My latest book is The One Who Swam With The Fishes.

"A mesmerizing account of the well-known story of Matsyagandha ... and her transformation from fisherman’s daughter to Satyavati, Santanu’s royal consort and the Mother/Progenitor of the Kuru clan." - Hindustan Times

"Themes of fate, morality and power overlay a subtle and essential feminism to make this lyrical book a must-read. If this is Madhavan’s first book in the Girls from the Mahabharata series, there is much to look forward to in the months to come." - Open Magazine

"A gleeful dollop of Blytonian magic ... Reddy Madhavan is also able to tackle some fairly sensitive subjects such as identity, the love of and karmic ties with parents, adoption, the first sexual encounter, loneliness, and my favourite, feminist rage." - Scroll



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16 June 2009

The New Tuesday Rant Post

Things to know:

*yes, every Tuesday, I will vent my spleen about things that annoy me.
* you probably should NOT visit if you a) object to swearing and b) are easily offended
* if you're not any of the above things, you are welcome to vent also in the comments section.
*ADULT discussions are encouraged, anything along the lines of "Waaaaaaaah, you took my blankie!" will be ignored.

Right now that THAT'S done. Let's go right into it.

> Delivery people in this city are mindblowingly incompetent. Remember back when I said what I loved about Bombay was all the stuff you could get delivered to your house? Well, it turns out you CAN get everything delivered to your house, if you're prepared to wait three fucking hours. Seriously. On my shit list are Maroosh (dudes promised me my food at 8.45, it wound up arriving at 12.30, after the delivery guy had taken MY order to another house and then left for the day and I had to reorder. At midnight.) and Table Of Contents (from the promised time of 3.45 to FINALLY at 5.15 where the food was inedible. They did comp it though, so SMALL window of forgiveness. But it's safe to say I'm never ordering in from them again.) And I know that each time I call to ask about my order, the stock answer is, "Madam, the delivery boy's just left." Just left. Right. He's probably walking backwards to get here, in that case.

> Stupid people piss me off. There are just SO MANY of them recently. They're everywhere. They ask stupid questions, they're in my fucking FACE with their stupid questions, they're in my INBOX with their stupid questions. Example? You want an example? I'll give you an example:

No hi's and hellos let me come straight to the point. Before coming to what i wanted to tell let me tell you, 'i hate you'. No, wait don't go away this isn't a hate mail. Just wanted to make you know i am not an admirer of yours plainly because i love reading better stuffs.
I have seen you have a huge fan following at blogspot. If you get to see mine (REMOVED BECAUSE I'M NOT SENDING YOU ANY FUCKING TRAFFIC) you will have hard time hitting spider webs... :-( ..i spent ages to write something and no one checks it out even if i compel them. I feel dejected. can u please please do me a favor by posting some comments. i dont mind even if you comment - "what the fuck is this?" or "how plane stupid is this!!"
Well...99% i no you'll leave this but i bet in the rest 1%. I recco u to read COLLEGE DIARIES my first post (which is found at the end of the blog) if u have decided to kill 5 min f ur life to this useful idiot here.


Let me tell you what's wrong with this email. What's wrong with this email is a) when you write someone FOR A FAVOUR, you do not begin it with "I am not an admirer of yours" and b) you do not then go on to beg this person--whom you've made it very clear, you're NOT an admirer of, to send you some traffic. Jesus. Talk about deluded.

I'm not asking you to kiss my ass here, but it just seems to me to be plain ol' common sense that when you REQUEST someone to do something, you do it nicely. It's one of the first things you learn, for fuck's sake.

Also? The reason no one is reading your blog is because you're stupid.

PS: Plane = a flying machine/ a thing used to even out woodwork.


Okay, I might be done for now. Check back later today for more updates--if you haven't had enough already.

47 comments:

  1. u sure are spewing venom here, em..and rightly so:)

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  2. Hahahahah....

    Sorry just HAD to laugh before I imploded :P That last guy is a true gem.

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  3. you are surely spewing red hot and plain anger.But take it easy, one always find such species of morons, they are so much there everywhere.

