Remainder pile

* I have an excellent blog post all about "Are you trying to mess with the messee?" and mixed messages and signals and all that, but I can't post it because too many people I know read this blog.





* Which is why, as I mentioned on the comment section earlier, I'm going to shortly turn this blog into invite-only readers. If you still want to keep reading, I'll let you know when to send me your email address for the invite.





* In the meanwhile, it will be a fairly bland post I'm afraid. Although, I could, I suppose, talk about my cat. He's spoilt rotten, will only eat one brand of cat food, which is also, lalalalala, the most expensive one, won't eat cooked fish or raw shrimp or anything that is unfamiliar, thinks my cellphone charger is his new toy, and likes to crawl under the cover with me in the morning and dig his teeth and claws into my ankle, as well as climbing all over my boobs as a gentle WAKE UP AND FEED ME ALREADY reminder. He has this one game he loves, we call it "Let's make the bed!" and I swear he has sonic hearing when it comes to my bed, because even if he is curled up fast asleep somewhere, he will hear me shake out the sheets and come running to sit on my bed as I make it. And then he lies there as I toss my counterpane over him, and he does a few experimental, "Mmmmm..reow?s" as he stalks around underneath the sheets before he emerges, so triumphant. My cat is a little psycho.





* What are your I-would-never-dates? Mine are a) non-smokers b) non-drinkers and c) vegetarians. Not that there's anything wrong with these kind of people, I just wouldn't be able to date them, what with worrying about cigarette breath, how much more coffee we could drink and having to always order mushrooms or paneer. The list used to be longer and included d) people who don't like animals; e) people who don't read; f) people who don't drive, but as age catches up with me, I'm getting less picky. Although I would never marry someone who doesn't read. Because my bookshelves are my best decoration, what else would I stack up randomly around the house?





* This weekend I am being a good granddaughter and succumbing to filial duties by going to Cochin for my grandmother's 80th birthday. I will, no doubt, be gritting my teeth through it all, because this will be a nonsmoking weekend. A nonsmoking, nonnaked weekend also. Smiling at old uncles I haven't seen in years and answering inane questions about my life. I think I'll have a t-shirt made that says, "I like it very much, thank you for asking." Does anyone from Cochin read this blog? Will you meet me so I can chainsmoke and blame it on you? And I don't know any Malayalam. Sigh.





* Although it would not be as bad as going to meet my mom's relatives in Hyderabad. There I have to fend off questions about when I'm getting married. Either the Malayalis are more liberal and forward thinking, or they just don't give a rat's ass about my marital status. Either way, it means that much less teeth gritting.





* I would like to get married though. I mean, not desperately, but it's in there, with the rest of my to-be-done-eventually list. I'd like to have a court wedding, not too much fuss, and then take everyone to Neemrana or Dharamshala and party for two days. And I will be stunning and all grown up, and he will be stunning-er, and everyone will say how awesome we look together. I like being in a couple, I realise, it's good fun, even though singledom has its distinct advantages.





* Many months ago, I got an email from this guy I met once asking me to link to his blog, and his friends. Which I promptly ignored. But then, we became friends and when we met on Tuesday night, he said, "Now that we've known each other for so long, do an entire post on how awesome my blog is and how more people should visit it." He hasn't linked me AT ALL, so there will be no entire post, but I do enjoy his blog (and his comments) soooo, I'm putting it in big block letters. Go read Leo's blog now. Happy?





* I have not been to a new place in so long.

* And my MSN status says: Master And Commander Of Awkward Situations

* Which makes me wonder whether it should be Mistress?

* And Commandress?

* Commandrette looks better, I think.

* But also it makes me look like the kind of person who dots her i's with a heart.

* Or a circle.

* And I feel fat.

* Not to mention hairy.





* Which doesn't make me feel particularly attractive.





*And when I wear cleavage-y tops at night, my neck and face are a completely different colour from my boobs.





* So I look like I've borrowed my torso from someone else.





* The best solution to this is to wear low cut things in the day as well, so I tan evenly.





* Which I did yesterday, when I walked all over town for a story I was doing.





* Which is not such a good idea, because the daytime? It is HOT.





* And a pool of sweat gathers in my bra.





* And when you go out after work, people recoil from you, their noses wrinkling.





* So I'm going to henceforth stay indoors while the sun is up, and do all my interviews on the phone.





* And not be cleavage-y till the winter.





* When it will be too cold to be cleavage-y.





* Oh wait, I live in Bombay.