My latest book is The One Who Swam With The Fishes.
"A mesmerizing account of the well-known story of Matsyagandha ... and her transformation from fisherman’s daughter to Satyavati, Santanu’s royal consort and the Mother/Progenitor of the Kuru clan." - Hindustan Times
"Themes of fate, morality and power overlay a subtle and essential feminism to make this lyrical book a must-read. If this is Madhavan’s first book in the Girls from the Mahabharata series, there is much to look forward to in the months to come." - Open Magazine
"A gleeful dollop of Blytonian magic ... Reddy Madhavan is also able to tackle some fairly sensitive subjects such as identity, the love of and karmic ties with parents, adoption, the first sexual encounter, loneliness, and my favourite, feminist rage." - Scroll
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14 November 2007
Because we're bored of being unhappy
1. It's laudae ka baal, his new creative swear
2. If anyone asks again, I'm going to say it was a one night stand!
3. Haha it's raining. hope the white top is holding up :) and the white boy too.
4. Filth that's what it is. Disgusting downright filth. I say burn us all at the stake.
5. Some people got me drunk and now im going home in a rickshaw driven by an even drunker man times like these i really wish i had a helicopter or jet pack are you feeling any better oh and this girl whose name i cannot remember said hi to me even though she was piti this racist asshole i hate but what are you gonna do you know?
6. Fuck wat u saying thats crazy long live facebook
7. We are also shiny. No laughing, all solidarity.
I have some two thousand messages in my inbox, so that's all I can find for now. Clearly, I am scraping the bottom of the barrel for blog posts now. I've been generally weepy and angst-filled recently thanks to a Saturday night from hell, but today, as my Facebook status update says: I'm snapping out of it. SNAP!
This is therefore one of those new-age interactive type blog posts, where you entertain me by posting your favourite text messages in the comment section. Out-of-context works the best, I always find. I'll add more to my own list later. It's early Tuesday morning, and some of us have work to do.
Oh, and exactly a month from today is my 26th birthday. Time to grow up, I think, no?
In no particular order and all quote unquote:ReplyDelete
1.sorry. i'm conditioned in the old school. would you girls be so kind as to inform me that you're home safe (i know its silly).
2.how do you know I took a bath yesterday?
3.friends, family and other animals are welcome to join in.
4.there's a book sale at central forum. Classics at $2!
5. concentrate. Move it toward you.
6. hey the aaloo matter is in the fridge. The chole fell down and i forgot to leave the bread. Sorry, life has been a bit disastrous. Hope you wont go hungry babe! much love.
Ah, interactive:)Here goes ditto as in text:ReplyDelete
1. So are we just gonna stick to facebook or are we actually gonna meet
2. Like two lost souls swimming in the same fishbowl:)
3. Hey you can join us here haan. Jus calme and come. we are playin these really fun games so come come!
4. U got to help me ok or i will burst
5. Don worry..All things come to those who wait plus I am old:)
6. Stendhal syndrome..Dizziness panic paranoia or madness caused by viewing certain artistic or historical artifacts or seeing too many such artifacts in too short a time..it's a real illness!
7. It don't go...it gets put on hold.
no lists here...unless you can count "Your Citibank Card balance is...." or "My heartfelt thanks for voting for me, even though, friends, I could not become your Bar Assn's President, but such is the life..." as part of a list....ReplyDelete
"Laude ka baal"...feck..that is so HYDERABAD (eM would know)...*nostalgic sniffs all around*
ok THIS i like.ReplyDelete
1. What am I? A highland terrier?
3. Bollywood party. Am wasted. Where you?
4. Do you remember someone called Doctor Bombay? A music person from the early nineties?
5. It's terribly boring, apparently. We'll go, yes.
6. Hey Scout, since the maid is not coming, could you please clean the loo. the past two times I have done it. I'll handle the kitchen.
7. Going home. Will you know if ho going to f-bar.
And I see my "white" shirt/boy message made it. What can I say. I bring the funny.
YAY Since I am the queen of texting....here goes...ReplyDelete
"chris cancel conf. see me instead!"
from you: "I can't understand how you can have time for lunch and not a movie" & "No dude the crowd was too crowdy" & "Pali what is that a name of a restaurant?"
"stop being nostalgic about something that's not in the past yet"
"wouldn't be christmas if I didn't miss chris...
