4 November 2004

The Single Girl's Alphabet

Aaah is for the Aah-may-zing you say about yummy young men
Beee is for be right back when you sashay away to the ladies room
Cee is for cee you around sometime when you have no intention of calling them
Dee is for former-roommate/soul sister/person to whom you confess things you don't even MENTION in your blog
Eeeee is for the sound you make when you discover you're promoted
Efff is for fuckwittage, the gentle art all men know so well
Gee is for gal pals, the only sane things in an insane world
Aitch is for Hold me, which shows through in your eyes
I is for me, and for this blog
Jay is for Jason, the utterly-butterly delicious dance instructor with an ass and abs to die for, but who unfortunately only sees you when you're hot and sweaty and make-up less and not in a sexy way either
K is for K, the destructor of all possible future relationships because his ghost is always around
Elll is for lurveeeeeeee, the word you're always going to be too scared to say
eM is for Moneeeeeeeee, which you want more, need more or should carry around on dates
En is for envy, whenever you spot someone who looks happy and peaceful (or has straigh hair, take your pick)
Oh is for Ohs, which I'm really not going into detail about!
Pee is for pee which usually has to happen right in the middle of drinking and flirting making you have to start all over again from the very beginning.
Q is for questions like why hasn't he emailed/called/texted? or will he think I'm easy if I kiss him before he kisses me?
Arrr is for aargh, which is what my neutral mood is set at these days
Ess is for sex, the most complicated word in the English language
Tee is for t-shirts--the tighter, the shorter, the better
U is for YOU but you should never use this abbreviation in sms's or emails. I mean for Christ's sakes, is it so hard to type in y.o.u.? Say it with me: Y.O.U.
V is a wierd way of saying we as in "We would be happy if you came with us" and "We're planning to get married" so it technically shouldn't be in the Single Girl's Alphabet
X is for exes, the worst species on the planet. Best avoided if sighted
Y is for why. Eg: Why are men such bastards? Why is the sky blue? Y is also for yummy
Zed is for nothing really, even if you pronounce it zee

Now I know my abc, won't you sing along with me?

I had fun writing this :)


5 comments:

  1. Your blog cheered me up in what seemed like the end of the world(for the next four years at least) to me.....keep it coming!

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  2. this is AWESOME!!!! absolutely fantabulous.. you rock, gurl!!! :)

    did M call/sms/mail you btw?

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  3. Sunrayz: I'm glad the blog cheered you up.. as you can see form my newly updated profile I'm not going to blog about 'You-Know-What'.. ignorance is the best policy

    Hima: I'm ashamed to say, I emailed first, but he did reply almost immediatly! More on that in the next post!

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  4. "Aww!!" (for the Dee-fintion)
    "Tut tut" (for missing W altogether)
    *gasp* (for destructor instead of destroyer, and thinking that you work in publishing...:)
    and *waggly finger* for having mailed M(otu) first :)
    yippee for T1's at home!!!
    love.

    ReplyDelete

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