    This bugger is plain jealous of your success.Let him burn in jealousy. Ciao, :))

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  4. please link his blog, after this the poor bastard will get a mouthful!

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  5. OK... breathe... concentrate on the tips of your fingers... breathe in breathe out... calm down...

    Actually... no... after long you sound like the Em of old... I am happy... Glee :-D

    And you should have put the poor chaps link here... I am sure everyone wants to read better "stuffs"

    And we could all go and comment "what the fuck is this?" That would make him happy...

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  6. Khudda kasam potti aag bars rahi hain. :) I too get pissed off by this kinda incidents.

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  7. Oh too good ;)

    i can only imagine how good you must have felt after posting this :)

    way to go!

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  8. EM is back....yeah :)
    What I cannot miss is that he had a whole marketing plan in place dude...like a launch with eM's comment...followed by traffic...then negative PR and then wooohooo he becomes blogspot's favourite! So lame!!!

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  9. Em, that's not a rant. It's a very mellow reaction. Come the heck on, let's hear the woman roar!

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  10. the second one was spooky. but laughable. and OMG the spelling and grammer. thats what bugs me first and foremost. :| and there and so many in that category.

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  11. Damn what would I give to read the guy's blog! Especially his views on his COLLEGE DAYS.

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  12. okay. i have a rant to add. even though it can not be fixed. what is with the weather dude? can it not like follow some set patterns.

    like rain in the months it is supposed to rain. and not just dry up on us, and leave us feeling like frikking delhi style industrial heaters.

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  13. tch tch... the heat is ON...literally. Funny mails you get.

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  14. eM is back, and kicking ass

    *air fist*

    Lady, you rock.

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  15. second one sounds like psycho with millisecond mood fluctuations. Ha ha ha..don't be surprised if he lands up at your place and starts requesting you to send some reader traffic his way! :)

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  16. Hee-larious :). The guy could certainly use some traffic that teaches him grammar. Or maybe direct him to this post ? :)

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  17. @smalltown_girl: Really, OMG the spelling and gramm'e'r!! I guess that "bugs me first and foremost" as well, and hence the comment :P.

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  18. some venting of that spleen indeed, that.

    I laughed through that email; but I can understand how irritating that would have been.

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  19. After a long wait...Inner Feelings again flown out splashy to email buggers..

    Very aggressive attack as it goes old_young_trent_setter_life...

    Best wishes to all

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  20. After a long wait...Inner Feelings again flown out splashy to email buggers..

    Very aggressive attack as it goes old_young_trent_setter_life...

    Best wishes to all

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  21. hahaha....that was so refreshing...loved it...i know i shudnt be , but iam hoping you have further bad experiences so that i can get to read a tuesday vent....loved it!!

    clap.. clap!

    btw, any chance of giving me that guys link...so fucking curious...

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  22. Bwahahahahahah. Don't you just love hate mail? ;) It's plane entertaining.

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  23. Hehehe.... That was too hilarious! I wonder what he was thinking? N i totally get that about late delivery. We got free pizzas from Dominoes coz of that TWICE. Unfortunately, the cold pizzas weren't really worth it.

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  24. ha ha ha ha..he needs to know that there is only one amitabh bachchan and he is in TV not in reality :) and he too cant speak shit like this, the fault is of the script writers...how can someone be arrogant and a beggar at the same time

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  25. Completely agree with the delivery thing. But also agree that most of the deliverers (is that a real word) are morons. Or just plain incompetent. Two different grocers didn't deliver to our place on time and the third one turned up drunk!

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  26. This guy surely got on your nerves..being a famous blogger can be tough

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  27. Totally unrelated to your post comment:
    I tend to browse through a lot of blogs, ezines, news websites, etc....so I've seen my fair share of good and bad comments to these posts.
    But.....
    the commenters on your blog are my favorite group. Have you noticed how well they (most of them at least) write/get their ideas across? Things like "spewing venom", "lady, you rock", "venting of that spleen" are so much fun to read...and can only be found on your blog.
    So...here's to your commenters :)

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  28. just just what i needed today!
    yeahhh-hh!

