I begin all angry and rant-y but then I walk the talk

Soooooo tonight I'm straight shooting from the hip, also in not a very good mood. I should be in an excellent mood--nice wine drunk (we named him Max), nice company--but then this ASSHOLE shows up, tagger on with friends and then proceeds to mouth off about all sorts of nonsense. To which I'm like okay, everyone deserves their own opinion. Then he recognises my name (wheee! sorry, it still pleases me) and then he's like (imagine this next bit all drunk and slurry) " I thought your book was shit." To which I'm still like, eh, can't please everyone. THEN in total overstepping of personal boundaries, he says, "Oh. you're not as sexy as I thought you would be." And then I think I spent the rest of the night trying not to cry from fury. Not that I care so much that he didn't think I was sexy--I'm a very your opinion is your opinion and mine is mine and live and let live etc and plus, I wasn't feeling very sexy anyway, and it's kinda a compliment to think your writing is sexier than you are. It was just the way he said it, this entitlement he felt he had, all BECAUSE I AM A MAN AND BECAUSE I AM THREATENED BY YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE YOUNGER AND A WOMAN and it was very not nice. Then later he weaves over and--I shit you not--pats me on the head and he's lucky he didn't lose his fingers, coz I would have bitten those mothers off. It was like seeing my Internet Troll with a face. Aargh. Depending on whose side you're on, you'll be happy/sad to know I didn't engage with him, but let him sit there, stewing in his own juices, just thankful I didn't know him in real life, and thankful I was me and not anyone else.

But you guys were nice and tonight, in post-Max stupor (we decided since wine had so much character we might as well name the bottle. It was a lovely Pinot Noir. Yeah, I watched Sideways too.) I'm going to answer questions one through five. (Don't worry, I will answer them all, just not in the same post.)

Question One asked by Rajvi: "how did you meet the love of your life?"

Well, the way you phrased it sort of threw me for a loop there. Where I can tell you, where is easy--we were both at a party, I was lonesoming by myself in a corner, batting away the stray boys who aimed towards me, asked me what I did and then turned it into a conversation about themselves, but this one, a bonafide cutie, all Jesus looking (but hotter) actually started talking to me about writing, how his favourite writers were Terry Pratchett and Oscar Wilde and before I knew it, my eyelashes were batting up at him and he was asking for my phone number and everything is awesome. (Except for the long distance, but then, no one likes long distance.)

How on the other hand, would require me to backtrack a little, go through my love life of the last four years, tell you how nothing really seemed to work for me. When I met JC, I was a little low, cynical as all hell, convinced that no one would really ever want to be with me and he treated me like I was special and perfect and now, almost two years later, you guys, I feel special and perfect. I feel cared for, I feel loved. And I am able to once again be the girlfriend I was at 20, giggly and playful, nurturing and considerate, knowing that I have his back and he has mine and we are a team, a TEAM, the two of us. It's brilliant. I recommend it highly; love.

Question two from Thresia: I like green eggs and ham. Do you want some green eggs and ham?

I'm not sure. I might be hungry, but, BUT, I have this new awesome cook and I've been eating most of my meals at home, which is a major achievement for me (not to mention much better for my figure) but I do like ham. Eggs, meh, not so much.

Question three from Yachna: So, do you miss delhi...how did life change from delhi to mumbai ?

I miss Delhi intensely right now. Winter is my most favourite season, and I love feeling the first nip in the air, the first night without the fan on, the first smell of mothball-y clothes, the smell of woodsmoke in the air, hot coffee and a cigarette. Things I love and I rarely experience anymore.

On the other hand, at 2.30 this morning, I lurched into a nearby auto rickshaw and made my way home alone. Good? Good.

I am more confident in Bombay, a Bombayite as much as I am a Dilliwaali. I know the streets of my neighbourhood, I wear a dress to casual Tuesday dinners, I can say "boss" with the best of them, and yet, I miss some things. I'm homesick for one city when I'm in another. I'm a nomad these days, based somewhere, heart somewhere else. Bombay turned my world around, but Delhi was where I learnt what a world was, so I'm really here and there.

Question four from Glox: What's your current FB status?

Ooh, easy question (good thing, considering it's nearly 4 am). Mine is inspired from the song Sweet Dreams (and on days when I'm lazy, my current status is just a song I've been humming) so it's eM travelled the world and the seven seas, everybody's looking for something.

And, inevitably, when you post a lyric as a status, one or more people will complete it for you, and they did.

And my last question for tonight from Lucie: what have you learnt in those 5 years? How much do you think one grows up in that time?

Oh boy. This is going to take some effort. Right.

Five years of blogging has been beyond wild. I went from random internet chick to not-so-random internet chick, which is pretty cool, considering I was only aiming for a higher random anyway. I received both bouquets and brickbats. I had some great validation for my writing from total strangers and I learnt how to tell the truth. (This is an important skill.)

But, mostly, I suppose, my blog has given me a certain amount of confidence. An internet persona is a wierd sort of thing to have as all my readers who blog will know. You're different when you have a keyboard, wiser, less prone to mistakes but also the editor of your own biography. THIS, in short, is my LIFE. I can see what's been going on for me, year to year, what I've been sad about, what I've been pissed about, even, sometimes, days when I've been drunk. I can see the graph of my life, the way it curves, the ups and the downs, and while it's an odd sort of feeling, having all that information out there, it's also poignant. My very first sentence on the internet, for instance, the one that goes: "First off, this was not what I was supposed to do. I am technically supposed to be working, but it's one of those days when all my work finished early and here I sit at 6 pm, trying desperately to look like I'm working... I'm a journalist, so typing is a good thing!" I look at it and I think, oh my, I used to have to justify what I did with my day, I used to want to please someone, anyone. And I also think awww, look how sweet I was! (Also, I seem to have eleven comments on that first post, to which I'm all WTF? I know I didn't have eleven comments when I began!)

I'm not making much sense anymore and I suppose I should go to bed. But, to answer the second half of the question, I think it's possible to grow up more in five years than your entire lifetime. I think Original eM, if told about Present eM's lifestyle and what the future held for her, would probably laugh and tell you that wasn't possible. 22 to 27. Just out of college to OMG I WROTE A BOOK AND PEOPLE HAVE READ IT! Jesus. Do you believe it? Is this just a dream? Am I there yet?

IMPORTANT UPDATE EDIT: A bunch of us are getting together and having a gigantic garage sale tomorrow (Sunday, Oct. 25) at Zenzi, Bandra from 1 pm to 5 pm. There will be cheap awesome things (clothes, books, accessories, shoes etc), and you should come. (All the brainchild of this brilliant blogger.) I'd come early, if I were you and bring change and shopping bags. Eeeeeeeeeeeee! So excited!