Lists I might have come up with weeks ago or made up right now to use as a writing device

Potential tattoos I could get to commemorate my twenties

'A Learning Experience'

'Drink More Water'

'Not A Good Idea'

'Yes, A Great Idea'

'Tattoos R Permanint'

Other names I came up with for my cat after the name TC already stuck and it was too late to change it but are so cool they make me want another kitten

Gingervitis

Bill E.

Deadline

Things my cellphone has said (or continues to say) in the middle of Serious Meetings making me wish I had changed the ringtone but which I never remember to change anyway leading to more awkward situations

"Would you go to bed with me?" (SIDE BAR: Actually a segue for the popular song at the time, viewed here, it's not so bad when you listen to the WHOLE SONG.)

"You have a message, Your Royal Sexiness"

"Hallelujah!"

"Oye message, message!"

This theme.

Some texts I got or sent that I liked and made into a draft post intended to post several, but could only find three so will make them a part of this post instead

"Creepy creep man next to me is very interested in your chesticles."

"There was once a Delhi where spontaneous plans were possible."

"Tulip? I can be a tulip."

"Have just had shower and he has friends visiting so I'm feeling too shy to emerge so sitting in closed bedroom texting you in attempt to look busy."

Ways not to react when someone tells you their dad plans on buying your book after having a nice civilised chat with you, unless you're aiming for strange looks from your companions

"Woot! Sale!"

Other things people will look at you strangely for

Changing into an outfit for a wedding in an airport bathroom and having to take your top off, standing in the middle of the bathroom with only your bra and jeans on as your sweaty fingers frantically try to unzip your party dress and pull it on BUT IT'S NOT HAPPENING GODDAMNIT and god knows how many people you flashed and HAS NO ONE EVER GONE TO A WEDDING FROM AN AIRPORT BEFORE?

Things you could potentially do in order to procrastinate some more

Buy new flat tall winter boots because you neeeeeeed them and it's coooooold and you have to be stylish OR ELSE.

Lie flat on your bed wondering if you perhaps use too many capital letters to make your point.

Tweet obsessively about something household related.

Go on Gchat and say "Hi!" to everyone with a green light near their names.

Do some spring cleaning.

Water your plants.

Follow links to more links to more links, convincing yourself it's all research in the end anyway.