My latest book is The One Who Swam With The Fishes.

"A mesmerizing account of the well-known story of Matsyagandha ... and her transformation from fisherman’s daughter to Satyavati, Santanu’s royal consort and the Mother/Progenitor of the Kuru clan." - Hindustan Times

"Themes of fate, morality and power overlay a subtle and essential feminism to make this lyrical book a must-read. If this is Madhavan’s first book in the Girls from the Mahabharata series, there is much to look forward to in the months to come." - Open Magazine

"A gleeful dollop of Blytonian magic ... Reddy Madhavan is also able to tackle some fairly sensitive subjects such as identity, the love of and karmic ties with parents, adoption, the first sexual encounter, loneliness, and my favourite, feminist rage." - Scroll

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17 August 2004

The Way I Feel Today

Just typed a whole lot and lost it somewhere. And I don't dare type it all over again--- a very weepy post, am at work etc.

I love work. Work keeps me busy. Work keeps me occupied.
I had a "rejuvenating" haircut. My bra-length hair is now no-length hair.
It's only when I'm alone that the problem starts.
So if you see a bawling woman driving, say hi.

PS: Hima and April, thanks for your supportive comments.
PS 2: Would welcome any comments from the men out there about why your sex treats my sex this way.


  1. Hi!

    Stumbled upon your blog by accident,and liked the one on Delhi- I have just left the city after having stayed there for a year and a half. I loved it!

    Have also gone through two failed relationships,(of which one was a really painful break up- felt just like how you felt)before finding the right person.

    And this is what I have to say- in retrospect I realise I was not a perfect either and, my boyfriend and I were actually very incompatible.Love truly blinds us.And life sometimes gives us chances to make a different choice by making us go through a lot of pain.It's like an exclusion process - it is amazing how life gives us choices and warnings.And,when we fight and choose to hold on to the same choice which is not working out- we might end up in real bad situations.

    So,maybe this is good for you in the long run.You might also be learning new stuff about yourself.

    And trust me there are guys who treat women with a whole of care and trust than we could ever imagine!! Just hang in there.

  2. Hima: No more weepy posts, I promise!
    Sunrayz: Thank you for reading and commenting and for your insight. Maybe a year down the line I'll be able to look back on this and realise it's for the best.
    April: Hot men are JUST what I need :)

  3. Men are bastards, that's about all I can say about my gender.

    I don't know you that well, nor your ex, but I can say that things sometimes just work out for the better. My wife had to stay married for 19 years to a bad husband and I had to be in a crappy 4 year non-sexual relationship on my side, but if it weren't for the failed relationships, I wouldn't have met my wife.

    Things will improve - men have insecurities and issues that they always like to blame on the better sex, so don't forget that. Stay occupied, seek refuge in the comfort of friends, and just remember that you've given it your all. If it's not good enough for him, well, he ain't good enough for you! Stay strong!

  4. Diego, Aj, Cacofonix, thank you all for your insights. Yes, I am feeling a lot better now.. but there are still hard days. I hope you guys keep reading :)


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