My latest book is The One Who Swam With The Fishes.

"A mesmerizing account of the well-known story of Matsyagandha ... and her transformation from fisherman’s daughter to Satyavati, Santanu’s royal consort and the Mother/Progenitor of the Kuru clan." - Hindustan Times

"Themes of fate, morality and power overlay a subtle and essential feminism to make this lyrical book a must-read. If this is Madhavan’s first book in the Girls from the Mahabharata series, there is much to look forward to in the months to come." - Open Magazine

"A gleeful dollop of Blytonian magic ... Reddy Madhavan is also able to tackle some fairly sensitive subjects such as identity, the love of and karmic ties with parents, adoption, the first sexual encounter, loneliness, and my favourite, feminist rage." - Scroll

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28 June 2005

It's not always rainbows and bu'flies, it's compromise that moves us along

Some general witterings about my state of mind

I wish I could pause some parts of my life. Or cue them. Happy Ending... cut! Like a season finale. No worrying about then what or hang on, while I go to the bathroom or were you looking at her breasts? I don't want to have to worry about that. I don't want to think about people in the past or worry about looking like I'm trying too hard or sometimes come face-to-face with my loneliness, which hasn't really gone away, it's just in hiding inside my being. And sometimes when I look into the mirror, I see it, peering out at me, in the corners of my mouth or the tilt of my eyelashes and I feel sad.

Though, don't get me wrong. I'm not sad sad. I'm seldom sad about things I cannot change. I'm happy that the weather's changed, I'm a little snarky that I'm on desk duty this week, I'm pissed off that some friends have left town and people who were due back haven't returned, I'm pleased that certain relationships are settling into happy humdrum-ness without long drama queen type situations, and yeah, see, I'm not sad.

I just wish something would happen.

This is getting ridiculous

Now while I like my job and all, I'm a features reporter, right? I should be eating caviar and gliding gently down five-star lobbies and lunching at Olive or somewhere with someone famous. I certainly should not be sustaining injuries.

Remember the broken toe? Also got in the line of duty? Well, Saturday night I managed to pratically get a black eye. How, you ask? Well, I was at Elevate with Dee and she was most upset because someone had flicked her phone, right out of her bag, and c'mon, if you're going to be partying at Elevate you don't need the money from stolen phones.

Anyway, so in an attempt to make her feel better, I parked her at the railing of one of the VIP enclosures. (Elevate has a VIP floor, where you have to be a member to sit. Or the press. Each enclosure has a velvet sofa, a low table, and a railing which you can peer over and look at the masses. And fits about five people comfortably, cordoned off with glass doors) So I trotted off to the bar to get us some drinks and headed for Dee and promptly walked into the glass partition, really HARD too, so my drink splashed all over it and my head felt all wobbly. And someone, said, "Oh my god are you all right?" and I growled and said, "Why can't these doors be a little dirty?" and now I can't raise my eyebrows. Gah. (And it's NOT funny, so stop laughing!)

But you're just so hot, DJ

Juggy D. Mmm. Juggy D. Not hot hot, but I could see us being nineteen and naughty.

(Interviewed him at Elevate, by the way, which is why I was there. In pink halter. And girl with foreign accent came up to me and said, "Are you a reporter?" "Why yes," I smiled and she said, "Well, you totally don't look like one." It was the halter, I tell you.)

Fried stuff with cheese
We have gargantuan cravings for this deadly snack they serve at MB's in Defence Colony Market. You get very cheap booze at MB's (short for Malik Brothers) which is why we go, even if they do play that Saath Samundar song from Chameli about a hundred million times. You also get this thing called Dyno Bites, basically cheese and jalapeno peppers batter fried and sooooooooooooooo GOOD. With sour cream dip.
They give you like six on a plate which is barely anything, so we always wind up ordering more. And more. If you're ever in the neighbourhood, be sure to check it out. You'll probably see us there, most days.