'NO!NO!NO!NO!" (ex boss)
"g'nite drive in a straight line wherever it is required"
"you're staying? in that acse i'll come back or die trying"
"if it were a strip tease I'd say yes no greek play for me" (DAD!)
"HAHAHA WE WON I'm so HAPPY. and I don't even like cricket"
"Sigh...why u such a perv magnet babie (like me" sameer & "got rsi from holding the steering wheel so long"
"babie put off fone and sleef"
"Eat lunch. Go down and eat"
messages from inbox.... well nothing much apart from the vodafone, icici guys and all... a few shayaris and a few dumb stuff.. which i resend again and again to irritate ppl... and well a few msgs from girl.. can't tell u teh contents.. except it's smokin'!! :DReplyDelete
oh.. btw... who wants to grow up?
1) Hi noodle nose. Happy birthday.
2) It's an old association. We were drinking orange scented hot chocolate and listening to the song.
3) The man is freak boring. I need to get out!
4) She was quite shocked to hear these Bollywood choices!
1. fuck man, I always want to take a dump after lunch but the loos here are horrible!ReplyDelete
2. (next message) no no! these meals are damn heavy!
3. no why would they do anything once before also I lost my bag outside Decibel and nothing happened
(in reply to my exhortations to complain to The Park management about the valet at Agni having stolen a lot of money from her wallet)
I just emptied my inbox so don't really have any gems. and didn't transcribe them verbatim bcos I dnt lke txt talk...
Sorry to deviate from the post topic, but has anyone ever complained after having things stolen by parking attendants, and has anything come of it? the girl in question isn't keen to complain and I'm trying to convince her...
and middle ground between comments/no comments would be to disallow anonymous comments. anonymous commenters are universally reviled as cowards. and in the last post's comment space there were 2 anonymous guys slugging it out (I think)... couldn't tell which comment was from whom...
scout what's your blog url?
Hahahaha.. awesome! You guys are excellent. :) (Also your friends are very funny)ReplyDelete
My favourites so far include:
What am I? A highland terrier? (Scout, you must tell me the context for this. And yes, you made my list as did Chrisann)
Chris: i did NOT say "pali what is that the name of a restaurant" tell me you're lying!
??!: Noodle nose? Heh.
perakath: i lost a camera once, but complaining got me nowhere. And it's doyouwannafess.blogspot.com
Other people's text messages are such fun! :)
Ptolomy pigeon. With a silent P.ReplyDelete
Which one are you again?
I'm busy your jobless. you grab paper.
You're not up by any miracle are you?
Foregin film dinner, and maybe sex, IF you're up for it.
I can't go thorugh 3000 messages.. forget it. God I miss the days when cell phones were green.
this is fun :)ReplyDelete
1.Wondering what you're doing? Imagining you're upto no good!
2. Darling, go ahead take advantage of some impressionable older men tonight :)
4.where are you? I am comign to your town
5. I'm sleeping tonight
6.Take care, you might catch that Singaporean disease
7. Sometimes I say stupid things like deserting you on an island, but you should know I would never do that. Except maybe if polar bears attack.
8. Is it living?
9. people are saying I am walking fast. its all your fault
Oho. Have just got new phone so I lost many messages, and all the recent ones are boring Diwali wishes.ReplyDelete
But I'm glad that you appreciate the solidarity of us all being shiny that night, and not laughing.
Okay, got some:ReplyDelete
1. What was that vegetable curry thing your sister ordered that day at Sagar?
2. We talk such shit!
3. Stop acting pricey and pick up your phone bitch! Too much sex is not good for you...
4. Remember, you're a God and They Are Not. And you have eagles, beagles, aloos and regals. Good luck...
5. Hi m niz. How u pipy.
6. Rise and shine sleepy b-man!
7. Bhagte bhoot ki langoti.
bhagte bhoot ki langoti? :)ReplyDelete
and oh, i love our brudder in law. ishaaaaaan, i love you for sending me sweet emails. now if only the amazon was as lovingful.
also, aesa, is WHAT living? :)
I'm still trying to figure that one out.
