1 May 2006

She likes the free, fresh wind in her hair, life without care, she's broke, it's oke, that's why the lady is a tramp

So the other night, I was chilling with Small and another friend of ours and we started talking about fix-ups. Mainly for me, but my friend wanted a piece of the action too. We racked our brains for a bit, looked through our phone books, and finally Small said, "I can't help you dude, eM's the only single woman I know."


That's when it struck me. I may not be the ONLY single woman I know, because I know, um, three? other people, but on an average, like using maths and statistics and all that jazz, we're like 20: 40, where 40 is the people in relationships.


That's anecdote one, to illustrate my point. Anecdote two is when I was working the other day and we were talking about going out at night and where to go and all that, and one of my colleagues turns to me and goes, "Do you have a boyfriend?" I shook my head, smiling to show her it wasn't that bad and I wasn't weeping into my pillow every night etc etc, but she shook her head right back at me. "I find it hard to believe that someone like you is not dating anyone special."

In a previous life, I'd hate that statement, because it could be interpreted as, ohmygodtheremustbesomethingseriouslywrongwithyou, but now I've learned to take it as a compliment. Someone like me and still single? Hey, there must be something nice about not being in a relationship.

Of course, like every single woman, or almost every single woman, I want to someday meet someone nice, who'll be fabulous in every way and who will think, but naturally, that I am fabulous too. But, meh, I'm really tired of looking.

On to anecdote three. So, I'm on this date the other day, and we're sitting at home, watching Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrells (good movie, btw, you should see it, if you haven't already) and we're chatting and Small's not home so it's all like private and all and I'm enjoying myself, coz I'm just being me and not like trying too hard or being a different, more giggly, more flirty type person, (which is what I normally do, sadly, when I'm trying to flirt and then sit back and watch myself in horror because it is so not me) and we talk till four am and I'm quite pleased with the way things are going, because Life is not always about Sex and I am so wise and mature and the next day he tells a common friend that there's no chemistry. I ask you. Does that not suck? Although he did say I was nice and funny and all that, but what is the POINT of niceness and funniness if one is getting zero action? Zero. That is right, in this quest to preserve my integrity and my values and so on, I am not getting ANY.


Anyway. More about preserving the values and integrity (v & i). After my last, um, flingette, I decided screw this, this is not making me happy, I'm just going to stop with the random hooking up till I find someone who will worship me like a goddess and sprinkle rose petals on my body and whisper Blake to me when we are in bed. Only (and here's the catch), this Dude? The Blake-quoter? He doesn't exist. No, I'm serious. I even tried to narrow the field and make a list and so on, but really, in this day and age, romance, especially of the Blake-quoting, rose petal sprinkling, banging on your door in the middle of the night calling your name-ing, is dead. I'm going to have to either a) settle for just a random someone who makes me happy or b) take my v & i and cuddle up next to them at night.

Right now, I've picked option b. I hate to think that eventually I'm going to have to make a compromise. I've got my life planned, as far as life can be planned, and this plan DOES NOT include getting married or finding a life partner. If that happens, fabulous, I'll be super-happy, but only if it's with someone I feel I haven't settled for.

43 comments:

  1. Hi

    I have been a regular reader of your blog for quite sometime now and i feel jealous of how you get to go to such happening parties and all that.

    I have a request. Is it possible to get a invite for me whenever you go to another party or some launch or premiere i would like to see atleast once in my lifetime how the rich and famous are.

    If it sounds too desperate or cheap i cant help it .As with most middle class yearning to hobnob with the rich and famous i also have this desire. I can send you my mail id incase you feel generous and feel like giving me a invite

    Thanks

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  2. I think u're funny.

    You look nothing like you sound on your blog, which is interesting.

    Blog on!

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  3. Yes, dahling. Never compromise. Trust me, it's all worth it. :)

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  4. Damn, it's so true that you find advice that you need when you look for it least. Well, I'm assuming that there's a saying like that, cuz there oughta be. I needed that "Never Settle!" advice right now. Thanks! :)

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  5. Hmm..I know what you mean..

    From being a dorky nerd in an all-boys school to wide-eyed, slavering skirt chaser in college to whatever the heck i've turned into now ..
    one thing for sure .. not being involved in a relationship is the best way to be ..

    plus most Delhi women are too vapid to be much more than eye-candy

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  6. I have a theory that if you settle for love less kissing (or worse, love less hand holding), it reduces the value of the real thing. And then, before you know it, you wake up one morning, cynical and angry and disbelieving, having lost faith because love less moments didn't lead to love. So there we are, so engrossed in the right here right now moments, that we forget that without love, no matter who you're sleeping with, you always wake up alone.