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  29. lol...
    v funny post...
    so i guess tuesday's the day when you're pissed of with the world, & everything sucks BIG TIME.
    its okay, u'll recover & the world will be "plane" funny again!
    Cheers! ;)

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  30. Funny post!
    But you are lucky... at least you didnt get hate mail in Russian!
    I had to use google translate to get a good laugh!! :D

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  31. Main Entry: plane
    Part of Speech: adjective
    Definition: level, horizontal
    Synonyms: even, flat, flush, plain, planate, regular, smooth, uniform
    Notes: plane is essentially the same word as plain, both ultimately coming from Latin planus 'flat' or 'clear'
    Antonyms: upright, vertical

    This time aroud this guy was not a jackass ! By Fluke i.e

    Good one there !

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  32. Delivery boys everywhere are same, and the persons at the other end of the telephone line too. I've had a few spats with Pizza Hut here in Delhi, and have almost decided to stop using them.

    @smalltown_girl, secondsight & who: Pleased to find company. I used to think that I'm probably the only one hung up on grammar & language (perhaps thanks to the 'SMS-generation). I'm fighting a losing battle with even prestigious publications like Economic Times (they don't even put online my rants), where the proofreaders have long forgotten the difference between its & it's.

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  33. lol! Em, that guy/girl whoever it was, is sure stupid, and desperate. Nice post! Hope he/she reads it. :P

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  34. I live in NYC. I can NOT bitch enough about delivery people. let's not talk about how they almost run your ass over in the cross walk. Let's talk about them actually doing their job.

    IF they find the right apartment building (which is 50-50), the next feat is finding the right apartment number to ring (which is again 50-50). If a miracle happens and they do both correctly, you are given a window from 9am until "end of day" which could be as late as 10 or 11pm--in other words, as late as they damn well please.

    And let's not get me started about stupid people. Let's not just talk about the morons. Let's also talk about the people who should be smart but aren't (like lawyers and bankers and supervisors, etc.). And what about the people who are book smart but are so street-dumb you're surprised they don't drown when it rains and I don't mean a flash flood thunder storm. I mean a light spring shower.

    I met an attorney at a large firm making 6 figures who did not know where the U.S. was on a global map (and he was born and raised in AMERICA!!). You don't believe me? Trust me, I wish I didn't believe me either. Then I might have more faith in humanity.

    www.lawshucks.com/laidoffdiary

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  35. Like you were taught before the Board exams... Do not forget to read the instructions on the top! And the last one is to be specially heeded to. :D So all I'll say that fortunately I have never had it so bad with Delivery boys! Ha! Adult enough!?!
    Also the fact that I feel a lil bad for whoever wrote you that mail. A very very lonely soul. Very guilty about it too. All that is just false bravado to hide an utterly vulnerable core. :) I hope you'll just forgive. Have a good week ahead. :)

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  36. hahahhaha this is hilarious. i love it, the rant, that is.

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  37. Your post reminds me of a profile I happended to drop by at Myspace. The fellow says (shamelessly!) that he's a poor fellow and would be happy if people donate him a few bucks.

    A hitech begging, isn't it?

    Thanks.
    Nanda

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  38. lol! Link this guy. I'd love some entertainment

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  39. tuesday rants rock.I'm going to rant about how we didnt get to meet in Bombay last week.

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  40. It's hard to believe that someone can be SO STUPID.. haha... but then he gave your readers something to laugh at ;)

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  41. just post the link to the poor bastard's page...i need to make sure that such a person exists...

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  42. Whoa! How did I miss this? Does get to me too when people ask you for a favour and ask for it as if that's a favour they're doing, if you know what I mean, but this one is such a wannabe beggar :P

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  43. haha i love this :)
    This Rant made my day .. seriously :)

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  44. Yikes...how stupid..well not stupid but rather psychotic..and irritating...
    Anyhow all kinds make the world but I guess we can do without such kinds...

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