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19 September 2006

But I don't like beer

(Pre-script: All hail the Hedonist! Someone I've been trying to persuade to blog for quite some time! Fresh maal from London! And, dude, we missed you this weekend, truly. Delhi is not the same without you.)

And now, back to our regular programming.

So, you know I love drinking. I love it. Absolutely. It qualifies as a passion for me, right up there with like writing, and reading. Anywhere that offers alcohol is instantly upped one level for me. A passion, though, is not the same thing as an addiction. A passion is when you enjoy something, when it's something that you can talk about, when it's something that makes you happy, she said defensively. An addiction on the other hand is when you can't stop yourself from doing something, and when it doesn't make you happy anymore, but you keep doing it anyway. With a passion, you like meeting people who share that love with you. Anyway. Enough defending myself. I'm *ahem* going to divide this post into three parts, so you're forewarned right away, and tackle the issues of alcohol consumption.

Right. Since everyone (except you! You rule! I love you!) has promptly fallen down face first on their keyboards and gone to sleep, I think I can begin unihibitedly. (Oh wait, if you're like a child or something, below 18, I'm going to need to see some ID so your parents don't sue me)

*What you could buy me in a bar, to make me go to bed with you (well, okay, not quite. But I will smile prettily for some time, and listen animatedly and interestedly to what you have to say. Which is quite a big deal, no?)*

> Rum and coke: But, BUT. Make sure the rum is Old Monk, only. Not Bacardi. I don't drink Bacardi. I hate the chemical aftertaste that it leaves in your mouth, and the cringe that it induces going down your throat. I will be your best friend forever if you know this, and you know not to ask me what I'm drinking, when you're placing the order.

> Margaritas: How can you NOT love a margarita? It's the only cocktail that tastes of nothing but the sweet, sweet taste of tequila, that's so palate-burningly distinctive. The salt around the rim has to be perfect though, for a really good margarita. I like the ones where they layer on the salt, rather than put a delicate ladylike sprinkling, and then (if I'm at TGIF and drinking their perfect Ultimate Margaritas, which feel like you've died and gone to Dipsomaniac Heaven) I like to lick the salt rim and then quickly chug through the straw, with the liquid dissolving the salt in my mouth. Small showed me the sexy way to do that too, so it works on many levels. I think tequila shots should count as a subhead in this category though SOME people say they haven't done tequila shots since COLLEGE, but I think they're just missing out on some good fun. (And they haven't been out of college for that long anyway, so hah bloody hah.) The whole ritual of the thing, sprinkling the salt on that little flap of skin between your thumb and forefinger, holding the lemon, saying cheers loudly (because tequila always adds an air of good cheer and celebration to a gathering, even if it's only Tuesday) and knocking the drink back, trying not to let your eyes tear as you suck desperately at the lemon, wait a beat, and another, and then the warmness fills your stomach and radiates out through your veins and EVERYONE is so BEAUTIFUL and really, you're so HAPPY and yeah, tequila rules.

> Vodka-coke: In ze winter I svitch to ze wodka, because it is varming and more high inducing than rum and if I "bottoms-up" my drink, I feel sensation arriving again to my numbed fingertips, and my nails (which usually stay blue from December through February) suddenly get all pink and glowing and oh, the tip of my nose, another cold spot (I have fun with boys I'm dating, or at least, when I USED to date boys, many decades ago, burying my nose into their cheek or shoulder or warm stomach when they least expect it, which means I a) warm up my poor frozen probosis and b) I get to hear them squeal like little girls. Both are fun.) Vith wodka, I grow varm again, and often I strip down to my lowest layer (not the bra, but either the tank top or sweater before that. I am a respectable girl, after all) and oh, vhy von't vinter come already? It's about time.