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  7. Ma'am, relax.
    I'll be back, with a bang, a BMW, and no flab...in exactly 13 months..

    And as for the talking till 4 am, he was probably waiting for you to make a move...

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  8. Geez! Do the poor bloke out here a favor will ya!! Invite him!

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  9. About the Blake thing. I don't know how to break it to you. For years, I walked around being a stubborn ass about him reading me poetry or at least know who Holden Caulfield is. Nope, he continues to peer from the salmon coloured Financial Times.

    But, he listens.

    And sometimes, that's all that matters. If you feel your heart tingling when YOU recite him Blake, then you've got something. Jane Sunshine

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  10. Pray what's v & i? Okay, v I can somwhat guess (although I ain't sure).

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  11. Don't, I say DON'T! ever settle. I almost married a guy of the rose-petal-sprinkling type--but it would have been the biggest mistake of my life. Yes, he was super-romantic (and yes, they do exist), and a really nice guy, and all, but he was not the right one. I thought he was for a while, but marrying him would have been settling, because I had compromised my v&i.

    My now-husband? When I fell in love with him, I didn't think he had a romantic bone in his body. He was a friend. Nothing more. Even when we started dating (which was AFTER I had already fallen), I had resigned myself to never getting flowers, etc. But, the longer we're together, the more romantic he becomes.

    More importantly, he was SO the right one. And I didn't have to give up my v&i to get him. EM, there's one out there for you, too, and yes, he may be hard to find, but he is the one worth waiting for. When you find him, you'll just KNOW it's right. (I used to hate people telling me that when I was single--it sounded so arrogant, like there was some secret society I was not allowed entrance to--but there's really no other way to describe it.)

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  12. blake? you're sure you want a guy quoting blake to you in bed?

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  13. I've got my life planned...With due apologies to John Lennon.."Life is what happens to you when you are busy planning".

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  14. I know this sounds lame coming from a 30-something married mother of 2 but...

    Isn't it all semantics at some point? I agree on not settling but odds are you're going to have to compromise on some things (which some people see as settling). There were big ticket items that I refused to settle on but there were things that turned out to be less important to me that I compromised on. It’s all a moving target and when you meet someone worth your time (and heart) you’ll know where you have to bend.

    I'm sure there are Blake-quoting, rose petal sprinkling, banging on your door in the middle of the night calling your name-ing guys...they must keep them in a museum somewhere.

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  15. Just wait. One day, you will find just the right person and get married and have a child and your social life will be dead and you will barely have a single moment to call your own and then you will look back on these single, cuddling with v & i days (nice one) with nostalgia. Oh wait... that's me!

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  16. Compromise!! Never!!!
    But values and integrity, sadly, don't cuddle back or smell of Aqua Di Gio....sigh.
    Still, no compromise!

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  17. Hahaha. Blake quotes indeed. Thats like the time I was asking for a girl that could I could play Warcraft III with.

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  18. Most fun and interesting life. How come I never meet people like this? Lets me try to remember some interesting events over the last month...
    *thinking hard*..*harder*..Eureka!..
    Nothing!

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  19. I recommend curling up with a v&t instead.

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  20. Hey,
    This's the first time i've come here, (helped to it by jemgal..) and i must say that it's fabulous stuff you've put on the platter..!

    I'll give free advise to the same tune as the others.. "Don't Compromise.. Ever..!"
    But of course, you've set standards that are so unreasonable i wonder if they can be realized. It's like the commenter who expected to find a partner who'll play Warcraft with him! I'm single too, and am in peace with it myself: in a time when most around me are running wild for a relationship. These relationships, i mean the one's you get into - in this fashion, are the ones you need to avoid most.
    I'd suggest a 'man', who'd not necessarily quip Blake, or quote Browning. I'll prescribe (if it matters ;).. ) a raw one, who'd walk into your life with a smile, one who knows how to get down - get dirty - and fix the leaking faucet.. (what ideas were you getting!?) Someone who'd take you on romantic treks and romantic dinners in the same week. Someone who'll make life worth living and give you reasons for such a life is a man.
    Keep your V&I, for that's what'll usher in a man like that..!

    Till then, bon-soir madmoiselle!

    p.s. I watched the movie you suggested, i like the end best: when the phone-call comes and one of these guys is hanging over the side of the bridge to try to get to the Gun..!!

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  21. I guarantee that in a few years - 5 tops - you'll remember this post, turn to your fabulous petal-sprinkling boyfriend and share a laugh with him.

