My latest book is The One Who Swam With The Fishes.

"A mesmerizing account of the well-known story of Matsyagandha ... and her transformation from fisherman’s daughter to Satyavati, Santanu’s royal consort and the Mother/Progenitor of the Kuru clan." - Hindustan Times

"Themes of fate, morality and power overlay a subtle and essential feminism to make this lyrical book a must-read. If this is Madhavan’s first book in the Girls from the Mahabharata series, there is much to look forward to in the months to come." - Open Magazine

"A gleeful dollop of Blytonian magic ... Reddy Madhavan is also able to tackle some fairly sensitive subjects such as identity, the love of and karmic ties with parents, adoption, the first sexual encounter, loneliness, and my favourite, feminist rage." - Scroll

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27 October 2008

Viewer discretion advised: REALLY POINTLESS POST AHEAD*

(*Seriously? You're a glutton for punishment, aren't you? I'll try and make it better by putting some really bad puns between each paragraph, but really, you're better off going no further)

It's one thirty three in the morning and despite a late night yesterday and a fairly early start to today, I'm still not sleepy. I am alone in my house, actually mostly alone in the city, thanks to several people leaving town and this makes me a combination of blue and peaceful.

PUN ONE: Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

I haven't been very pleasant company recently, just a general bout of snappishness and ill humour and so most things are getting under my skin. I feel all meh, and a desire to withdraw from anyone who annoys me--which, I admit, since it's almost witching hour and the time when I tell the truth--is most people these days. I just feel, I don't know, moody, I guess. Off, somehow. Like a dog, curling my lip and growling at anyone who comes too close. And of course, I'm one of those unfortunate individuals who cannot lose their temper without bursting into tears, so most moments are spent feeling the prick of tears behind my deviated nasal septrum (my nose looks like someone broke it so I never take pictures in profile). So, in a way, it's kind of nice to be left alone so that I can get this phase behind me and go back to being fun.

PUN TWO: Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

Although, you know when you've been in a crap mood for a while and you feel like that's never going to go away? That's a little bit like how I feel now. I'd blame it on PMS, but sadly, I don't even have that excuse. Why am I so touchy lately? Has my skin suddenly gone several layers thinner? Am I just bored and fretful? It can't be everyone around me, so it must be me.

PUN THREE: The Buddhist refused pain-killers during the root canal because he wanted to transcend dental medication.

On the other hand, suddenly all the cheques I deposited have been credited, so maybe a little retail therapy is in order. I've been really, really broke recently, which has not helped my mood. If I was a Little Miss t-shirt, I'd be Little Miss Sorry-For-Herself. Hill Road in Bandra has a row of export surplus stalls where I have actually spotted some knock-off Little Miss wear and tomorrow I shall buy myself some clothes and some books and some DVDs and feel happier.

PUN FOUR: A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the brujo looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, who needs enemas?"

We--BB, Ira and I--have been planning a Goa New Year's again this year. Hopefully, JC will be able to make it too, it's the first time in forever I've had a boyfriend for the major December stuff (well, okay, my birthday and New Year's Eve, but my birthday is a major event in the life of me. And my poor friends who have to listen to me countdown. A month to go! Although, turning 27 rather depresses me. 27 is OLD. I can't even put the digits together without shuddering.) Planning, as always, has been rather haphazard, we're thinking of taking the train down, but don't know yet how many people are in our party, or where we'd prefer to stay. Party beach versus quiet beach is our recent debate, and the pros and cons of each have been discussed. I love Goa though, no matter what time of the year, so I can't wait for it to be almost next year!

PUN FIVE: What do you call a arrogant fugitive falling from a building? Condescending.

Plans for Hallowali are in full swing. Well, again, kinda. I have lots of alcohol left over from the launch after party, so I don't need to fix that. Just a general spring cleaning is required and someone to help me get into my costume, but the few people who are coming are fun so I'm not stressing too much about it.

PUN SIX: I keep reading 'The Lord of the Rings' over and over. I guess it's just force of hobbit.

