I've been sitting at home for the past two days, getting terribly bored and morbidly depressed. When you're lying in bed there isn't much to do except read and think. (I got sick of watching television after a while). A couple of friends have come over to see me, but they came at night and left swiftly. I've been playing Sims 2 like a maniac, and you'll be happy to know that one of my Sims has reached the platinum level. (Gosh, I'm such a nerd!) My net was down all of yesterday which sort of added to the depression AND to make matters worse, my cellphone bill arrived yesterday. *Sigh*
But today, today I will go to work. Which means that instead of wearing shorts like I have been, I'm going to have to force my plaster into my jeans.
There really isn't much to blog about, so instead I shall share with you an email I have recieved. I get quite a few emails these days, on my blogs email address too, many more than I get in my "real-life" id. Anyway, to protect this guy, I'm not going to share his name or email id, but if he's reading this, I guess this would suffice as a reply, no?
I like your style. U r so readable and your writing is full of humour, makes one feel light in the head and if one ruminates about it later, one feels a bit sad. I think u r missing out on something and u do not know what. So the eternal search goes on and on.
Right okay, Zen Master. Any more words of wisdom?
There r many more like u out there. I dont blame them. It is the age and time we live in that makes us so. I think u should let go of yurself and enter into a relationship instead of gong in for one night stands and casual sex. U cant say "NO" i can make it out.
Just saying 'no' has always been a problem for me. What an insightful guy!
So, what if i proposition u now? I am sure u wont say no. But the problem is i live in Bombay and u in delhi but we can build a relationship nevertheless. If interested, please respond, but not in your journalese, be a bit more formal, candid and serious.
Um. Um. I'm sorry if my blog gives the impression to ANYONE that I would be willing to sleep with them. Coz I'm not gonna, you know. And yeah, of course, Mr. Anon, your being in Bombay IS the ONLY reason I wouldn't accept your kind offer. Even though it's sad, and we could most definitely "build a relationship". Even though your lack of grammar totally turns me on, revealing the maverick in you. Who needs to type out y. o. u when you can just say 'u'? Oh well, shit happens.
What exactly is my "journalese" by the way? Anyone? No, but since he's asked me to be "formal, candid and serious", here goes:
Dear Mr. Loser,
I'm sorry, but I have to decline your proposition. Better luck next time.
And yeah, DON'T call me baby.
Why are all the crazy people in the world drawn to this site? No, really, WHY???? Is it some kind of "crazy meter" or something that I've set off unknowingly? If you guys have any insight about this, please let me know.
Oh yeah, and henceforth emails should be sent keeping in mind this disclaimer.
1) I have a real life.
2) I might post your mail or refer to it on this blog.
3) Hate/junk mail will be deleted, pronto.
4) I cannot be guaranteed to respond.
5) I WILL NOT sleep with you, your brother or your dog. In fact, if you ask me, I will in all likelihood, make fun of you here.
There we go. Happy emailing, folks. :)