12 June 2007

When we're NOT wallowing, we're actually having a pretty good time

* Have you lot seen Wife Swap? If you have, you know how glorious it isn't, and if you haven't, you simply must (6 pm, Sundays, Discovery Travel and Living). Anyway, it's possibly the most incredible television programming idea, simply because, oh, the grounds for bitchiness are way, way more than any Top Model type shows could ever offer. Basically, they choose two very different families and switch wives and then chaos ensues. So far, from what I've managed to see, there've been a Wiccan Goddess and a woman who believes her husband runs the household, a very very rich woman who shops a lot with another woman who spends a lot of time with charity and so on. You get the drift. There's a lot of talking about spending time with your kids and eating dinner together, which are funnily enough the two most popular rules that happen during rule change. But my very favourite part is the one right at the end, where the original couples face each other and there's usually a slanging match. One woman even refused to come out of her car, coz she had been a diva all week. Why am I talking about Wife Swap? Because I have no life, clearly.

* Wait that's not true. I did indeed go out this weekend. There was this blog party thing, a gathering of People Who Heart The Internet, about as much as I do. Of course, I'm only a closet nerd, but it's good to come out of the closet every now and then. I felt exactly like one of those weekend homosexuals, who are all whee-purple-ripped-tank-top at gay parties only to be all ho-ho-ho-I'm-straight-in-my-pinstriped-shirt-and-tie on Monday. Anyway so I gushed all over Bombay Addict, who looked rather bemused, but I really must pimp his blog, which I like a lot. It's an awesome blog. Go read it! I also met Amit and we were speculating about the identities of some of the pretty women there and I tried to talk him into going over to them and saying, "Hello. Would you like to see my *ahem* India uncut?" Hee. Only he refused. Spoilsport.

* Here I must put in a minor digression. Where have all the pretty boys gone? I find myself ONLY checking out women, for sheer lack of any eye candy whatsoever. Really. I go to places and I look around and the men are so appalling with tight floral shirts or jeans worn up to their armpits or man boobs, or with really bad teeth or you know, something and then there are all these beautiful women looking petite and fey and fairylike, and always very very well dressed and I know Delhi doesn't have this awesome reputation for treating women well, but hey, at least we've got something to look at. No, but Bombay women really know how to dress. In Delhi, most people overdo the cham-cham, like this one acquaintance of mine from college, who also got married in like second year and was insufferable ever since, and when I bumped into her at Rick's, she was wearing electric blue pants, which would be okay, if she hadn't turned around and revealed to me that the back half of her pants were, um, gold. Yeah. Not much for subtlety, no. The good thing about that though, is that the few women in Delhi who know how to dress without too much glitter, look lovely and distinguished, very much like yours truly. Oh all right. Not much like me. My clothes are minimalist, and I very rarely accessorise. But still. I usually look nice in them, which is what matters.

* After the blog party, me and Sameer, who was my date du jour, went to Hard Rock to hang out with some new people (I'm meeting so many new people these days, it rocks), and when we were right outside Hard Rock with all these fancy cars pulling up and fancy people getting out, my car stalled. And I mean refused to start again. So the bouncer and the valet pushed it outside and we spent some time opening the hood and looking inside it, only we had no idea what we were looking at, so we settled for looking despairing which is when two taxi drivers came up and with magic and lots of changing gears, managed to get it started again. And I drove it back inside Hard Rock to exactly the same spot where it, lalalala, stalled again. Oh, the mortification. This time the valet took over and we went inside blushing in embarrasement. Nothing that two vodkas with oj wouldn't cure. (Vodka-oj by the way, is my new drink). Then we took my car back to my house, hopped into a friendly auto and went to one of the New Friends' houses. Where he had the most posh alcohol ever. Like Jagermeister! Which is this German liqueur thing which you do in shots and which burns the back of your throat as you toss it down. Mmmmmmmm.

* All my new friends seem to have fancy alcohol, which makes me dread the day I will have to invite them all over and serve vodka or Old Monk or Kingfisher strong (coz the guy near my house doesn't have regular beer) in my house which despite my best cleaning efforts smells faintly like cat litter. Like last weekend? I was at another set of New Friends' house, and their house was lovely, with a view of the sea from each balcony and I just wandered around going wow. Wow. WOW. Anyway, so I was asked what I wanted and I shrugged and the host said, "You were drinking margaritas, right?" and proceeded to make me one. FROZEN. PERFECT. In margarita GLASSES. Dude. I nearly died.

* And one must mention one's first bit of current affairs reporting, which was excellent fun and made one feel all investigative-reporter-y. I love my job.

* And, I bought an AC! And I'm officially never leaving the house again! (I don't actually have any money left to leave the house till the end of June, so I suppose it's fortunate that I feel that way)

36 comments:

  1. There goes my last faint hope that man-boobs have some kinky appeal.

    J.A.P.

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  2. bemused? i almost died..

    absolute fun meeting you, and i remain a fan.

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  3. And I had to leave Bombay when it gets cool.

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  4. jagermeister is actually europe's tharra, or toddy or Fenny.

    (done showing off)

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  5. aha!! a ncie account of teh things going on in life....
    teh drinks part.. well trust me it really hits hard, wen hosting the party!! I've stopped doing so for abt a month after hosting 4 on teh trot, betwen apr 22nd and may 5th... still reeling from it, if you ask me!!