*Experiences that alcohol has heightened this past weekend (not ALL past weekends. That would be sort of hard to document, seeing their sheer volume and the fact that I forget most of what happens to me)*

Oh, he was so hot. Really hot. BUILT and PRETTY with this mouth, oh his mouth, it curved so sweetly and sexily, and his body, mmmmmmmmmm, what a body and because it was so loud he leaned in to talk to me, and I could smell his hottieness and feel his beautiful hair (well, it was ironed, but still) brush against my ear, and examine his chest, which stretched out his t-shirt and then sat loosely around his superflat stomach and when I reached out to make a point and touched his (beautiful) arm, with its sinews and curves and MUSCLES OH MY GOD THE MUSCLES, I wanted to die.

And then I nearly did, from sucking in my stomach for so long.

(oh, and ps: not happening. male model, waaaaaaay out of my league, but I did enjoy basking in that hotness for a while. Ooh, and he kissed my cheek to say goodbye and I could feel the shape of his mouth and please can I take him home? He can live in my cupboard, and service me every morning. And evening, if I'm not too tired. Actually, for him, I'd NEVER be tired.)


*Here's where I insert a tiny note on my pickled liver and my heightened capacity and how it's really sad that I can drink so much and not get drunk, but you get the general idea, no?*

Cheers, bebe.

30 comments:

  1. Hello Bebe,

    Thank you for the link but it will be a while before I find my writing mode. I've been writing academic papers for a whole year and I think it's sapped my creativity. They called it a training of the mind, that's training spelt s-u-p-p-r-e-s-s-i-o-n.......
    Personally I favour Pinot Grigio or any other white wine. Chardonnay and ze Vodka or both. And of course weed, we all know it's my kryptonite. As for tequila shots, I missed out on 6 wonderful hours of my life, the last day of board exams and have never touched them since. Save for this yummy tequila Al bought from the Russian Embassy, well the bushes behind the Russian Embassy on New Year's eve in 2004. The Russian Embassy, again, the bushes behind it, is da bomb for scoring foreign-made liquor. It's a scam naturally, but then it wouldn't be Delhi if it wasn't a scam.
    And lah-dee-dah!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Old Monk, eh? I think I have mentioned it here before, that it is what I always stick to. Or Vodka if I run out of rum. Or gin if I am out of vodka.

    We, in my biker fraternity, are divided between Old Monk and Old Cask.

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  3. lol...you're hilarious!

    and about the model, i work in a profession where we look as models as commodities.

    ask the rate?
    how much?
    bargain!
    get another one...this one's too expensive!

    i miss cllege, and being able to obsess about models.
    do male models in india have brains...the one's here dont.atleast most dont!
    :(

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  4. if you get the opportunity..or if you know a good bootlegger like the guy in GK2, buy a bottle of decently good white wine with a bottle of any citrus flavoured vodka and stick in the freezer a night before consumption.
    Procure 90ml shot glasses.. mix both bottles in a bucket, add crushed mint leaves and hey presto..

    you have at least 50 shots that will freeze your tongue, throat and brain before burning its way slowly through every single goddamn vein

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  5. NEVER date a guy with ironed hair!
    just take him home maybe! *gni*

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  6. Add Bloody Mary to that list, and we could be spirit-sisters.

    A kiss on the cheek may be quite continental, but a hot&heavy make out session is a girl's best friend. (I love paraphrasing stuff.)

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  7. Although, technically, I wasn't paraphrasing. Mutilating wouldn't have sounded as nice.

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  8. Ha ha ha, that was incredibly funny and so so crazy. Reminded me of the time I USED to drink.

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  9. eM, very very very funny!

    You make delhi sound so fantasticly fun. My delhi was fun but in a hugely different way. The only thing I can think off that might have been common would be TCs...

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  10. i used to enjoy clubbing at one point in my life :P makes me all nostalgic (sniff sniff)

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  11. oh the glitzy delhi life. oh the magic.

    and zee, i hav rossian accent bettr than you. sins i look rreally, rreally forin az vel - ven i visit delhi vee shall go to rossian embassy, dressed in silly hat with fur, and demand orishinal kgb grade vodka, da?

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  12. What, no Bailey's? Sweet, wonderful, Irish Bailey's? or Kahlua? Delicious, chocolatey Kahlua?

    God, I need a drink.

