3 September 2004

The Conversation

I caved and called K. the other day. I know, I know (hides face in shame), but it was just something I had to do. Here's a transcript of the conversation, just how I remember it.

Me: Hey
Him (rather too enthusiastically): Hi!
Me: Just wanted to... y'know... check in and things. See how you were doing. Coz we should stay friends and all (realise I am babbling and trail off)
Him: Yes, that's what I want as well.
(Long pause)
Him: So, how's work?
Me: Oh. Oh! Work is... work (pat myself on the back for this profound statement) I'm busy. It's book and theatre season so I'm out all the time.
Him: Yes, I read your paper every now and then. But in bits.
Me: Yes (think: Yes, well you never read it when we were dating either didja?)
Him: So, your hair looks good.
Me: I know.
Him: It looks really good
Me: I know.
Him: It looked good at that party too.
Me: The one where Randeep (his friend) treated me like I was part of the enemy camp?
Him: Did he? We talked about it and decided it was okay if he wanted to carry on in touch with you.
Me: (Think: How kind) Yes, well, he hasn't called.
Him: Is Dhati still pissed with me?
Me: Yes, all my friends are (laugh to take the truth out of this statement). Your dad must be very happy, no distractions.
Him: Actually, my family was quite upset with me for a couple of days.
(I think Good. At least it's not out of sight out of mind for them.)
Me: Oh, one more thing. If you start seeing someone else, I'd like to hear it from you and not from anyone else coz we have a lot of common friends.
Him: Well, there was this one girl who I spoke to for a couple of days.
Me: (Thinking Oh. My. God. Oh. My God.) Uh-huh?
Him: But nothing really came of it.
Me: (rather squeakily) Okay.
Him: I just don't want to be in a relationship right now.
Me: (overcompensating brightly): Yeah, me neither. I'm taking a sabbatical. (pause) Would you mind if I started seeing someone else?
Him: No! No, I'd be really happy for you.
Me: (thinking: all is lost) I wouldn't be so happy if you were seeing someone else.
Him: Fair enough.
Him: So let's meet up soon
Me: Yeah. No. Not yet. Give me a call sometime.
(We hang up and I take all his..our.... pictures off my bulletin board, out of the frames, and his ring off my finger. It feels naked.)

*sigh*


12 comments:

  1. Check your mail babe. I expect a reply!!!
    - Ash.

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  2. What you did - understandable. But DON'T do it again. You might end up feeling worse.Take care!

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  3. I came upon your blog from the "next blog" toolbar (it's become something of a sad addiction) just wanted you to know that your posts are lovely. you are a very dexterous writer and I'm impressed. but really why I'm posting is to say a huge thank you for that PoA link. It was awesome, I haven't laughed that hard in weeks. thnx

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  4. I couldn't help myself...I did the same thing a few days ago. You handled your call marvelously. I did not, however, fair as well. I think he was expecting me to beg him back (since I was the one who ended it) but I didn't. He was pissed that I still just want to be friends...oh well. What are ya gonna do? But, brava, You! I did delete his number from my cell phone...that will keep me from doing it again.

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  5. Gah!! What's wrong with your email addy? Mail me your new address or one that works, you know mine.
    - Ash.

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  6. Shame shame Mynna. Good for you for not breaking down though. Now that you have the answers you sought, you can move on.

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  7. Thanks for all your comments guys! (Though I am concerned that my readership seems to be only women) Yes, I don't think I'm going to call him again, but I would really like to be friends with him... maybe in the happier future?

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  8. oh and ash, that angelfire account of yours keeps bouncing!

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  9. i can understand what you are saying, but do you really think you can be just 'friends' with him?

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  10. hmm, caved in? Life is more schizophrenic then you think!! Welcome to the club. How does it feel now though? Now that you 'love him enough to let you go'?? a la the earlier post! Though, remember, it is alright if you still dont wanna let him go. Sometimes these things just happen and the more you try, the harder it becomes. Remember that Neruda poem abt 'everything taking me back to you'...?
    One last thing, there is NEVER a smooth conversation with an ex! Too much power play for that. Dont get bogged down in that pls. For your own sake. Can be demeaning.

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