My latest book is The One Who Swam With The Fishes.

"A mesmerizing account of the well-known story of Matsyagandha ... and her transformation from fisherman’s daughter to Satyavati, Santanu’s royal consort and the Mother/Progenitor of the Kuru clan." - Hindustan Times

"Themes of fate, morality and power overlay a subtle and essential feminism to make this lyrical book a must-read. If this is Madhavan’s first book in the Girls from the Mahabharata series, there is much to look forward to in the months to come." - Open Magazine

"A gleeful dollop of Blytonian magic ... Reddy Madhavan is also able to tackle some fairly sensitive subjects such as identity, the love of and karmic ties with parents, adoption, the first sexual encounter, loneliness, and my favourite, feminist rage." - Scroll

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2 December 2005

"Mine? Mine? Mine?"

Turquoise Cottage last night after what felt like years. I've gotten a little bored with it these days, so I've stopped visiting as often as I used to. But last night, Priya, Small and I were all in the mood and there was a general feeling of bonhomie as we left the flat together, giggling, singing, "This is the story of a girl, who cried a river and drowned the whole world, though she looks so sad in photographs, I absolutely love her.. when she smiles" at like the tops of our voices. All is well with the world, and I love the winter.

We met K and his New Girl at TC, which was a little awkward for me. Okay, make that VERY awkward. To the point of tears. Because right in front of me, she stretched up and kissed him and he looked at her with that expression, and it's not like I'm into him anymore or anything, but that just made me feel even more alone. So after a little weeping, done subtly in the bathroom, and a little kajal touch-up, I reemerged to find my friend (and one-time kiss buddy) Vivek with his new girlfriend, this Spanish chick called Laura. We teased Vivek about it for quite a bit, but he did look sweet with his arm around this girl. "We met right here, at TC," said Laura and I almost squealed, "Me too!" I don't know whether that'll work out in the long run, because they don't seem to have very much in common, besides, there's always the language problem, her English is a little shaky and I'm guessing she doesn't know any Hindi. But for now, they're damn sweet and she introduced me to this cute Austrian guy called Hans and we spent the evening chatting.

Turns out Hans hasn't seen the one movie that I connect with Austria, The Sound Of Music. "Everywhere I go people tell me this," he said, laughing, "And it is so famous in the rest of the world, but no one in Austria has seen it!" I told him he absolutely must watch it. "Isn't it for children?" he asked. "Well, not exactly, but it's very good!" I don't know whether I convinced him though.

Hans had a very strong German accent, which I think might have been the root of the dream I had last night about Hitler wanting to have coffee with me, but he explained the accent, "I speak English pretty well, but always with the German accent. Everyone confuses the Austrian accent with the German one, we are such a little country."

After finishing his studies in Austria, he wants to return to India, move to Kerela and become an English-German transalator for tourists there."That's a good idea," I said, and he nodded excitedly, "And so simple!" I could've probably hooked up with Hans if I wanted to, but I wasn't that into him and I saw him later in the evening, snugged in a corner with another girl, who I happen to know and he waved awkwardly at me when I said hello and goodbye to her. "See you soon?" he said and I laughed, "Sure." Men are the same all over the world, clearly.

Oh ya, also hung with K and New Girl for a bit and was thoroughly ashamed of my bad behaviour, because she is very nice. No really. She's damn sweet and there was much bonding happening there. In the middle of this bonding, every now and then I' keep stopping and going in my head, "Wow, I'm being so grown up!" It's a good feeling. She's nice looking too, I admit grudgingly, but (and another five cool points for me) I told K how happy I was for him and that she was really nice and he beamed at me so happily that I guess it was worth it. What does she have that I don't? Um.. I'm not sure, though I was burningly curious about it. She's more docile I guess, a little more mellow, not as hyper as I'm prone to be. Oh, and she's tall. While I can be mellow on occassion, it's hard for me to be naturally tall. Perhaps that's it.

And that's the end of the K story. Except I asked her in a drunken moment whether she hated me and she gave me a hug and said, "Of course not, please don't ever think that." Ya, she does sound nice, no? A lot nicer than I would've been, most definitely.

And then they turned off the music and Small and I came home and ate toast and talked about how adult I was. :)


  1. Yay, first for once!

    So what is TC? An expat hang-out place in Delhi?

