My latest book is The One Who Swam With The Fishes.

"A mesmerizing account of the well-known story of Matsyagandha ... and her transformation from fisherman’s daughter to Satyavati, Santanu’s royal consort and the Mother/Progenitor of the Kuru clan." - Hindustan Times

"Themes of fate, morality and power overlay a subtle and essential feminism to make this lyrical book a must-read. If this is Madhavan’s first book in the Girls from the Mahabharata series, there is much to look forward to in the months to come." - Open Magazine

"A gleeful dollop of Blytonian magic ... Reddy Madhavan is also able to tackle some fairly sensitive subjects such as identity, the love of and karmic ties with parents, adoption, the first sexual encounter, loneliness, and my favourite, feminist rage." - Scroll



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9 June 2008

The perfect prelude to going and watching Sex And The City tonight


I've made quite a few new friends recently. GIRL friends. I don't know whether you realise how important that is, but until very recently I had all of four women to hang out with. And since all those women knew their own sets of boys and I know mostly boys it just became like we were given metaphorical penises. No, seriously.


Girls are great. Having girl friends is awesome. Having girl friends means having someone to talk about your FEELINGS with, over and over again, obsessing wildly while they obsess with you and then you obsess with them. Girl friends giggle at the right places, and they have your back (mostly) and they know to call you the next day for a detailed post mortem and they hug and you don't have to shield any part of your body (my boys are great but such BOY boys that it's hard to forget sometimes). And they tell you if there's going to be a wardrobe malfunction and you know you look good if they say you look good.


Anyway, I was thinking the other day about girl crushes. I don't mean like sexual crushes. I mean just the whole, "Oh we have to hang out!" and "Oh, my new friend so-and-so said that movie was great!" It's mentionitis to the core, it's wanting to hang out with them all the time, it's even drunk texting to give status updates on where you are and what you're doing. Girl crushes are heady, pure things. Guys do Man Crushes as well--"Oh we have to get together and play soccer!" and "Oh do you think he'll call? He's got to call, I got him that new DVD we talked about!" Same-sex straight crushes are at once the most charming and most amusing things I've ever seen.


Have I had girl crushes? Oh many times. In fact, I think most of my female friends today are a result of these encounters. I cannot get ENOUGH of them in our beginning stages of flirting, I can't ask them to go shopping too many times, I can't stop texting and I can't stop blurting out details of my life that would probably make even close friends from before raise an eyebrow. But the great thing about girl crushes is that they never raise an eyebrow. They say, "I know!" and "Me too!" and you love them in that moment, both of your eyes sparkling and you love them when both of you turn to boys you're flirting with and there is a hidden gleam passing between the two of you which no one can penetrate.


Does this sound sexual? It does a bit, doesn't it, now that I'm writing it down? But it's nooooot, it's so not and that's what makes it beautiful. It's like being a kid again and wanting to know the shape and texture of your cousin's bellybutton and feeling the powdery softness of butterfly wings against your fingertips and drinking water so cold it hurts the back of your throat and the inside of your brains. It's all those undefinable, uncategorised feelings and it's about hip bumping as you sashay down the street and sharing cigarettes and each of you looking at the other and knowing you are young and beautiul together.



42 comments:

  1. Something like boozing into long nights with guy friends and talking about people behind their backs? ;-) I guess not! :-D

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  2. its seems like nothing.just nothing to say.just flirting to readers .not even a wise thought,just like for popularity.
    sorry..!

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  3. I can totally understand!!!

    But yeah, we peeps tend to keep it a secret;for once, a guy in my class blurted out that he'd had a "same-sex crush"... we still tease him about that, though deep inside we know that we've been through this "same-sex crush" thing too..

    You forgot to mention that girlfriends are AWESOME Secret-Keepers. Too bad Lily Potter didn't have a girlfriend ;)

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  4. She had a sister though..

    Hmm, I didn't know guys did Man-Crushes..

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  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  6. cousin's bellybutton??? i think not!

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  7. welcome back. cute post. very anne-of-green-gables-ish...have u read it ever? do pick up a copy if u missed out...your post reminds me of the whole "bossom friend" theme...

    i also love girl friends for making sure you don't go home with the hot stranger at the club, for holding your hair back as you throw up, for loving you despite no makeup, for sharing their makeup with you, for knowing something is wrong the moment they hear your uncertain "hello", for sharing clothes with you, for laughing with you until you tear up..
    :)

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  8. this post wants to make me cry! i don't have a girl-crush or a girl friend or even a friend for that matter.

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  9. Man, the last para touches me deep within.

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  10. Interesting blog.
    Being a guy, I always felt it is believable for a girl to have a girl-friend- as the kind of softness, admiration, expressions- both verbal and physical and the grace, can be found from another girl....

