My latest book is The One Who Swam With The Fishes.

"A mesmerizing account of the well-known story of Matsyagandha ... and her transformation from fisherman’s daughter to Satyavati, Santanu’s royal consort and the Mother/Progenitor of the Kuru clan." - Hindustan Times

"Themes of fate, morality and power overlay a subtle and essential feminism to make this lyrical book a must-read. If this is Madhavan’s first book in the Girls from the Mahabharata series, there is much to look forward to in the months to come." - Open Magazine

"A gleeful dollop of Blytonian magic ... Reddy Madhavan is also able to tackle some fairly sensitive subjects such as identity, the love of and karmic ties with parents, adoption, the first sexual encounter, loneliness, and my favourite, feminist rage." - Scroll

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26 March 2005

A Visualisation Exercise (subtitle: Oh Say Can You See)

Why I ask myself, am I, a reasonably intelligent, reasonably attractive young woman, with no obvious psychopathic tendencies, still single? I don't even know if it's by choice or compulsion anymore. Sure, I meet men who seem to be interested in me, but there's always something lacking, something that doesn't match up to Mr. Designer Stubble Guy who's in my head.

My Daily Romantic Horoscope For Singles (yes, I admit it freely, I subscribe to this, it gets delivered to my inbox every day) said this today: When's the last time you made a list of exactly what you're looking for? A delicious equal, someone who understands your independence, a smarty-pants, someone exotic -- clarify your hopes and watch it happen.

Okay, I said to myself, my way sure as hell doesn't seem to be working, let's depend on the stars shall we? So here it is, forever recorded for posterity, the list of things that I want in a man. (Completely self-indulgent, I know, but hell, I am a compulsive confessor after all. You knew that before you started reading this post. So I can't help it if some of my posts are a little more cringingly self-absorbed than the others). Right, back to topic. Here goes:

1) I want someone who 'gets' me, who knows what I'm saying even when I can't articulate it.
2) He should be charming, intellegent and funny--but should know not to hide behind humour.
3) He should be kind to people and to animals and be able to intuit what a situation needs.
4) It goes without saying that he should be well-read, with an excellent vocabulary and a repertoire of literary allusions.
5) Actually the most important point of all: he should love me and need me, but not be needy, he should make me feel appreciated and appreciative.
6) He should be someone of independant means--but not on either the very rich or very poor extreme.
7) Also, he should have an independant lifestyle, not being too dependant on his parents or his friends or on me to provide what he lacks.
8) He should be able to understand that my job is demanding--that it leaves me with only so much free time and not whine about it.
9) And yeah, location-wise, preferably he should live somewhere that's not too out of the way.
10) Hmmm.. I think I've got it pretty much covered.. oh wait! He should know that while I like spending alone time with him, I am, by nature, a social creature and need to go out with the people I care about at least once a week, preferably with him.
11) And how could I forget--he should be a really good kisser too :)

I think eleven is about all the universe can handle now! It's a pretty hefty request I know, but I have great faith in these visualisation exercises (you better be right, damn!). Of course, if any of you know anyone who you think fits the bill, send 'em along, okay? : )

I think I'm ready to get back in the game, baby. Wish me luck.


  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. Boris: Wow, you're from Slovenia? That makes you officially my most exotic visitor! And yeah, I noticed I had put it at number five but then I thought about it and a lot of people who are "into" you don't nescessarily have the qualities you want!

    Elf: Never underestimate the powers of the universe! The right guy is out there, making a list of his own, I'm sure :)

    Vignesh: Oooh.. which four? I'm very curious! And back in the game means no wishy-washy stuff this time, I'm going all out! :)

  3. Hmm.. sorry about that... I wanted to say a bit more.. so was going to delete the previous comment and add more to the next... but you seem to be a quicker draw than moi ;)

    Anyways, here is the previous comment:


    Not a chance in all hell huh !! ;)

    And pray tell, when exactly were you OUT of the game ? ;)

    ... and I wanted to say something like hang in there and such related stuff.. but I guess thats alright now... :P

  4. You know, guys like that do exist. But there's such a thing as Mr. Too-Perfect. Someone who's too nice, too sweet, too understanding can drive you up the wall. The most intense affairs I've ever had have all been with very unsuitable men...

