> Teach your cat martial arts moves and watch him fly across the room, Matrix style, his tail twisted, his claws outstretched.
> Discover the various merits and demerits of Indian cheese spread. I now recommend Amul's Garlic flavoured spread, with Brittania's cream crackers. That's been like breakfast, lunch and dinner for me recently.
> Think of ways to do away with the noisy loudspeakers outside your house, personal favourites include filling water balloons with boiling hot water so both loudspeaker and person utilising said loudspeaker are destroyed forever. Muahahahaha.. um, you're still here?
> Convince yourself into believing that relationships with expiry dates are really the way to go, because it's so easy and stress free and user friendly.
> Do a pretty good job with the convincing.
> Argue with your writers group online, in Delhi, where you should really not be arguing and just be grateful that you're still on the mailing list at all, about letting someone else join. (Hi! Still totally deeply grateful! Don't delete me!)
> Start reading Sacred Games again, and this time actually follow the plot.
> Go for friend's housewarming party and admire his beautiful new house, especially the huge full-length mirror that came with it and has (wait for it) a SPOTLIGHT on top to illuminate you. Sigh. Such a waste on a boy.
> Go out with Pieces and her friends and drink many shots and demonstrate to her the correct way to stick your finger down your throat over the pot, thereby earning her lifelong gratitude.
> Drive in Bombay during the DAY. To get your car system fixed. And, not so bad. Could be better, but not as terrible as I anticipated. I love expecting the worst, you're either constantly being proved right or being pleasantly surprised. (As much as I would like to take credit for that line, I think I read it in a Reader's Digest once.)
> Go for Eragon. And wonder why you just wasted two hours of your life. And remember it was written by a 15-year-old and wonder why you are surprised that it is derivative crap.
> Remember you have drive during the day again, because even though they fixed your system and charged you a grand, the speakers are now not working. Fill yourself with a sense of impending doom.
> Lech at hot firangs at train stations. Demurely look away and hold your book invitingly to your chest so he can see how well-read you are, and start a conversation. Almost miss your train.
My week. Yours?