You know the great thing about blogging? You can start out feeling all crappy and wide awake and by the end of it, you feel lulled and soothed. So even though I've just written perhaps the most pointless post ever (hey, but I DID warn you in the post title!), I feel much better. Thank you, internet and please bless everyone I love and grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to not punch people even if I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen.

Puns courtesy this site and this one.


  1. Couldnt stop.

    Colleague: I am still catching up with lot of shows on my TIVO.
    Me - Are you done with the seinfeld's?

  2. You're right!! That post was pointless. Remind me to listen to you in future..

  3. Not pointless..themeless. Works for me though!!
    You are an author and you continue to be broke? Say that you were exaggerating..please? (I like to believe authors are rich, i know better though but still..)
    Good luck for the party!(last i knew i used to wish people luck for their exams, interviews; times change and how!) lol

  4. ooh... now you even write for the mumbai mirror? but, that's not you in the photo, is it?
    ps: come down to goa for new year! yay!

  5. That was a very pun't'less post indeed. :P

  6. ah...just the kind of thing i'd scribble down when stuck with Tamil room mates in a hot stuffy hostel room on a day when the mess refuses to cook anything but thair sadam....take it easy em... at least you are buying new clothes n books tomorrow... :)

  7. Hello! Have a couple of comments on your posts collecting in my head for sometime.. so here goes,

    why Hallowali? Why not Diwalloween?

    Why am I also one of those unfortunate people who cannot get angry without their eyes tearing up?

    I just read your book a few days ago. And I had to ask you one question, what was that about not using public loos and the ummwhatchamacallit, shower pipe thingie?

    Pleis to enlighten. Kthxbai

  8. ok...knock off lil miss tshirts calls for a comment.. where in hill road exactly??

  9. 27 is not old, and you know it.

    I'd have to say the condescending one is one of my favs. It's horribly lame, like the misunderstanding one we've all heard while in school. But that's what makes it so good :)

  10. A midget fortune teller escaped from the local jail.
    The newspaper headline read: Short medium at large.

    You know you've finally given up trying to act sane when these things amuse you.

  11. absolute delight for me ..
    what do you call a broken pencil ...pointless :)
    have added you to my blog roll hope you wont mind a learner are awesome .thanks for sharing the puns..
    happy hallowali :D

  12. absolute delight for me ..
    what do you call a broken pencil ...pointless :)
    have added you to my blog roll hope you wont mind a learner are awesome .thanks for sharing the puns..
    happy hallowali :D

  13. THAT was Punny:P
    Besties for ur party:D

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  17. Just finished reading your book... I've been mulling over the ending since morning, and the sense of loss that ensued post-closure, naturally, blamed you for not having done justice to it (the end). But I eventually realised that I just didn't want the book to end, so even if you'd done wonders to the last bit, I'd still be crying out for more. So here I am, digging through your posts... Please keep writing. Coz I know I'll never get enough...

    P.S.: I've been dying to know your sun-sign throughout the read; as it happens with most of the authors I relate to... Cancerian? Water sign? *fingers crossed*

  18. @ amen - i think it was established that her bday is in december.... so either saggitarius or capricorn.
    @eM - hope the hallowali party gives you enough meat for a new post.

  19. eM's capricorn :)

    eM...doesn't it feel weird that people know such details about u?

  20. one more.....

    A tennis player quoted....
    “I don't know whether I prefer Astroturf to grass. I never smoked Astroturf.”

  21. Arent u the girl who writes on blog improvement..
    Thanks for all those tips!
    And yeah, nice blog u got here :)

  22. yay! im in goa over NYE as well AND spending a day in bombay coming in and going out.

    Quiet beach is the only way to go for us wisened folk...let me know your dates, your beach and your scene..we've got to grab a drink together. T will be with me ofcourse so itll be all lovely etc etc.

  23. sad pjs wer pointless i guess...nt d post!!

  24. Some blogger just compared me to you. Mentioning the word 'sleazy', along with it.

    Guess, honesty is hard to accept.

  25. everyone has the right to feel crappy and irritated sometimes! u have all freedom to want to be alone.. mindless yet great post!

  26. I was at home once and thought it would be nice to write a pointless blog, but watched 'Ace Ventura When Nature Calls' for the third time .. was that pointless or wot?


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