My latest book is The One Who Swam With The Fishes.

"A mesmerizing account of the well-known story of Matsyagandha ... and her transformation from fisherman’s daughter to Satyavati, Santanu’s royal consort and the Mother/Progenitor of the Kuru clan." - Hindustan Times

"Themes of fate, morality and power overlay a subtle and essential feminism to make this lyrical book a must-read. If this is Madhavan’s first book in the Girls from the Mahabharata series, there is much to look forward to in the months to come." - Open Magazine

"A gleeful dollop of Blytonian magic ... Reddy Madhavan is also able to tackle some fairly sensitive subjects such as identity, the love of and karmic ties with parents, adoption, the first sexual encounter, loneliness, and my favourite, feminist rage." - Scroll

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27 September 2004

Never On A Sunday

I spent Sunday with Dee and her new man. It was odd to be with a couple so totally into each other, you know? It was almost like half the time they were making a major effort to unwrap themselves from each other and talk to me. I don't blame them, really. When K and I were first together, our "togetherness" used to drive people mad.

When you're first in a relationship you can't get over the fact that there's someone who's with you, who's loving you, who's on your side, who will never let you "be out there again". (Five points if you got the quotation from When Harry Met Sally). It's sort of like you're looking at the world through someone else's eyes. Like Dee made New Boy (I can't keep calling him that, have to think of a pseudonym,'s Hari? Okay, she made me change it to Hanuman, but whatever. I have a Harry Potter poster in front of me) eat a Subway sandwich for the first time. You've got to know Dee to know that she could live on Subway. I mean, stuck-on-a-desert-island-with-no-other-food-for-the-rest-of-your-life kind of live. And Hanuman had only "had a bite of her sandwich once". So she got all excited when he ordered a (rather boring) potato patty sub and then proceeded to finish her sandwich and mine! It was quite sweet. And the way he kept defending her! I had forgotten that boyfriends do that. Mine "didn't like to get involved".

I started to get real blue after a bit. I wanted someone too. No scratch that, I will tell the truth if it kills me. I wanted K. and me, the way we were way back, the hand-holding, the back rubs, the private jokes... then I realised what I was thinking and promptly put my meta-filters back on.

Then later, at Mocha, we met Ginny and her new man, boy rather, who I shall call what everyone else does--- Baldy. And there we were, Dee and Hanuman on the couch, cooing at each other, Baldy and Ginny on chairs, lighting each other's cigarettes and laughing softly and me, also on the couch, checking out men that were definitely gay. Hmmph.

Y'know when I was part of a couple, my friends were all annoyingly single, and didn't want to be a "third wheel". Now when I'm single and ready to mingle, they all become these old married types. There's no justice in this world! Either that or my fairy godmother needs to be fired.



  1. Neener, I'm the first! *sticks tongue out at everyone else*

    Keep your head up girl. Being the third wheel can help you realize what you want now. Also, ponder this, if you had K back - it would never be exactly as it was.

    Hug yourself, you deserve it. There is no way in hell, even with Tim sitting beside me, that I could watch 2 other couples be "in love." What you single people don't realize is that love isn't what others can see, it is what you show yourself and your partner. It's the glances no one else sees, the intimatcy in jokes that no one else catches and being able to lay in the bed with them after they cut a huge, nasty, surely-to-God-that-they-shit-on-themselves-fart and not get up.

    Reverse your thinking woman. Instead of thinking about you without K, thing of what K is missing. Celebrate your freedom, wear shorter skirts, higher heels and flaunt girl.

  2. I totally second April's views.
    Trust me, when you are finally with someone for keeps,you will be craving to have these days back. Not because you are not happy with your 'someone', but, because you will feel you could have made choices (mainly regarding emotions and attitude),quite different from the ones you made :-) Take care!

  3. You know, I totally agree with you guys.
    Thank you April for reminding me of the less-than romantic moments (that fart was a little TOO descriptive though!)
    Thank you Sunrayz for reminding me of the "two-year" itch that I felt sometimes with K.

    You guys are the best

  4. okay.. heres a different voice.. not necessarily of reason though..

    since im also in the same 'craving for male-companionship-and-especially-his' stage as yours, i also find it abso unbearable to see couples coochy-cooing in front of me, or even women raving about their loving hubbies/would-be.. like just today at lunch, these two colleagues of mine were talking about their respective centres of existence, i tried to participate in the conversation in the beginning, honestly, but after a while it was all i could do to scream out loud something on the lines of "how dare you talk love in front of me, i am mostly-unhappy-but-sometimes-neutral' single! dont you dare!' . it got too painful eventually and i wanted to gorge the eyes of the two dearies out! *sigh* so i can soo get what you mean.

    me thinks you and I should def follow what April and Sunrayz have to say. :)

  5. Hari? Hari?!!! hmphf. Myn, my love, you know I'm way too shallow to go out with anyone called Hari. Pip, pip, edit quickly...


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