Ooh, there's a button! And the photos just appear!

Yeah, well, I've discovered how to post pictures. And being the moderate creature that I am, I think I shall post a picture before every post. Why? Because I can! :)

*here's to a more exciting week ahead*


  1. haha.. that glass story was funny.. But hope you are ok though..
    Reminds me of that Saint Gobain Glass advertizement where this corporate-type woman and corporate-type man are walking towards each other and both are trying to make way to the other by moving left and right. Finally they get it right with one of them shifting left and the other to the right. Finally banging their nose against the glass together.

  2. You are spot on about the need to have a pause button for life. I once wished there were a reset button in life which would allow you to start on an even keel once again.

    I totally know how it feels to walk into a glass door. I did it at Crossroads, the first mall that opened in Bombay. What you don't know, I am sure, is how it feels to fall into a fountain in front of 100 people. Ha!

  3. Hi there eM,

    Guess I'm slowly becoming a fan of yours. Great posts and you have this wonderful knack of connecting to people and their memories. Keep going. Nice to know of a Delhi which I have never seen in spite of being born there.

  4. Oh, Dyno Bites ought to be checked out when I am in Delhi day after, will also look out for Pink-haltered-broken-toed-and-unable to-raise-eyebrow person! :)

    And let me see now, you don’t look like a Southie and you don’t look like a reporter? Non Southie, I can imagine… but what do reporters look like, I wonder? Hmmm, I suppose most people mean you don’t look dowdy!

    Hope the week and the eye both get better! :)

  5. Well, thank you! Dyno Bites at Malik Brothers, eh?
    So now I have more temptation to resist when I'm in Delhi.

    Are you sure the black eye was not caused by subconscious stimulation, like watching the Saint-Gobain ads a zillion times? (They don't even pronounce it right!)

    And I see I got linked. Very flattering, considering your's is now a celeb blog (or are you a blog celeb?)


  6. Okay, I HAVEN'T watched the ad. Okay? :)

    rt: Yes, that would probably be more embarrasing! Luckily, not many people saw me :)

    anurag: Yes, I'm always wishing for MS Word controls. Copy-Paste. And best, Ctrl+Z! :)

    imhunt: Ummmm... okay?

    udayan: Ooh thanks! I see from your profile you're in Bombay though. Have you never been to my fair city?

    forgetful: Actually, to be truthful, I only know two songs by Maroon 5. The one I used and This Love. Any more I should listen to? And yeah, totally shift back to journalism! Such fun :)

    primal: I don't wear pink halter ALL the time you know :) (Though I totally should!) And broken toe is now healed. But yes, you HAVE to check it out! :)

    J.A.P: Look who's talking about being blog celeb :P I should've said my thank you's a while ago, but I have terrible manners like that!
    Oh yeah, and the two of you (Primal, J.A.P) should totally look me up while you're in the city. Alcohol is conducive to the blogging process.

    cecuk: Your link gives me a 404 error actually, so I don't know where "here" is :( And I haven't done any wild-horse-scaring in a bit! :)

  7. oh but it was funny.
    i do hope you are not hurt
    i do not seem to know this MB place
    i am drooling at the sound of the jalapeno bites
    and VIP areas- charming, arent they

  8. vague: Not THAT funny, c'mon :) And yeah, the Dyno Bites, (or is it Dino Bytes?) are brill.

    pleo: You know, it's funny, but EVERYONE who I've told this story too knows a "walked into glass" story. Clearly it's a popular mishap.

    mint: Welll... still not going to do that I think...and where are YOUR actual pictures? ;)

    vibhu: Heh. The list just keeps growing. And I LIKED Shrikanto. It's called a halter because it has no straps, instead it ties up behind your neck.

  9. Mechanical bulls, rotating barrels, and now invisible partitions..:) How many drinks down were you when this happened, BTW?

