27 October 2008

Viewer discretion advised: REALLY POINTLESS POST AHEAD*

(*Seriously? You're a glutton for punishment, aren't you? I'll try and make it better by putting some really bad puns between each paragraph, but really, you're better off going no further)

It's one thirty three in the morning and despite a late night yesterday and a fairly early start to today, I'm still not sleepy. I am alone in my house, actually mostly alone in the city, thanks to several people leaving town and this makes me a combination of blue and peaceful.

PUN ONE: Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.


I haven't been very pleasant company recently, just a general bout of snappishness and ill humour and so most things are getting under my skin. I feel all meh, and a desire to withdraw from anyone who annoys me--which, I admit, since it's almost witching hour and the time when I tell the truth--is most people these days. I just feel, I don't know, moody, I guess. Off, somehow. Like a dog, curling my lip and growling at anyone who comes too close. And of course, I'm one of those unfortunate individuals who cannot lose their temper without bursting into tears, so most moments are spent feeling the prick of tears behind my deviated nasal septrum (my nose looks like someone broke it so I never take pictures in profile). So, in a way, it's kind of nice to be left alone so that I can get this phase behind me and go back to being fun.

PUN TWO: Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

Although, you know when you've been in a crap mood for a while and you feel like that's never going to go away? That's a little bit like how I feel now. I'd blame it on PMS, but sadly, I don't even have that excuse. Why am I so touchy lately? Has my skin suddenly gone several layers thinner? Am I just bored and fretful? It can't be everyone around me, so it must be me.

PUN THREE: The Buddhist refused pain-killers during the root canal because he wanted to transcend dental medication.

On the other hand, suddenly all the cheques I deposited have been credited, so maybe a little retail therapy is in order. I've been really, really broke recently, which has not helped my mood. If I was a Little Miss t-shirt, I'd be Little Miss Sorry-For-Herself. Hill Road in Bandra has a row of export surplus stalls where I have actually spotted some knock-off Little Miss wear and tomorrow I shall buy myself some clothes and some books and some DVDs and feel happier.

PUN FOUR: A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the brujo looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, who needs enemas?"

We--BB, Ira and I--have been planning a Goa New Year's again this year. Hopefully, JC will be able to make it too, it's the first time in forever I've had a boyfriend for the major December stuff (well, okay, my birthday and New Year's Eve, but my birthday is a major event in the life of me. And my poor friends who have to listen to me countdown. A month to go! Although, turning 27 rather depresses me. 27 is OLD. I can't even put the digits together without shuddering.) Planning, as always, has been rather haphazard, we're thinking of taking the train down, but don't know yet how many people are in our party, or where we'd prefer to stay. Party beach versus quiet beach is our recent debate, and the pros and cons of each have been discussed. I love Goa though, no matter what time of the year, so I can't wait for it to be almost next year!

PUN FIVE: What do you call a arrogant fugitive falling from a building? Condescending.

Plans for Hallowali are in full swing. Well, again, kinda. I have lots of alcohol left over from the launch after party, so I don't need to fix that. Just a general spring cleaning is required and someone to help me get into my costume, but the few people who are coming are fun so I'm not stressing too much about it.

PUN SIX: I keep reading 'The Lord of the Rings' over and over. I guess it's just force of hobbit.

You know the great thing about blogging? You can start out feeling all crappy and wide awake and by the end of it, you feel lulled and soothed. So even though I've just written perhaps the most pointless post ever (hey, but I DID warn you in the post title!), I feel much better. Thank you, internet and please bless everyone I love and grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to not punch people even if I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen.

Puns courtesy this site and this one.

33 comments:

  1. Couldnt stop.

    Colleague: I am still catching up with lot of shows on my TIVO.
    Me - Are you done with the seinfeld's?

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  2. You're right!! That post was pointless. Remind me to listen to you in future..

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  3. Not pointless..themeless. Works for me though!!
    You are an author and you continue to be broke? Say that you were exaggerating..please? (I like to believe authors are rich, i know better though but still..)
    Good luck for the party!(last i knew i used to wish people luck for their exams, interviews; times change and how!) lol
    Cheers!
    S.