U get 67 comments on ur previous post and u're complaining that nobody comments anymore? The last post is really good - what I like best that is that you write it I can see it!ReplyDelete
about austrian radio... well, i don't remember much because i wasn't in the kitchen when it came, but i think they said something about indian women who are not supposed to talk about their sex life and your blog being very unusual... somethink like that, and they mentioned the URL and have a link on their homepage. i tried to download the whole thing, but i only could get a short extract from another part of the emission, so i'm a bit sorry that i can't say more :)ReplyDelete
and a funny sms... got only one from christmas... i'm trying to translate it, but it's loosing the rhyme... anyway...
I saw the Christ Child (it's somethink like Santa Clause here). It stood at the bar and could barely stand. You don't have to hope for presents, it drank all the money away. Merry Christmas!
well, i don't have other funnies... i usually keep the sad and touching stuff...
H Em,Hapy Birthday..U r the sign of current "Alpha Women"....Take it and ate as much as u desire ...thts ur blogs watchword?...I can tell u"If u want to SUCKseed go on Sucking till get SUCK-SEED".....Whts ur "Sign"?...mail me...If u bore Mumbai..I can place u a good place if u got ttoo much anoyance from Daily-Milma-Fuckrs...ReplyDelete
I like this post! ALtho i just deleted a load os smses yesterday, i managed to get a few decent ones...ReplyDelete
1) Are you trying to ensure that you never get any ass for the rest of your life? (this is neha reacting to my facebook album)
2) what rubbish..this whole fucking city is dead coz of the bandh. There's no way I'm gonna get beer..that too on the very DAY i start drinking alone.
3) I love you guys!! cc: my favoirite (sic) bastard rapist and favourite date rape drug provider :p
4) shats I'm all senti and all...WTF?!! Just one bandh and some beer after a 5KM walk and I'm a softie and all. I'm gonna abuse and use bad words.. 'motherfucking mosquitoes' & 'COPIOUS' :P
(2, 3 & 4 were sent in a sequence by my friend in calcutta who has now resorted to drinking alone... i'm not actually a bastard rapist...its just too long a story to type out)
5) Hey Iam in a super flashy local train...The seats and all look damn cool...The only thing that is unchanged is the superpacked crowd...With people standing rubbing each others assses :D
."sorry could'nt pick the fone. was getting a speeding ticket"ReplyDelete
2. "sorry i puked on ur shoes. i'll replace them if they r not ur maddens."
3. "did u saw the TV"
4. " I am so sad. i feel like killing my self. maybe you should die."
5. "i forgot my car at your place"
6. " i'd like to thank ur team for working hard and producing the design at such a short notice"
7. "i don't like the design"
6 &7 followed each other at a 15 minute interval .
all text converted from SMSese to english text.
1. Guess who's going to Hong Kong in the summer!ReplyDelete
2. Ladkiyo ko pange lete sharam nahi aati to thappad khane me sharam kyo?
3. "The trouble with wanting something is the fear of losing it, or never getting it. The thought makes you weak."
"There are no choices. Nothing but a straight line. The illusion comes afterwards, when you ask 'Why me?' and 'What if'?. When you look back and see the branches, like a pruned bonsai tree, or forked lightning. If you had done something differently, it wouldn't be you, it would be someone else looking back, asking a different set of questions."
"There are things in life you cannot choose. How you feel is one of them."
- Just some random quotes for the moment.
4. Roooomieee! dats brilliant! Seriously awesum stf! Always new ud do wel..dam proud o u fr stayn so calm unlyk evry1! Gud gud.. big treat due!
5. You and I have memories that are longer than the road ahead. Goodbye.
I dont comment a lot, but prefer lurking... I just loved the "laudae ke baal" it's on my fav swear list now.......ReplyDelete
me to juvenile bf (referrin to a remote controlled car): there is a toy in my room for u to play with?
juvenile bf: is it living?
Eh, I'm compiling from text messages, Facebook messages, and GTalk:ReplyDelete
1. Beta, have a roti.
2. we're playing scrabble on facebook, and saath mein talking on msn, and I said something referring to myself in third person (I tend to do that), to which she said she is neither [X] nor shimlamirch boy.
3. Really, what do you take me for?
(Maya, please don't kill me for revealing 2 and 3.)
4. Dikhaao dikhaao. Khoon niklla?
5. Baby, I love you. This much: ho jo bo ro lo.
(From The Person, to me.)
6. p.s. I do NOT have a wall anymore, just so u know. these
two kids were raping the hell out of it. :((
7. Did I mention I'm vastly amused you belong to a Facebook group called Boobs? I'm dying to join.
8. Ei, I have decided je aami tomaar premer oshaanto shagorey ekti hangla haangor.
(Translated: Hey, I have decided that I am a hungry shark in the unruly seas of your love.)