  10. Word of the month, evidently, is "totally". Noted.

    I am in Delhi, waiting for a mandarin. I suppose one just walks into Turquoise Cottage and asks for the Confessor?
    Interesting scenario. There should be a story in there somewhere.


  11. eM, have got new phone, replacement sim should be activated by tonight. also, blog about the whole flirting with Rajat Sharma and the weird guy outside the loo bit. Btw, are the pics your mum took that night out yet?
    PS:its called a Halter cause it halt-ers the boobs falling out.

  12. Since I am online and therefore can reply to comments which I can't do from work, might as well, no?

    fingeek: No drinks down, if you can believe it. I was as sober as a judge! (If judges are sober. Oh well, it's a good saying)

    J.A.P: One does not do any such thing. One emails in a decorous fashion. TC is most crowded and though people might give you funny looks for yodelling "Confessor!" across the floor, I might not hear you. And yes, yes, I know I OD'd on the totally. But Blogger doesn't have an "edit comment" option. Which it (totally) should! And you're waiting for a mandarin? Explain?

    dee: Ooh goodie! I'm guessing you remember my number so call when activated. Or email and I'll call. How could I forget about the weird guy outside the loo? (Who, btw, for everyone else, asked Dee if she was with her boyfriend. "No," she said, "I'm with my girlfriend." (As in friend-who-is-girl) "Oh, lesbian?" he asked eagerly. "Umm... no!" she replied. "Well, then, would you like to share a kiss?" he asked, before I emerged from the loo and rescued her.) :)

  13. Kind of late into the action here, but yeah it is nice to see another TC zealot any day. It has been great fun there over the past 2-4 years, but of late Wednesdays (yes, the night where we flash our press cards) have become way too crowded and the floor itself feels like the Delhi - Jaipur highway after 11, making it impossible to shake a leg even if we want to, which is not quite on considering that Nikhil, who plays the same set every day but beat mixes once in a while at least, has left his residency there, while the current resident Sonu (that is his name as far as I can remember) goes over the top, often with a stale set, playing really heavy stuff as early as 11:30. Just not on.

    I do agree that the T&CC is a pale imitation (they almost managed to even replicate the gents restroom too!), but at least it has plenty more of space, parking is not a nightmare and (for one more week at least) it is quite close to the office. Elevate is one place we've still not gone to yet, even though we've come close quite a few times. Considering the hype that has accompanied most new places in Del and how it lets you down really bad once you actually get there, I am even sort of wary to go there. Should make it there though, at least for the sake of going there one of these days.

  14. Oh poor girl. Now you have a black eye. Now we have to go out for a drink. Bet nice post.

  15. Hi eM,

    Actually been to Delhi quite a number of times. My mom was from Del and have spend quite a part of my childhood there.

    Have worked there also for four months in 1999 while staying at ... hold your breath ... Def Col .. A-338 is what I think it was.

    Have fond recollections of Moets, Colonel Kababs and Sagar. They must be still there, no? can't recollect Malik Bros, though !

    Chill !!

  16. It is called a "halter" because it halts rrrrright where it should ;)No?

  17. Update: MBs is not bad, Dyna Bites are good but the tomato dip is better (sour cream should be more sour and creamier!).

    Sleep won out over Blues. Maybe next time.


  18. codey: Oooh, another TC lover! It's so good to meet someone who doesn't go, "WHAT do you see in that place?" :)

    forgetful hearer: Yes, I've been going around singing just that line to myself too :)

    udayan: Heh. What a coincidence :) MB's just opened recently actually. Malik Brother's is a general store and I guess the proprieters decided to open a bar too and they thought MB's was the coolest name. :)

    J.A.P: Tomato dip! Damn and I've been wondering and wondering what it was! :) Too bad about Blues, next time perhaps.

    getting there: Hehehe. Many definitions. Whatever, it's just sexy, okay? ;)

  19. i always picture reporters to be chainsmokers with bad hair. i think you qualify on one, but not both ;)


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