    There's a quote that I trot out whenever I hear people talking about how they can't seem to find the perfect man: Nobody's perfect until you fall in love with them.

    That's not Blake, by the way.

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  22. Everything, has it's right time...
    till then wait, and infact forget about it and wait and simply have fun, if u dont want to 'settle for' smthng that is

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  23. Check out this link...and then think..
    http://society.guardian.co.uk/children/comment/0,,1765410,00.html

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  24. So everyone in here, EVERYONE, knows what v & i is. So I'm th eonly oe who doesn't. Well! (Pout)

    PS: Googles doesn't help.

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  25. Just wait and watch. someday the cosmos will give the singletons their dues. THEN, we'll sit back and laugh.In the meanwhile, giving random people the evil eye may do the cause some good.

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  26. would you really like a guy to talk to you about chimney sweeps and shower petals on you. Blake has written extensively on that or if you prefer something hyperbolic and slightly grander, dilemmas of aspects of human psychological, spiritual and physical experience, to the more abstract realms of the conceptual, the archetypal and the spiritual. you really want to discuss this in bed? Is that a kink ? enlighten please.

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  27. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  28. hehe, you have more advice and more .. as usual! it's fun seeing you move on and onwards. it's always a pleasure returning to your blog. our lives keep moving on, but they seem like they're still where we left them. and blake,jane sunshine's right. you can quote it and feel happy.

    and namrata, i agree on the aqua di gio. though only secretly. haven't yet admitted it!

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  29. your life will take you where you re supposed to go..just enjoy the view from the window...
    -the young pilgrim

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  30. To see a world in a grain of sand,
    And a heaven, in a wild flower.
    Hold inifinity in the palm of your hand,
    And eternity, in an hour.


    There. Happy ?

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  31. You've heard it before... so bear with me one more time. "You say it so well!! Thats just how it is with me" :))

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  32. The horror of wedlock, the most appalling, the most loathsome of all the bonds humankind has devised for its own discomfort and degradation.
    - Marquis De Sade
    why cant love/sex/romance exist outside a couple? otherwise there is always a settlement, you meet someone with a big black car and his virtues you'll construct with a lot of denial,rationalization and you'll find yourself at parties trying to affirm to your friends/yourself saying "oh, he's great, and he has such a great sense of humour' feigning a smile, a good marraige is nothing but a euphemism for inertia.

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  33. Lock, stock etc., is brilliant.

    Uh-m. I donno bout the rest. Isn't teenage love supposed to be more rose-tinted glasses and exotic dates?
    Yeah, I think I'll stick to that for a while. ;-)

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  34. Well, such a person does exist. I can proudly say that I've done all that YOU expect, while in a serious relationship and, much more. love, romance, support, flattery, admiration, roses, chocolates, gifts, dresses and the works. I've even put my career on hold, in order to help her with her's. The result?...you wouldnt even believe !! she cheated on me. that said, I'm still a hopeless romantic and would definitely like to hook up with a girl of integrity. I hope you agree to one thing atleast: 'ideal' couples are often seperated by a great distance. Gotta work hard in order to close that gap. Never settle for anything less...all the best in mate-hunting ;)

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  35. If you liked Lock, Stock then you will so like 'Snatch'. Drop everything right now and watch it (same director - Guy 'Madonna' Ritchie). It is hilarious and personally I think even more than LS and 2B.

    Some of the dialogues on that are, well, almost blakesque! Right, Scout?

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  36. That be William Blake -English Poet, Painter and Printmaker.

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  37. Well, your blog sounds so much like extended and detailed version of the movie - Page 3

    New to your blog. Have been reading some of the stuff for about 2 days. Nice to delve into women psychology. You probably helped me more than John Gray (men from mars, etc fame). :) Yeah i read a chapter at a friends place. He is a real tharki.

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  38. knowing the women today , tell me if a woman really exists that deserves the rose petals, the cooking , the flowers , the poetry , the love and affection...coz im ready to do dat to a woman but does she exists...the values ...ha!!! they're a joke am not saying that men are better off but then then all mankind is hypocritical if not anything else ...

    im sure u know bout economics ,the relationship between supply and demand .....im sure u know bout poles in a magnet, for every north pole , there's a south pole ....i can go on...basically , for any deserving woman , there is a blake quoting man ...the question is whether you are one !!1( i dont have anything against you and im not being rude , its just a thought, probably logic )

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  39. Quite funny and honest.

    Seems like pages from Carie bradshaw's diary?

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