Oh, also, w.r.t. the laudae ka baal, an oft-used swear phrase when I was in high school was jhaant ka baal. Somewhat confusing, since jhaant = pubic hair anyway. :-/ReplyDelete
Oh, and some more, because clearly I have way too much free time on my hands while I'm at work. Round two of texts, FB, and GTalk:ReplyDelete
1. Looking up sanskrit roots makes me horny. Is that normal?
2. Hot Dhruv pictures, I cannot promise. I got the camera only last week, and I specifically ordered the pornless flash memory. Maybe I can downgrade.
3. Plus, the damn car belonged to some chimney-sweep of a chickie. It's full of smoke. Argh.
4. Thanks for having all of us over last night. We had a great time.
I have one question for you completely unrelated to anything, spare my curiosity. I've heard
about the fall of Vajpayee's government in India. I also know that the Gandhi dynasty was
really attractive to a lot of voters as the new alternative.
That said, do you feel that the new government will lead India toward a better vision? Or do you feel that a senior statesman like Vajpayee was better suited to lead your country.
No rush to reply. I'm just curious to get your take on Indian politics.
5. Ger min-duh vazz diffaani dwisted- she goat a mezhseddiss bens - Uhhh, she goat a loat of prrrretti prrretti buoys, that-uh she coals frunds...
6. Why does he want me to say goat?
7. i cry myself to sleep *every* nite because i am underpresented and underappreciated.
SS: NOW ITDS ONLYT IN CAPSA
AP: press caps lock dipshit
SS: I WASNT SMALL LEETERS
AP: ok then press caps lock
SS: thjis is funny
SS: thje shifty butrton has an arrowpointung to the capsloxk
SS: verty convenient.,
1. You Self Righteous B.ReplyDelete
2. B stands for any suitable word beginning with b that you may assign to yourself.
3."U r lookin nice" (this one cracks me up. my technologically challenged mom sent it to me after passing me on her way home)
4.Dude.hot Hot HOT fucking dress you're wearing. And this isn't the beer. (Not ma, no.)
5.Nish did you know Shahrukh Khan has a bono
6.Don't wait for me. Move on. We can never be together.
7.My brain is swarming with maggotses.
haha...you are fun :)
1. just put vicks and was immediately reminded of you. hugs.ReplyDelete
2. Yay! I wish i could say no pressure, but that would be a lie. MY HEART WILL BREAK IF YOU DON'T COME!
3. Elizabeth: the royal booty call
4. hello. have decided after much cogitation that we shall ditch you.
5. Want to call me now? I am discredited as usual.
6. French woman gone walkabout.
enough. you've unleashed something here.
heh i luv the xtra prayers to colton's vajayjay. i shall pray to the gods of percoset and hydrocodone. it is my solemn vow.ReplyDelete
your hot desi boy just came in with his uber white fiance. i will throw a pen at her for you.
so im at this italian restaurant and they just gave me a plate of leaves and one random slice of stale tomato. wtf? i didnt order it and if theyre gonna give you free stuff why not the tiramisu?
1. Gnaarrr!!! Why am I awaaake? And now I can't go back to sleep *sob* why must I leave these white linens and fluffy pillows..you bastard.ReplyDelete
2. Immanuel Kant was a real pissant who was rarely stable; Heidegger Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could drink you under the table; and Socrates himself is particularly missed...a lovely little thinker but a bugger when hes pissed.
3. My hovercraft is full of eels.
4. Accident takes minute but suffering last for lifetime. Plz wier (sic) condom & Helmet on ur appropriate heads during Respective Driving....