  2. I cannot do what she did neither what you did. I'd just avoid it AT ALL COSTS! Brr.

  3. Hmmm...*slightly louder* HHMmmmm....*still more louder*....HHHHMMMMmmm...*deflating*..

  4. oh eM,i understand!
    The guy i broke up with, now tells me that he has a girlfriend - while i still want him (not that you do, but we're in a similar place, i think) and i broke up because of a stifling feeling at one time... ah! i'm ranting !
    i got my blog for that!
    you chill. I'm a closet believer in things that are 'meant to be'. It helps, and it works darl.
    *shuts up*

  5. I really, really enjoy reading your blog. It reminds me of the way my life used to be, not that I regret anything that's happened to me since.
    I also knew am Austrian called Hans but he was a math student...

  6. Oh, I'm glad for you. Just makes me think I'm terribly immature when it comes to dealing with stuff like that. I just go all mean and nasty with ex-boyfies' current girlfies.
    And I'll be in Delhi for New Year's Eve... is TC any good then? Or some other place?

  7. Very adult behaviour indeed! I think TC's ambience calls for adult behaviour and that somehow those loos are NOT condusive to bawling. So good good girl for just 'a few' tears....blogging seems to be great therapy for any rants - keep blogging!!

  8. docs dope: I no longer love him, that's for certain, but how I loved him. (ten points for you if you can figure out who I paraphrased there)

    ab: Thanks :) Graaaah, exboyfriends!!!

    horsey: Awww.. sorry, not first, it's the comment moderation thing, you see :) TC is my most favourite place in Delhi and while it DOES have a lot of firangs, it has a lot of "us" as well :)

    ms v: what to do when your flatmate is dating your exes best friend? :)

    wishful: Okaaay :)

    princess: Thanks :) I believe in "meant to bes" too, I just don't think this IS a meant to be. Once, he was my lobster (which is why the title of the post) but now he is hers. *sigh*

    rivka: Well, since all names on this have been changed to protect the innocent, I highly doubt it's the same guy! :) What's it like in my future, btw?

    scout: Elevate, I've heard is good on NYE, but I've never been. This year I'm migrating to Goa and whenever I'm in Delhi, I stay at a private party :)

    30: Well, I've seen a SHITLOAD of people bawling inside TC, but not the loo, no. And the first thing I thought last night while all of this was happening, was what a great blog post it would make, if nothing else.

  9. TC???maybe it's just Sunday nights, but everytime i've been there, the place's been dead. the DJ only knows to play GnR or Metallica, no alt.And i don't know if you classify as a babe or what, but you described what sounds like more than a few babes hanging out there that night. Fugget Elevate--Techno/trance/house music--only good for ravin' NYE. if you're in Goa around new years time like me...check out Kolva beach if you wanna get hooked up. ever noticed how your hometown sucks if you belong to the place.

  10. Hitler wanting to have coffee with you? Thats one for the dream interpreters!

    With regard to your reply to Doc... paraphrasing Neruda methinks??

  11. well... I got married and moved from Bombay to the backwaters of Kerala. Worked for me, may not work for everyone. :-)

  12. so wonderfully written ... can't quite say anything more, and would be quite pointless :)

  13. well me the same anonymous guy who wanted you to write more on TCs........well seems you were destined to write about TCs.......for those who dont know bout TC, thats the only place that has not become a pick-up in last 6-7 years & has been consistent with the music...30 something ppl like me can still listen to that music over n over again. more than that its the only place that does not play "bolo tarara" brand of music........

    have so many memories from TC, feel too nostalgic bout it and yes its a place where you can not "not" bump into ur exies.

    n yes the booze is cheaper than the 5 ishtaar, high on snob wannabe joints. the food is awesome as well.

    alrite time to shut my trap....or eM will truncate

  14. Hmm. I think I was lucky, the only important ex ended up with a really good friend of his - someone I already knew and liked. I actually got to be happy for him, and they've been together three years.:)

  15. The "how I loved him": Diamonds and Rust?

    Comment moderation? Ah, the price of fame and popularity.

    Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I shall now attempt a post on the lines of "if eM were old. And male. I.e., me"

    Must make it to TC some time this month.


  16. That's too mature! I'd have stuck a knife into her back and then smiled sweetly!

  17. hmm.. 'she' does seem nice. i would probably have felt better if she said she hated me. feels good to make other women insecure. but then , i'm just really petty...
    congrats on the growing up :-)

  18. gTC is the place to be; all otehr places in delhi are wanna b places. Feel like home, when er're at TC ...hmmmmm


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