17 April 2007

Why blog when you can..

> Teach your cat martial arts moves and watch him fly across the room, Matrix style, his tail twisted, his claws outstretched.

> Discover the various merits and demerits of Indian cheese spread. I now recommend Amul's Garlic flavoured spread, with Brittania's cream crackers. That's been like breakfast, lunch and dinner for me recently.

> Think of ways to do away with the noisy loudspeakers outside your house, personal favourites include filling water balloons with boiling hot water so both loudspeaker and person utilising said loudspeaker are destroyed forever. Muahahahaha.. um, you're still here?

> Convince yourself into believing that relationships with expiry dates are really the way to go, because it's so easy and stress free and user friendly.

> Do a pretty good job with the convincing.

> Argue with your writers group online, in Delhi, where you should really not be arguing and just be grateful that you're still on the mailing list at all, about letting someone else join. (Hi! Still totally deeply grateful! Don't delete me!)

> Start reading Sacred Games again, and this time actually follow the plot.

> Go for friend's housewarming party and admire his beautiful new house, especially the huge full-length mirror that came with it and has (wait for it) a SPOTLIGHT on top to illuminate you. Sigh. Such a waste on a boy.

> Go out with Pieces and her friends and drink many shots and demonstrate to her the correct way to stick your finger down your throat over the pot, thereby earning her lifelong gratitude.

> Drive in Bombay during the DAY. To get your car system fixed. And, not so bad. Could be better, but not as terrible as I anticipated. I love expecting the worst, you're either constantly being proved right or being pleasantly surprised. (As much as I would like to take credit for that line, I think I read it in a Reader's Digest once.)

> Go for Eragon. And wonder why you just wasted two hours of your life. And remember it was written by a 15-year-old and wonder why you are surprised that it is derivative crap.

> Remember you have drive during the day again, because even though they fixed your system and charged you a grand, the speakers are now not working. Fill yourself with a sense of impending doom.

> Lech at hot firangs at train stations. Demurely look away and hold your book invitingly to your chest so he can see how well-read you are, and start a conversation. Almost miss your train.


My week. Yours?

17 comments:

  1. hai hai
    remind me to feed you
    when you come over on friday

    ReplyDelete
  2. Mon: Go to work and stare at the PC thinking about how you are in the wrong profession
    Tue: Go to work and stare at the PC thinking about how you are in the wrong profession
    Wed: Go to work and stare at the PC thinking about how you are in the wrong profession
    Thu: Go to work and stare at the PC thinking about how you are in the wrong profession
    Fri: Go to work and stare at the PC thinking about how you are in the wrong profession
    Sat and Sun: Be thankful that for once you can do something that you want to do -- Surf the internet in the day time and get drunk during the night!

    I'd take your life any day...

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  3. I've lived in Bombay for 24 years and never once come across a hot firang at a train station. Downside of being a a "townie" I guess!

    ReplyDelete
  4. my first comment-discovered your blog 8 days ago...have to tell you that your blog has me spell bound..you by far are the one of the best young writers that I've come across....makes for great reading..thank you! and interstingly enough we've met!!

    Spacemanspiff

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  5. Why blog when you can...

    Obsessively check the blogs you read every day and get mildly annoyed that they haven't updated

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  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  7. I really cannot believe that you have Babyji up as part of your library! That's practically telling people to read it. I really thought it was utter crap.

    Btw, I think it's sort of pointless to link to my journal since it's been friends-locked for a while now.

    Your week sounds interesting. Mine involved a lot of rain and sitting around in my office wishing it had some form of ventilation.

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  8. onvince yourself into believing that relationships with expiry dates are really the way to go, because it's so easy and stress free and user friendly.

    they are, you know. though i've been trying to convince myself that longtime as well. once you succeed, life becomes (apparently) a smooth ride from then on. that's a hope worth hoping, no?

    and ooh you got a librarythings account! and i've got 15 books common with you as well! (more ooh... lol)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Went to Times Global Village and molested the mascots

    Bought a dartboard and Coke bottle 'hit-me' to relieve frustration when office rafting trip was canned

    scored maal

    went drinking yesterday to schmancy poolside bar, stripped to boxers but was immediately surrounded by bollocksy waiters protesting 'nudity'

    oohhh my head

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  10. barring the weekend the five days of the week are best encapsulated by a five-letter, presently life-defining word: ennui.

    sigh..... now that yours sounds any better.

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  11. TCs...well read...media industry...kahin tum bong to nahi? :-)

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  12. eragon sucked so bad, mit was disturbing to me that the female of all species have emotional issues.

    in the next installment i've heard the dragon and that other stick-thin chick get into an all out brawl over the rider....
    dragon-princess fetish lovers rejoice!

    ReplyDelete
  13. What do you mean by:
    demonstrate to her the correct way to stick your finger down your throat over the pot

    Why did your friend need to throw up?
    Please reply,

    - Curious in Canterbury

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hmm..I WILL try the baloons with hot water solution, though, it might work in Mumbai, Delhi is another story altogether. Hmm..but I think I'll try it.

    Btw (slight detail)..Did the baloon not vamoosh when u filled it with water?

    ReplyDelete
  15. if he's a firang, he's necessarily well-read? what a complex you have!! clearly have spent v little time outside india...

    ReplyDelete

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