5. Argh...go find somebody else's brain to drop disturbing pictures in, you sadistic bastard.
6. Sir, after 8 pm DHL will not except (sic) any pocket (sic).
7. You, and sing? That should be a lark....forgive me if I giggle all through your serenade... (my lovelife adviser reposes immense faith in me, as is evident)
8. Get ur arse ovr here NOW...there r ppl here doing bhangra to metal....ROFLMAO.
9. Is the booze with you.....OR DID YOU LEAVE IT IN THE CAR????!!
10. She's still around?! Flush her, spoiling her father's name! Wat u doing dere this late anyway?
11. So...I'm a "caveot emptor" now, is it?
eM and all the others .. kewl msges, some are cute while some are funny... my list .. nah nah!, so I am here to onli praise the other comments :)ReplyDelete
V have finalized dis place..sm wrk remainin in da loo nd kitchen..we will shit(sic) next month only.ReplyDelete
Aw, it's all interactive-y! Just like I wanted! Yay! You guys completely rock.ReplyDelete
curlygirlie: i meant no one comments on the actual post CONTENT, just randomly snark about how terrible i am.
butterfly: thank you! and yeah, most of my messages are the sentimental kind, saved from one boyfriend or the other. these ones though, on my post, are ALL friends. :)
thebin: was this a text from your phone? the 'dear eM' threw me off a little bit. oh wait, no it wasn't. um.. my birthday is next month, but thanks anyhow.
arjun: there's a super flashy local train? I haven't been on one! The discrimination!
(but here i have to pause and have an orgasm again about the MOST INCREDIBLE shoes i saw yesterday and they were beautiful and I want them, only they cost like 6k and i'm not the girl who pays 6k for shoes, even though it broke my heart to leave them there.)
jasmine: "You and I have memories that are longer than the road ahead. Goodbye." awwwwwwwwww.. break up text? :(
max da vinci: all credits to chrisann and sameer. take a bow, guys.
aesa: ah. :) i heart remote control cars.
zrs: so someone brung on the facebook, eh? i was waiting for that to happen! my own wall is full of brilliancies, but i resisted. my favourite: "Hot Dhruv pictures, I cannot promise. I got the camera only last week, and I specifically ordered the pornless flash memory. Maybe I can downgrade" with sanskrit roots coming in a close second. :)
sine: of course, what we all want to know now is where you were going in this hot hot dress that even your mother loved? :)
wendigo: your "no pressure" text made me wonder whether i secretly know you.
pri: in this world, you should know, there's no such thing as free tiramisu, sadly.
now i want tiramisu. DAMN YOU!
mistercrowley: while all your messages are intriguing, the one i MOST want to know the back story for is #10. so please to be providing.
scribbley: i'm having fun too. :)
mohit: my phone dictionary can't spell shit at first go, even though i've programmed it so it goes to shiv. oddly, it can spell zenzi with ease. hmmm.
@ eM: the story behind # 10? hehehe....this particular text was a response from a gulti pal (diehard chiranjeev fan) when I told him Chiru-gaaru's runaway daughter and son-in-law were sitting in Blues around midnight and making out...(when they finally realised that, this being Delhi,nobody gave a mickey about Chiru, much less his elopee brat) ;)ReplyDelete
hehehe min's I have the text to prove it...I have 3550 texts on my phoneReplyDelete
bloody wonder it still functions...
I will bow
but it's sameer's creative genius or trash mouth whichever way you'd like to look at it...
I recognized one of my messages in that list... hahahhahahahah!!
Deyamm, didn't do the interactive thing. Here goes (only the partially interesting ones, though none are as interesting as yours!)ReplyDelete
** How's my pp? Like your pom-pom :-)
** And I do think you're hot. Kasam se
** You have honesty bharpoor!
** Making my way through the snow to work! freezing, xxx
** Just saw Van Wilder 2, the dog name was ... you guessed it!!! Thought of you
** Who else appreciated the banruh accent except someone from dasside?
"Hi. I am Sahana. Life is high because it is meant to be so. Okbye"ReplyDelete
Sent by a friend who was sitting next to me.
"Pyak pyak pyak pyak batak urala, konacha ghar ge la?"
hey! nice blog..wanna xchange links??? i've added you anyway...ReplyDelete
1.God, then i missed some adult-viewing!i told mustee about the techno butt shaking rib breaking "jhoom barabar", and we couldnt stop laughing.ReplyDelete
2.still ill.without sleaves.
3.thanks, atleast i know we have 3 fans.two if you exclude my mum.lol.
4.i cried.but i dont think she knew.quite snotty sniffles.lol.
5.instead of liquid pouring out(didnt even touch me)ending, think of alternate ending.
6.oh SHIT!i thought everyone knew it was chaand raat.
7.mind your language.is it mating season?
8.you emotional pimp.
9.i'm not opening the door till you're nice to me.
10.liar!my cat hates you!
