eM's quick guide to fighting loneliness

6 June 2007

(Inspired by this song and the fact that one is now newly single)

* Hold your breath. Count to three. Release.

* Take on more stories than you can handle. Talk about work as soon as you wake up.

* Don't blink for longer than you have to.

* Watch television for three hours at a stretch.

* Don't sing.

* Don't dance.

* Don't make any sudden movements.

* Keep your body close and tight. Keep your mind even closer.

* Sleep fitfully. Have nightmares about giant green hands from the sky scooping up people by a beach. Wake up by moonlight and smoke a cigarette.

* Laughing will hurt. Keep it to a smile.

* Let your smile stretch till your jaw hurts and you don't know what you're smiling about anymore.

* Eat a lot.

* Eat nothing at all.

* Rationalise, rationalise, rationalise.

* Never date again.

* Stop thinking about sex.

* Don't watch the rain.

* Contemplate joining a gym.

* Contemplate joining a convent.

* Contemplate going home again.

* Avoid happy couples.

* Avoid happy people.

* Close your eyes. Count to three. Jump.

I'll be just fine. Eventually.

37 confessing back:

  1. Ouch.. EM, U are going to be just fine..

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  2. loneliness is not be fought...just sit back and enjoi when u have it!!.....anyway nice exercise to do

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  3. the post makes for a better song than wilco's song on the lines of luhrmann's sunscreen!

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  4. Awww and I actually got the sense that this relationship was not one you were taking very seriously. But the shite part is that they hurt anyway...

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  5. eM don't jump. I need my reading material ;o)

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  6. Other suggestions:

    Drink
    Go out with friends a lot
    Drink
    Shop a lot
    Drink
    Smoke
    Drink yadda yadda....

    Ps: Ur gng to be fine..time will heal and all tht other crap. Hug

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  7. Yeah, right, eventually ! Eventually everyone is going to die.

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  8. Jump and someone will catch you. Eventually.

    One more thing to do:
    More blogs, cos we look fwd to them

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  9. [joke]Use alcohol....it's a good solve-nt[/joke]

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  10. I stay in a claustrophobic studio apartment somewhere in South Mumbai and have had bouts of loneliness. I have tried these things:

    1. watch loads of tv, my favourite programs were matchmaker, cheaters on reality tv! bikini destinations is not bad either!
    2. get home delivery numbers from every possible restaurant and keep trying new things on their menu card!
    3. enjoy the stuff u can do with ur phone. i enjoy playing golf on my phone while in the toilet. staying alone in a studio apartment means u can watch tv from the toilet!
    4. do think about sex. being of the more deprived category, i do the thinking part lots lest i become an animal on the prowl.

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  11. hey eM,

    I've read your blog ever since you started out and have commented ocassionally but this post made me sad. I hope things get better. Some things that worked for me:
    1. Funny movie or serials
    2. Shopping
    3. Reading oscar wilde. I swear this works.
    4. Girl friends
    5. I-have-never-done-this-before experiments like salsa classes etc

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  12. u write really well....
    jus like the honesty in u r posts

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  13. the more u do all these things the more they'd make u realise how lonely u are.. n longer would be ur stay in this land!
    instead.... get busy living n doing things which make u happier. dont think once really needs company to stay happy :)
    (been stalking ur page/posts for quite sometime now.. love the way u express.. tc)

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  14. the trick is to quickly find another guy to paw..and just paw..all will then magically get okay! been there, done it.

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  15. you'll be fine. that's what you told me no? it's not about you, it's about him. you told me that too. get drunk. you didn't need to tell me that but i'm sure you would have agreed in spirit. :)

    take in all the advice you gave me a few months ago. it was gooooooooood.
    and um one word to mull over one week later: REBOUND.

    muah!

    hobo

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  16. * Avoid happy couples.

    * Avoid happy people.

    This is golden. I learned my lesson the hard way.

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  17. awww....*hug*......
    eM, u've been my mood-hero for the longest time. when i've felt really lonely, i've gone into ur blog and looked up posts where u went through something similar....u've always made me feel like i'm not alone. so today, when u try to fight lonliness, dont think about the one person who went away, think of the hundreds like u who stayed behind to cheer u on. *hug*

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  18. the guy who inspired this post must be feeling like such a stud!! Powerful!! Godlike even!! he he he.. little does he know.....The high point in his life i'm sure...andy warhol's 15 minutes...

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  19. always ALWAYS watch the pitter patter of the rain...

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  20. ofcourse u r going to be just fine. infact better, u r going to be f*&king rocking fine :P
    Now, come on and get urself that handsome hunky rebound guy.

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  21. Hmmm since you use sitemeter.. maybe you should read this
    Disclaimer: Dunno how far this is true

    http://www.bentcorner.com/2007/03/26/site-meter-is-placing-spyware-
    cookies-on-user-websites/

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  22. well i have done all that u have mentioned and been doing it for the last few months..... tried the jump thing and then chickened out!
    have my own additions to the list... lik watchin the rain n crying, not seen a movie or read a novel that will have anything romantic for over a year now! and turly believe that all guys are pigs..... and they just mess your life!
    being lonely sucks! all that remains with you then is your cynicism and the many addictions(that you pick up when you walk down the lonely part) just have to get used to it.............

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  23. "And the first thing that you want
    Will be the last thing you'll ever need
    That's how you fight it"

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  24. read like there's no tomorrow. i've always wished my friends were like books; they never part with you and you can always go back to one and find out what is it about them you miss.
    cheer up em!

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  25. listen to the beatles....their entire discography....every single song....should do the trick...

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  26. and i thought you just had a non-boyfreind..! Why the hurt then?

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  27. I dont think taking more work helps. It somehow never helped, dont know why. I agree with the 'stay away from happy couples' part. that surely helps.
    another thing that helps is alcohol - the best medicine. cheers to old monk

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  28. Of course you will be fine...

    As a friend once said - "Singledom Rocks !!!"

    :)

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  29. i empathize. In the same boat and struggling badly myself. Anything that makes me happy also makes me sad and bawl eventually.

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  30. THE FUCK 10 RULE. a wise friend once told me that in order to get over one relationship, you gotta fuck 10 guys/girls, depending on your gender.....and preference.I cant really tell you how effective it is, but you could give it a shot.

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  31. this one works - stand in front of the mirror and clap your hands

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  32. what if you only know happy couples??
    the made-for-each other forever-and-ever in your eyes types?
    The probably you go meet new people.
    what if everyone is on a happiness binge?
    :(
    sigh.
    sigh.
    trusty time, here i come..
    ps great post

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  33. i agree...nothing helps!
    but reading ur blog sure made it a little better
    :)

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  34. so nice of you to express a realistic feeling.... all guys love it....

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