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  6. Ello...
    Been reading your blog since quite some time... From what i gather you a freelancer or something?
    covering entertainment beat?
    I'm into PR...
    Would be nice if i could get in touch with you... We dig journos and freelancers!

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  7. Being a sex addict is not really about having kissed (maybe at most) 10 guys when slightly drunk at TC and having made out with about 4 of them.... how about 'I'm a wannabe sex addict because I think it's, like, so super-cool, you know'?

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  8. Come on, floral shirts aren't bad...I own two, and they both have baby blue and pink flowers with a white background... Just different sized flowers, so they're very distinct shirts...

    They're very manly. Nyeah.

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  9. When people ask my what I love about Bombay I tell them that if my car stalls there are always at least two completely random people willing to help - who are not being sleazy at all. I don't know if this happens in other cities in India but it's highly unlikely to happen anywhere else in the world I've been

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  10. Vodka OJ? You mean screwdriver, yeah? For a second I was thinking to myself; why have I never had that drink. :D:D

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  11. i'm watching grey's anatomy with one eye as i type this. i LOVE grey's anatomy. i want to be a super surgeon in a hospital full of pretty doctors. :)

    JAP: awwwww.. well, some people might think they're sexy. really! like a weird fetish or something. do a head count!

    bombay addict: likewise, absolutely. :)

    ph: who? really? the nonboyfriend was (and is) pretty, but now he's an ex nonboyfriend soooooo i guess any leching possibilities are over. sigh.

    iz: come back, come back! we'll have fancy blog party for you also. promise.

    wendigo: really? pretty fancy looking tharra, i must say. these romans are crazy.

    sam: you had four parties? personally, i never get drunk when i'm hosting. not for a long, long, LONG time anyway.

    orange fling: heh. with a name like yours i;m sure you agree.

    bricks: awww. ditto offer to iz.

    anon1: no i have a "real" job. but yeah, i know PR :)

    anon2: well, i *do* think i'm cooler than people who leave anon snide comments on blogs about posts that were written weeks ago, yeah, so you're spot on. good job!

    renovatio: suuuuuuuuuure they are. :) it takes a real man to wear flowers. and baby blue.

    the bride: funny, but thats what someone said to me as the taxi drivers helped. although, i have been helped in delhi as well. comes with the looking-pretty-and-young-and-helpless territory, i guess.

    scout: yeah, yeah, screwdriver. but no frills. just vodka and the mixer. similar to dark rum and coke as opposed to cuban libre.

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  12. Oh *nice*. First you say you want to put me in your purse and take me home, then you go looking for pretty boys.

    So fickle! Tsk!

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  13. pimping my blawg: positivelylowbrow.blogspot.com

    idiots. all of you. fools! the end is nigh, i tell you.

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  14. commenting on your stupid blog is more fun than i thought.

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  15. Been reading this blog for quite sometime and had actually directed 'beatley blue haired boy' here(when I told him who it was, his jaws dropped and all he could manage was 'Seriously! I have to read this')

    Must say a fun blog to read :)

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  16. ahem, just wanted to add that along with the taxi and valet dude, urs truly *was made* to leave his drink, his music, his air conditioning and his comfortable spot at the HRC and come out n help!

    and how come u dont mention the good alcohol - Pims, Grey Goose and ofcourse, Absinth...

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  17. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  18. Ermm... So... any way i can get in touch with you?

    PR Person.

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  19. Why does reading this blog feel cathartic?

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  20. oh ah. and do they end the show after the dinner? thus making it wife swap only for the emotional bits. and it becomes a family show, instead of smashing all trp ratings by becoming every man's fantasy.

    lol. clearly i have no life either

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  21. Awesome time u have been havg gurl! Curious: Did anyone comment abt the hair or is tht old hat now? Pls to be telling :)

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  22. OYE-stop watching that Wife Swap crap. It looks horrendous! If I'm swapping houses with someone I'd pray they would reorganize my closets and drawers.

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  23. I don't blush, goddammit.

    - Sameer

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  24. you mean other ppl watch wife swap too!!

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  25. Dear CC, I liked your blog. Good light reading. One quibble. Must point out that a confessor traditionally is a person who listens to sinners' confessions of wrondoing, and then absolves the said sinners (called penitents) if they say a few prayers and so on.

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  26. Hey congrats!!! You made it to the front page of HT Dt:16th June. Congrats for the books as well :)

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  28. Well does absolut still rank as "fancy"alcohol?
    coz i'll bring it over to my supposed "welcome back"party...
    whose place is it gonna be at?
    I think we can skip mine coz i have not one but two parental units flying back with me
    sigh
    there's also the rest of the JD and the cutty
    and the unopened old monk
    :P
    you're gonna love your second present!!! it is so girly girl!!!

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  29. Hey Em,
    U've another fan. I've been reading your blog from the last 2-3 weeks.Stumbled here through an article and have been hooked since then!Infact i was so engrossed, that it has taken me so long to read all of wat you have written and finally leave you a message.I stay in Delhi, TCs is a place i really like...so its almost life like when you write about it. I haven't been there in the last few weeks, but i can almost imagine you there, with all the people you so frequently wrote about and still write about.I read in the HT yesterday, that you have written a book,i know i'd be queuing up for it,lemme know when there's the book signing...wud be a great chance to meet you!
    Till then,and thereafter, I'll keep looking up this space for more from you.
    Cheers!

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