11.will tell you the story on chat or smthng.and sikander will be the stripper at my girls night.
12.why dont activist chicks wax?or use deodorant for that matter.
1) I'm sorry, I'm completely blown, went drinkin wy mates. happy birthda. miss yet. call wed zoomutor.ReplyDelete
2) dear god.. i'm hearing abt bloody foundation and makeup for weddings... i'm going nuts!! my testosterone levels are taking a hit.
3)viva tiki puka puka!!!
(Note: TPP is a tiki drink. 7 parts rum, 1 part cranberry juice. Comes in a bowl with a large gardenia floating in it. This sms came shortly after said drink was consumed.)
4) a woman in indonesia married 25 times before she found the love of her life (who's 22 years old).. she's 90
5) Guy next to me has butterfly undies
6) kate hudson suggests pole dancing to improve self esteem... see, i always have your best interests at heart... always
Haha!! this is a lot of fun...been a long time reader...tempted to post some of my msgs too..ReplyDelete
*we are being maligned very badly today
*Haan, it sounds quite unreasonable, dont accept this kind of behavior
*thot for the day : lying increases the creative faculties, expands the ego, and lessens the friction of social contacts :) amen
*And your throat?
*But of course. And by that, she ensures i will be der, come what may
*I'm 27 u know. Not some hormonally charged 24 yr old. I missed the look of distaste on your face seeing chuda toting jeans clad brides
ha ha ha!ReplyDelete
this is fun! ok heres what i got today...
" Never credit any of your friends with the really funny SMS's they send you...
Just think about it...
Saala, haraami, Chepkali ke Jhant ke pasineey ki aakhari boond, Usko kisne bheja hoga?"
Hey, so I came across your blog and noticed that someone gave you a book deal (read about your blog in a newspaper). Do you have family or connections in the literary world? Because I can't understand why anyone would want to sign you up based on this. It's unbelievably silly, not to mention trite.ReplyDelete
interesting stuff...well written...way to go lady..ReplyDelete
heyyy, just stumbled across your blog, like it, and was curious to know how your parents and family feel about the book..i mean are they ok with the things you write about? they must have read your blog no?ReplyDelete
ok getting boring now. NEXT!ReplyDelete
but why are the last 4 comments anonymous?ReplyDelete
this is such fun and I am only 48 comments late :)ReplyDelete
1] dude, we have have have to go to the d new jimmu choo store bang opp my office and u have to but me shoes.
2]sex with me will be more interesting
3]flirt bk na
4]baby ur in my home turf. now behave. big hug
5]no, i am dressed like a servant
6]all my miseries past compare these atrocities u have to bear
7]whatsup, am having a 3some at my plc tmrow and dayafter, join us. am homealone for 2nights, drnk smoke up and have a blast.
[and theres a follow up to the 7th]
8] lemme know if u wanna come, will ask others accordingly
once again has the funniest smsReplyDelete
ooh, looks fun, i got some:ReplyDelete
1. ur account is way over the limit, u gotta start flashing me sometime soon. till then it's on temporary suspension
2. i khallased harry potter
3. im sorry, i only indulge in slavery when i know there are chains involved. get ur own damn books!
4. she dumped me! why do women keep doing that? my penis is big!
5. tell the boss its malaria or nemonia or 1 of those damn things that wont kill me.i need to get waxed and have sex
i'm in forum. bloody can't shit in my pg. so dirty. i love the loo in forum. nice feelin. u also try. 10 mts. no, 15 mts.ReplyDelete
From my seven year old phone, the best-of message history credits go to a single person. She reads your blog and will throw a hissy fit perhaps, but here goes:ReplyDelete
1. Lame. Going for walks in L shaped park. Sneaking fags in the balcony. Drowning out the howls of rabid dogs. Come back soon so we can party like its 1999.
2.You sharabi chuityas didn't let me sleep even. Salle haraami billu I will call you when you are both asleep and force you to talk.
3.I. Am. So. Fucking. Trashed
4.Come straight to the bar
PS: I am posting this because I almost feel obligated to, since I just failed an exam due to compulsively reading your blog all weekend.
you asked -ReplyDelete
1. we X and Y are thrilled to inform you of the birth of our baby at....
2. It's a girl! born at X pm. Wife had 37 hours of labour and hates me.
3. we've been blessed with a baby boy at....
i think you get the picture. and i think i need younger friends !