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  13. old monk is the only rum that rocks the planet.....took it for a new years celebration to prague and had all the globe-trotters begging for more.
    its the LITs that kill me at TGIF really, well actually its the 12th one at the trot that i have trouble managing.
    and yes, where's the bloody winter (from a fellow desperate delhiite waiting for the time when rum and hot water ISNT a cure for a sore arm)

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  14. that had me laughing for quite a while. you make compulsive reading. tequila shots though, very dangerous, it had me back slapping my boss and a sober bunch of conference delagates who tut-tutted at my wastrel ways.
    you don't like beer? ayyo.

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  15. Rum bhakti is good. Even better that you call it an honest rum-coke instead of a fancy-pants "Cube libre".

    ReplyDelete
  16. Have you seen the reliance insurance wala ad in which the little boy disturbs the girl doing yoga-

    This is for you

    tum itna daaru kyoun piti hoe?

    Ya phir itnaa daru daaru kyoun karti hoe?

    doe haftey se daaru daaru kar rahi hoe

    kya tum bewdi hoe?

    Kya tum slurr kar ke bolti hoe?

    Aur woh tumhaarey pichwaadey mein kisi ney kata tha na uska kya hua?

    Kya isi gam mein pi rahi hoe?

    Tumhaarey ghar mein baap vhai nahi peetey?

    One tight slap....

    Hic! oh! aachaa...

    Abey cigarette jala jaldi kar....

    Bayoodon se hoe saaavdhaan.

    Abb dilli mein khuli rahegi

    Das se Das tak daru ki Dukaan...

    Cheeeeeerssssssss......

    Bewdi ke naam...

    One tight slap...

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  17. Bebe
    I just checked the 'doing delhi' blog. There is something on at The Mezz on the 20th. The Mezz is alive again? No more ghastly heart-breaking reincarnations into 'Party Occassions' after ovbious insurance scam fires? Is it true?
    I've gotta come back to Delhi.

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  18. three things

    1. i love beer. it's both bitter and smooth. first you crinkle your nose, then you've got to grin. two extremes in one bottle. taste and emotion. it's fantastic. you've got to give it another chance.

    2. delhi is the party capital of the world. (this comes from all the delhi postings) actually not. but it gets my vote only for and because of TC.

    3. (you're right)drinking has to be the best past time ever. second only to standing at a bar and "be still-ing" your beating heart while a delicious man leans over you.

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  19. Tequila shots are the best. They especialli well on nights when all you want to do is dance. The shots allow you to get high but there's no irritating glass to manage on the dance floor...

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  20. eM,

    Came across this blog by accident, but have learnt a great deal from it! I was looking for info on life in Delhi (never lived in India before), as I'll be moving there for work very soon (DAYS!). Have to say its great to see it wont be toooo different from home (at least in the nightlife sense of course!). Great writing indeed.

    More power to you!

    io

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  21. Ironed hair? I've heard of such a thing but... really? Ironed?

    Gee.

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  22. Isn't the whole tequila ritual known as the lick, kiss and suck?
    (as in lick the salt, kiss the glass and suck the lemon...clarification for the pervy punners)!

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  23. when u mention ze vodka, u must also mention ze red bull! first heard of the combo on this blog, and its been my party fuel ever since!

    u rock, girl.. keep goin!

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  24. i m so j.. i miss my days in delhi...
    i miss elevate and tc and all that was nice...

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  25. there were those good times wen ....


    i was in delhi and having a gr8 time.. but now here in ludhiana with no booze and fags...
    and all j...
    lol
    yea.. the previous comment was by me.. and i forgot 2 write my name

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  26. I see so many people mentioning vodka, but never heard anyone talking about Chili Vodka. I had one shot of that 6 years back and am I hooked??? I turned 3 absolut bottles into chili vodka already.

    Old Monk is the best rum there is. Closely followed by Green Island ( a Mauritian rum).

    And then Beer. is there something like a bad Beer? Sure we have good Beer and better Beer, but never a bad Beer. With Beer you can (insert anything impossible here)

    PS: Comment is almost after a year as I just came across your blog and reading up the archives. You have a way with words. :-)

    ReplyDelete

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