  5. Hmmm! is one of the many fraud corporates to have floated since the dotcoms got into vogue. If they were to beleived, I would have been life-altering relationships on an everyday basis! :) :(

    Let me look at your list now...
    1) Very very tough! :)
    2)Possible, but funny guys can get too funny after a while and then it ceases to be fun, coz you dont know if you are being laughed at or laughing with them
    3 & 4)Possible I reckon
    6 to 10)Oh well, good luck
    11)There must be someone out there! :)
    1 to 11 in the same man? Tall tall order!
    Sheesh, now I am quite depressed :(

  6. Jay: Yes, I know what you're saying, but this is justa list of the ideal, I'll settle for Mr. Not-Quite-Perfect-But-Still-Sexy :)

    Primalsoup: Look what are the odds that there's some other girl out there looking for EXACTLY the same qualities? I'm sure there's someone for me, I just don't know whether he knows it yet! :)

  7. oh my god..omg so agree with ur post...except Number 11 shud be number 1 coz ive written off guys merely based on kisses..seriously..very friends reckon I shud drop my standards...but reading ur post..makes me think Nah gonna keep "hoping-and- wishing" ( sung in olivia newton john style)

  8. Nish: LOL... you hang in there, buddy! Of course, I warn you if a guy like the one I've described walks along--I call him first! Mine! :)

    motheater: Oh god, ya think? I seriously hope not--considering how much I HATE chain mail. Although it's really very flattering of you to think so, thank you :)

    ooh! ooh! 10k visitors! Ooh! :)

  9. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  10. Even when certain designer stubble poster boys told you that they've been gay all along. Even then.

  11. eM,

    Good thing is that you know what you are looking for. If you are so certain about what you need from a guy, you should wait till you find the perfect match. There being more than six billion people on Earth, there is bound to be at least one perfect match.

    It will be worth the wait when you find him. Which will be soon, my spider sense tells me. :)


  12. Yeah, okay then.
    How many of these things are you, yourself, eM?
    Its damn easy to make a list of things you want in your dream guy/girl. How about you take a good look at yourself and figure out whether you'd match up to this superguy? Whether he'd want you, if he existed?
    just a thought.

  13. oh my god!! that is exactly how i feel!!
    am a designer myself.. and i wonder if ill ever be abel to find that other designer half of me.. who will be my all in all...sigh..
    where are you?.. mr Stubble face dark handsome ONE!??!

  14. Manish: Okay, either I'm being really stupid or your comment is REALLY cryptic. Either way, explain please! :)

    Anurag: I certainly hope your spider sense is right. I could do with some good news right about now.

    Anon: Might I also say it's really easy to post anonymous debatable comments on people's blogs? Next time, leave a name, buddy.

    Grafx: LOL :) Ya, but designer stubble guy is mine, you can have the "designer double guy" you want!

  15. Nah, actually its quite simple, the comment. As teens, we grew up with George Michael as our poster boy. The girls swooning all over his not-so-subtle stubble. The guys wishing for an oh-so-macho unkempt stubble just like his when they grow up and start growing one. And then we were told he was gay. The fall of this manly icon was kinda heartbreaking for our generation (pardon my being politically incorrect). Although I still love his voice. And that's what I meant when I made that comment.

  16. ::sigh::
    I'm sorry. I just popped back to this site and realised how curt my comment looked. Besides, not knowing you, not having read the rest of your blog, I have no right whatsoever to judge you.
    Explanation: I was pissed off. I've recently sworn off women. And I've had it up to here ::points at pate:: with
    (a) Women who insist men are the scum of the universe
    (b) Women who want perfect men.
    (c) Anything with PMS.
    My question still holds, but I apologise.

  17. Timothy: Well then you and I think alike coz I'VE had it up to here with guys who think:
    a) My body is their body
    b) Who believe in emotional fuckwittage
    c) who have major mood swings and DON'T have a "that time of the month" excuse! :)

  18. .... years later....

    does the guy exist? does he have a similar brother/cousin? :-)

    why is it so difficult?


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