    So, I emphatise to your viewpoint.

    A very straight, SS

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  11. haha!! girl friend's now!! boys stopped approaching? :) good for them.

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  12. Guess I'am sorry for the above comment. It felt good to be nasty, gave a temporary raise to my downed spirits. Do me a favor and delete the above comment. Thanks!!

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  13. lol
    same sex straight crushes. hmmm i dont know the word i'd use for it, but i can't say i concur. i'm too homophobic for that.
    u smoke? :O
    yea, i live in like 1945 or so.

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  14. also, i totally agree with the sentiment of same sex friends. i'm not the type who needs many friends, so the 4 u mentioned in past tense would b a luxury for me, but yea, chillin with a guy gives u so many more luxuries. lol i feel sorry for girls who have mostly guy friends. i can udnerstand it bein difficult to find friends who are girls. girls are huge bitches to almost anyone, so...

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  15. yikes i was jus gonna refer to sex n the city when i read your title.. absent minded out me!
    anyway .. i dont know if you should call them crushes. it jus ruins the feeling. cos its a lot deeper than that.
    crushes r for hotties or cuties or geeks( yes geeks) of the opposite sex methinks!
    oh and btw... girls also do a hell lot of same sex checking out
    way fun:)

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  16. Lovely post.

    Female friendships are hard, because we constantly have to work against the rivalry we are conditioned to have. Thanks for the reminder about how awesome they can be, and why they're worth working on.

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  17. Ehh I like your post! I can so relate. I suppose most people can so relate. Anyway I like your blog. You've got yourself another reader! =) tc bbye.

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  18. Finally, some freakin' girl friends!!! Now throw another party and make up for the schlong-fests of 2007!!! Bob will be goddamn thrilled...

    Sameer

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  19. There is something about girlfriends..they hold secrets well, they put you firmly back in place if you beyond yourself, they shrink your head it swells..the rarely say 'I told you so' even if they are thinking it. Women..what can I say..not even a warm cup of chocolate comes close to a heart warming hug or irrepresibe giggles over a shared secret!! Nice.

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  20. I like what you write... Does nt always make sense to me, bit sure makes it a un read... A good relaxation between the stressful work hours... Cheers!

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  21. Seriously having good girlpals are rare.. I really relish a good lunch or hanging out in coffee shops with girl pals sharing gossip..

    I am priming myself up to watch S&C too. :) Love the painting..

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  22. Perfect

    That happens to me and others too , the kind of crush that you are talking about

    And at the end of the day , guys rock !!!

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  23. seriously dude, this blog i sooooo over. Now, it's like you have an eager readership so have to deliver... any rubbish, just like the newspapers...I won't be here again...but it was nice
    best
    SSM

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  24. I loved this post! Oh, I soooo know what you're talking about. Only, I wouldn't be able to write it so well.

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  25. Makes some sense... Came across your blog for the first time today... Some honest posts which I would think twice before writing... Way to go gal!

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  26. Oh, I love my girl friends. You can have the best boyfriends, brothers, husband, father, but there's nothing replacing the girl friends!

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  27. Oh, I love my girl friends. You can have the best boyfriends, brothers, husband, father, but there's nothing replacing the girl friends!

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  28. Goooey goo..eM is back in the popularity charts...:-P

    From the remarkable absence of any mention about long locks, do we presume, we are back in with a chance..??:-O

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  29. Oh so true. I don't think I could survive my life with so much of woes in it without my girlfriends. So hip hip hurray for those girly crushes:-)

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  30. Good thing with that infernal movie coming out is atleast one night all the girls go away and we can watch Euros in peace.
    though i wont go so far as to suggest i have crushes on any of my beer drinking, snack mooching buddies - i do not want to attract funny looks hereonin....

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  31. comeon, men dont hve man crushes...we just garner like minded men as allies...we are just building an army of drink buddies...

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  32. oh, i am totally agree with u! I have lots of girl friends and they r all so supportive & caring. I wonder how my life would be without them by my side. long live girl power!!!

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  33. I leave the country and you find new girl friends??
    well FINE GO AHEAD THEN BE LIKE THAT..
    Sameer are you reading this?

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    ReplyDelete
  35. I adore this bit:

    Does this sound sexual? It does a bit, doesn't it, now that I'm writing it down? But it's nooooot, it's so not and that's what makes it beautiful. It's like being a kid again and wanting to know the shape and texture of your cousin's bellybutton and feeling the powdery softness of butterfly wings against your fingertips and drinking water so cold it hurts the back of your throat and the inside of your brains. It's all those undefinable, uncategorised feelings and it's about hip bumping as you sashay down the street and sharing cigarettes and each of you looking at the other and knowing you are young and beautiul together.

    ReplyDelete
  36. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete

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