My latest book is The One Who Swam With The Fishes.

"A mesmerizing account of the well-known story of Matsyagandha ... and her transformation from fisherman’s daughter to Satyavati, Santanu’s royal consort and the Mother/Progenitor of the Kuru clan." - Hindustan Times

"Themes of fate, morality and power overlay a subtle and essential feminism to make this lyrical book a must-read. If this is Madhavan’s first book in the Girls from the Mahabharata series, there is much to look forward to in the months to come." - Open Magazine

"A gleeful dollop of Blytonian magic ... Reddy Madhavan is also able to tackle some fairly sensitive subjects such as identity, the love of and karmic ties with parents, adoption, the first sexual encounter, loneliness, and my favourite, feminist rage." - Scroll

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27 December 2009

Another year, another archive over

Here I sit, listening to a baraat go by on my very noisy street. In the bedroom lies my boy and my suitcase, all packed and good to go for tomorrow. Twenty oh nine, for the Compulsive Confessor at any rate, is over. Good year? Mostly. Bad year? Not so much. Boring year? Some bits, yes.

When did the years start speeding by so fast? Is this an age thing that no one tells you about? Is my life now this, months on fast forward, days on a loop, life that swirls around you? Ten years ago, I graduated from school and had just started college. Ten years! 

I remember last December vividly, I remember the beach, the feel of sand between my toes, the just-the-two-of-us-holiday that me and Ira took, the beginning of long distance and feeling the gap yawning between us, between seas, hating geography for making us so far apart.

I remember January and going for a good friend's wedding. I remember what I wore--a shiny blue dress--I remember the bamboo good luck things we were given, I remember as the newlyweds walked on to the dance floor, he took the mic and sang to her. I remember her tossing the bouquet and watching Ira leap and catch it, while I lurked, chicken-like in the middle of a crowd. 

I remember February and how I went abroad to meet a person I loved for the first time ever. I remember being in England with the English and how everything was so very new. I remember tumbling out of a warm station into the cold night and how just then it began to snow and I saw little flakes of what looked like thermocol balls falling from the sky and I tilted my head back and watched, even as JC hurried me into the car. I remember saying goodbye the second time and how it was harder and yet easier than the first.

March is sort of blurry in my mind. There were many parties and many new people. There was still the darn ol' recession, but there was improvisation. There were new bars. There was joy and impatience, all rolled into one package.

April, oh April, it was getting hotter. And I couldn't write. April meant long sessions with insomnia, house hunting and pottering around the city, looking for my lost muses. 

In May, we moved into our new house, which I still love just as much as I did then. This also meant moving to a posh address, which was a first for me. Another first--living with a boyfriend. All things went swimmingly, considering. I can't imagine being anywhere else.

In June, the monsoon arrived and everything got a respite from being so damn hot all the time. I discovered the joys of having almost anything home delivered. I had a haircut (all grown out now, sadly). I participated (or tried to) in an online Novel Race to see who'd finish first. Best of all, I discovered my lost muse, who had clearly been summering abroad.

In July, I became officially domesticated. I had been fighting it for a while, but then I just sat back and let my inner 50's housewife out. I learnt to cook some things, decorated like a madwoman and entertained. It's fun. 

In August, Small came to visit (and I may as well tell you that her and JC are now BFF) and we went to Goa again. We enjoyed having a houseguest, and she was a model one. I did the gay pride parade and lived to tell the tale. 

In September, long distance began again in earnest. I wrote a little piece of erotica that got published in a book. I went to Chandigarh and Delhi talking about You Are Here, which was very fun and I did my first feature for a foreign publication. Good month for writing. Ooh, and I also bought a camera, which helped me discover a love for photography that I didn't think I had.

In October, we had a crossdressing Halloween party and a garage sale. We did Diwali parties galore. I went to Kerala again and made some new friends. I answered some of your questions--not all--but most. 

In November (was it only last month?), I went to Sri Lanka on a family holiday. It was a year of much travel, I see now, and I am grateful. More please, 2010? The Celebrate Bandra festival happened and I spoke at Olive. In other kudos, I was on NPR, which was a Very Big Deal for me. I learnt to use the new camera a little bit better, which gave me great pleasure.

And finally here we are. The dregs of 2009. The very end, which you need to down quickly and top up your glass. I had a wonderful Christmas, we got a tree and exchanged presents (I got a watch and he got cologne). My friends and I did a Secret Santa gift exchange, which wasn't quite as secret as it should have been, but still fun to do. I saw Avatar and liked it. I got Google Wave and eh, ignored it after a couple of uses. I wrote a whole bunch of things. 

Let my new year be happy. Let new opportunities come through. I am ready for change, 2010, and I can handle it. Let travel happen, let long distance become together-all-the-time, let me figure out cash and jobs. Let me be greedy and ask for more, more, more, and please, give it to me. Let everyone I love be safe and happy this year too. Make it an exciting year, a good year, a year we will not want to say goodbye to.

This is my wish for 2010.


  1. Years just crank along when you hit a threshold. It comes sometime in your twenties. I might sound a bit hokey, but it's like the momentum a rocket achieves. Once it crosses one of those atmospheres (stratosphere?) it ain't stoppin'. ANd if your nose is pointing in the right direction, (clearly your's is) you will enjoy that momentum, else it's one big struggle to turn it around.

    Okay, my preaching is officially over.

    Wish you a great year ahead. Hope to read 'You Are Here' this year!


  2. Here's hoping you have a great year ahead and

    have fun in Goa ;D

  3. All the months you recounting and I can vividly recall all the posts

    A wish for 2010: let there be more posts and a grand launch of your new book

  4. This is a such kinda post where you read and go aawwwwww....

  5. have a fun time in goa and ring in the new year in style...

  6. Been reading your blog for over three years now and just realized that you are exactly two days older than me!

    Happy new year.

  7. I've been reading your archives non-stop since last night. Yes, that's how exciting I find your life as compared to my life that lacks the drama :P

    P.S. Happy New Year.

  8. May all your dreams come true. Happy new year :)

  9. i was eagerly waiting to read this post.. the last one of d year wherein u sum up all of d yr's happs in a post.. n d 6th archive, isn't it? would be interesting for you to be doing it for another yr round.. n for many more yrs to come..

    Wishin u a very happy new yr filled with warmth, cheer, ..n more domestic bliss ;) :)

  10. just read this...n it's 2011... and i cried invisible tears...

    the hope in this post makes me sad...


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