the fire………….. (chorus)

    (add this at the end)

    Atal and the Shining Light, Doused by the brothers’ fight (Mahajan)
    Last Heir to the throne, (rahul) No heir to the throne (mayawati)

    Godhra’s Modi Bhai, Ambani’s Kokilaben,
    Lakshmi Mittal pure steel, Arcelor, what a steal

    News Channel’s in a box, poor prince in a hole
    Nandigram on the boil, dibo na tomake soil! (won’t give you the soil)

    We didn’t start the fire……..(chorus)


  20. Make it rhyme... jabse duniya chal rahee thee

  21. But eM, by the sounds of it you do have a tail, one much sought after, I might add. Try a Mojito if you want to stir it up a bit.

  22. 04 eM's blog, wrote about her life and love
    patchups, heartbreaks, tonsil hockey and birthday cakes

    old monk, every night, morning feeling,not right
    boys that come along and the spam by some A'non

    ABC and JF..K's, mostly ex's nowadays
    unrest in her space, venting out in cyberspace

    black hair indian name, simply blonde in the game
    little naughty,weak at heart but a real sweetheart

    you did start the fire

  23. awww.
    somebody wrote me a poem!
    thank you, tls :)

  24. dude i think he called you blonde.



  25. White wine works for me best - a bottle does the trick and leaves me with NO hangover at all!!! Just the thought makes me 'happy'....

    And yes, I do agree, the bit about how things are not popularity contests - they are ALWAYS popularity contests... Blogging classifies for that totally.

  26. drink scotch . . . even the hangover feels good . . .

  27. Hey em, instead of Indira was stunned, how is Indira was done ?

    Nice effort though.

  28. So we share the same date? I've not found too many ... always one to this side or the other.

  29. Nice idea, eM. Notice hoe we don't seem to have any catch-phrases until the 80s?


  30. We didn’t start the fire

    Round two has players new,
    With liquid cash and lofty views

    On a whim the rules they skew
    India Shining; the light's seen by few

    CNG and Sheila-ji, clean the Taj, goonda-RAJ,
    Forex Fodder Sex and Scam
    It's Democracy on the Lam!

    WE didnt start the fire...etc.


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