So the other night, I was chilling with Small and another friend of ours and we started talking about fix-ups. Mainly for me, but my friend wanted a piece of the action too. We racked our brains for a bit, looked through our phone books, and finally Small said, "I can't help you dude, eM's the only single woman I know."
That's when it struck me. I may not be the ONLY single woman I know, because I know, um, three? other people, but on an average, like using maths and statistics and all that jazz, we're like 20: 40, where 40 is the people in relationships.
That's anecdote one, to illustrate my point. Anecdote two is when I was working the other day and we were talking about going out at night and where to go and all that, and one of my colleagues turns to me and goes, "Do you have a boyfriend?" I shook my head, smiling to show her it wasn't that bad and I wasn't weeping into my pillow every night etc etc, but she shook her head right back at me. "I find it hard to believe that someone like you is not dating anyone special."
In a previous life, I'd hate that statement, because it could be interpreted as, ohmygodtheremustbesomethingseriouslywrongwithyou, but now I've learned to take it as a compliment. Someone like me and still single? Hey, there must be something nice about not being in a relationship.
Of course, like every single woman, or almost every single woman, I want to someday meet someone nice, who'll be fabulous in every way and who will think, but naturally, that I am fabulous too. But, meh, I'm really tired of looking.
On to anecdote three. So, I'm on this date the other day, and we're sitting at home, watching Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrells (good movie, btw, you should see it, if you haven't already) and we're chatting and Small's not home so it's all like private and all and I'm enjoying myself, coz I'm just being me and not like trying too hard or being a different, more giggly, more flirty type person, (which is what I normally do, sadly, when I'm trying to flirt and then sit back and watch myself in horror because it is so not me) and we talk till four am and I'm quite pleased with the way things are going, because Life is not always about Sex and I am so wise and mature and the next day he tells a common friend that there's no chemistry. I ask you. Does that not suck? Although he did say I was nice and funny and all that, but what is the POINT of niceness and funniness if one is getting zero action? Zero. That is right, in this quest to preserve my integrity and my values and so on, I am not getting ANY.
Anyway. More about preserving the values and integrity (v & i). After my last, um, flingette, I decided screw this, this is not making me happy, I'm just going to stop with the random hooking up till I find someone who will worship me like a goddess and sprinkle rose petals on my body and whisper Blake to me when we are in bed. Only (and here's the catch), this Dude? The Blake-quoter? He doesn't exist. No, I'm serious. I even tried to narrow the field and make a list and so on, but really, in this day and age, romance, especially of the Blake-quoting, rose petal sprinkling, banging on your door in the middle of the night calling your name-ing, is dead. I'm going to have to either a) settle for just a random someone who makes me happy or b) take my v & i and cuddle up next to them at night.
Right now, I've picked option b. I hate to think that eventually I'm going to have to make a compromise. I've got my life planned, as far as life can be planned, and this plan DOES NOT include getting married or finding a life partner. If that happens, fabulous, I'll be super-happy, but only if it's with someone I feel I haven't settled for.