Things I have lost this week: ATM Card (1 item)
Cellphone (1 item)
A shitload of brand new friends contacts (I forget how many items)
The thought that my cat was a female (Two testicular items)
My mind (who knows how many grey cells still remain anyway?)
Things I have gained this week:
Celebrity crush date type thing (ONE HUGE MOTHERFUCKING ITEM)
Invitations to posh parties (four items)
Tickets to Delhi (well, not this week, but I leave this weekend)
Brand new shiny cellphone (Such a very pretty item)
New friendships (Two, quite cool, items)
News that Solidarity Sister Soulmate Leela will be in Delhi exactly the same weekend I am (I'm-so-excited item)
Pink shiny shoes with a killer heel (They make my feet feel like they're dying but oh, such a sexy item)
Things my cat has gained in this week
News that he is a boy (he looks so proud of himself)
News that he is exceptionally good looking (I could have told you that anyway)
News that he's going to be a really, really LARGE cat ('ims is a big puttytat, 'ims is!)
Things my cat will lose in the next month
His balls (Though my male friends seem to be taking personal affront to this one, almost as if I'm suggesting murder. I don't want him spraying all over the house, I explain reasonably. But they look wounded nonetheless. To tc, I say, "I know you've just discovered your balls, but don't get too attached." I think he'll live)
u are taking off his balls??? (almost zapped in horror & disgust)....u really let me down here..i thought so highly of u!!..just one question for u tell me how wud a woman feel...if someone cuts off her breasts???..*sigh*(disgust again)
ReplyDeleteAin't that scritch's cat? Wait till maneka gandhi hears about this :P
ReplyDeletehappy for ur wins.
sigh.
ReplyDeleteit's like getting a female animal spayed. this makes him less inclined to "mark his territory" all over the house and also to want to LEAVE the house facing the hazards of cars, dogs and cruel people. also, less stray kittens running around. it's the humane thing to do, but not a personal attack on his "manlihood".
oh and ps: before i get the angry emails and comments. here:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.associatedcontent.com/article/149236/should_i_spay_or_neuter_my_cat.html
In true Indian babu style, you're supposed to say "one numbers" and not "one item" :))
ReplyDeleteKeep writing. You are a joy to read.
i suggest an experiment. take him to the vet, get 1 ball cut off and let him be for a day or two. then leave him outside and see if he still wants to come back to you. if yes, get the other one chopped too. if no, well... pluck one hair off your body and call it even.
ReplyDeleteits not exactly taking his balls off. it's a vascetomy. so he gets to keep his ball area, so to speak. :) he just loses the tube.
ReplyDeleteEven though your entries are always a pleasure to read I am deeply perturbed to hear about your plans of forced vasectomy of a helpless animal.
ReplyDeleteI would request you to kindly educate your cat to control his urges to prevent indiscriminate spraying!! The possibility of introducing your cat to the benefits of using a condom (at all times) should also be explored...
Thank you for providing me the space to add my two cents.
well u are the owner of the cat & u can do whtever u think is right...but stil i feel that article u quoted is totaly absurd!!..this is no better than keeping caged birds....& to add to this it says its for their own good...by altering natural behaviour of the animals they are trying to prove that they know better than mother nature!!....imagine doing same to a woman so that she doesnt get pregnant if raped & cut off her breasts so that men find her unattractive & shes 'SAFE'...well i am not a PETA fanatic...but stil i felt i should voice my thoughts..no offence meant! take care
ReplyDeleteP.S: on a lighter note..wht if later hes teased by kittens for not being any worthy...wont u feel bad for the cat u care for?? lol
but why does no one feel this strongly about the spaying of female animals? i find this discrimination most sexist, really.
ReplyDeleteohh i feel the same about spaying too...if u had expressed ur desire of spaying some kitten..i would have said the same :)
ReplyDeleteem, don't listen to all those horrified men out there with way too much castration anxiety. they've obviously never had/kept cats. male cats, on discovering their balls, tend to go wandering... and being raised in relatively sheltered circumstances, tend towards getting squished chased and eaten for brekfast by cars, dogs and other cats in that order...
ReplyDeletenot being able to spray and procreate seems a small price to pay for the comforts of home...
ps - how come no one's asking about the hot celebrity date type thing. i, for one, am dying of curiosity...
ReplyDeletewhich, as we all know, kills cats...
Yes...do tell us about the Celebrity crush date type thing... :)
ReplyDeleteanand surely associate himself with male cats, & has surely been beaten around while running with his balls in hands.i wish his mom had done the same with him & spared him the trouble....hence he wud have been a bit more thoughtful right now. wel since he ws too keen on getting personal, he might enjoy reading this.
ReplyDelete@anonymous: thats a good one man.
ReplyDelete@anand: dont u feel everyone can express their views. why u want to prove that u are wiser than others. u appear very narrow minded. tho..i dont think that its really cruel or something but stil they can express their views.
@EM: do whtevr you want.
if you knock off the balls of your tomcat, he's hardly going to become a tomcat. No jowls, no fights, no torn ears, no one-eyed-ness, no biting, nothing.
ReplyDeleteIf you want him to have any personality at all, then please, leave his testicles be.
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ReplyDeleteOH it's a vasectomy, you VILE SENSATIONALIST! Why didn't you say that in your post.
ReplyDeleteAah vasectomies are all good. Then your tomcat gets to keep his balls after all.
'celebrity crush date type thing'..plzzz tell me tht its rahul bose ;) i so much wish so.
ReplyDeletehmmm on the cat issue i have had 2 cats, earlier one was vascetomised after advice, but the poor thing survived only 6 months after tht:( but second one my mom didnt let anyone touch him, and he stil roam like a tiger lol. but really u cnt say wht wil happen in future.
anand: dude we really need more men like u...who promote vascetomy from personal experience??
it'l definitely save some women the trouble.
Shouldn't the "Two testicular item" be moved from the 'Things I have lost this week' list to the 'Things my cat has gained in this week' list?
ReplyDeleteMy OCD kicking in...
when did u turn into a cat person? i always thought u were a dog person!ok, i need to add more content here to reduce the frequency of usage of the word person. oops, i only just added to it.
ReplyDeletecuriosity killed the cat, but for a while i was suspect...
ReplyDeleteok on a different note, see? this kind of writing and style is why i love reading your blog! the sense of humour, mixed with enough facts and some random data all makes for such interesting posts.
anyhow, do feel bad for the cat, but its in a good cause and well, its your cat so its between you guys...
and do we get to know about the celebrity crush thing anytime soon?
I NEED to know where you got those pink shoes from.
ReplyDeleteProcreation is *the* goal of every living being. Read _Selfish Gene_ by Richard Dawkins. If you are neutering that animal before it has created its offspring, you might as well kill it off right now.
ReplyDeleteNo offense to those who don't plan to have kids, but that's nature.
ah, lovely, no rhyming. unless item and items count. and much as your post is amsuing, the reacion of all the men is hilarious! sympathetic pains, all 'round.
ReplyDeletemy cat kicks YOUR cat's butt.
ReplyDeleteit can.
it does.
it will.
it can't not.
it should.
it would.
yes yes my cat kicks your cat's butt.
just in case you're curious about the sex, and just in case you are going to get all 'you call your cat IT?' :
ReplyDeleteshe can.
she does.
she will.
she can't not.
she should.
she would.
she will kick your he-cat's butt.
don't really know why your photo caption got me going like this but NO CAT kicks my cat's butt.
okay?
thank you.
Beautiful cat!
ReplyDelete