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  4. ooh... now you even write for the mumbai mirror? but, that's not you in the photo, is it?
    ps: come down to goa for new year! yay!

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  5. That was a very pun't'less post indeed. :P

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  6. Dayem! I thought the puns were all your own! :(

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  7. ah...just the kind of thing i'd scribble down when stuck with Tamil room mates in a hot stuffy hostel room on a day when the mess refuses to cook anything but thair sadam....take it easy em... at least you are buying new clothes n books tomorrow... :)

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  8. Hello! Have a couple of comments on your posts collecting in my head for sometime.. so here goes,

    why Hallowali? Why not Diwalloween?

    Why am I also one of those unfortunate people who cannot get angry without their eyes tearing up?

    I just read your book a few days ago. And I had to ask you one question, what was that about not using public loos and the ummwhatchamacallit, shower pipe thingie?

    Pleis to enlighten. Kthxbai

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  9. ok...knock off lil miss tshirts calls for a comment.. where in hill road exactly??

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  10. 27 is not old, and you know it.

    I'd have to say the condescending one is one of my favs. It's horribly lame, like the misunderstanding one we've all heard while in school. But that's what makes it so good :)

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  11. A midget fortune teller escaped from the local jail.
    The newspaper headline read: Short medium at large.

    You know you've finally given up trying to act sane when these things amuse you.

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  12. absolute delight for me ..
    what do you call a broken pencil ...pointless :)
    have added you to my blog roll hope you wont mind ..am a learner ..you are awesome .thanks for sharing the puns..
    happy hallowali :D

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  13. absolute delight for me ..
    what do you call a broken pencil ...pointless :)
    have added you to my blog roll hope you wont mind ..am a learner ..you are awesome .thanks for sharing the puns..
    happy hallowali :D

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  14. THAT was Punny:P
    sadness..ANYWAY
    Besties for ur party:D

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  18. Just finished reading your book... I've been mulling over the ending since morning, and the sense of loss that ensued post-closure, naturally, blamed you for not having done justice to it (the end). But I eventually realised that I just didn't want the book to end, so even if you'd done wonders to the last bit, I'd still be crying out for more. So here I am, digging through your posts... Please keep writing. Coz I know I'll never get enough...

    P.S.: I've been dying to know your sun-sign throughout the read; as it happens with most of the authors I relate to... Cancerian? Water sign? *fingers crossed*

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  19. @ amen - i think it was established that her bday is in december.... so either saggitarius or capricorn.
    @eM - hope the hallowali party gives you enough meat for a new post.

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  20. eM's capricorn :)

    eM...doesn't it feel weird that people know such details about u?

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  21. one more.....


    A tennis player quoted....
    “I don't know whether I prefer Astroturf to grass. I never smoked Astroturf.”

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  22. Arent u the girl who writes on blog improvement..
    Thanks for all those tips!
    And yeah, nice blog u got here :)

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  23. yay! im in goa over NYE as well AND spending a day in bombay coming in and going out.

    Quiet beach is the only way to go for us wisened folk...let me know your dates, your beach and your scene..we've got to grab a drink together. T will be with me ofcourse so itll be all lovely etc etc.

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  24. Some blogger just compared me to you. Mentioning the word 'sleazy', along with it.

    Guess, honesty is hard to accept.

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  25. everyone has the right to feel crappy and irritated sometimes! u have all freedom to want to be alone.. mindless yet great post!

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  26. I was at home once and thought it would be nice to write a pointless blog, but watched 'Ace Ventura When Nature Calls' for the third time .. was that pointless or wot?

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  27. 塑料托盘,塑料栈板 四川塑料托盘,塑料栈板 成都塑料托盘,塑料栈板 自贡塑料托盘,塑料栈板 攀枝花塑料托盘,塑料栈板 泸州塑料托盘,塑料栈板 德阳塑料托盘,塑料栈板 绵阳塑料托盘,塑料栈板 广元塑料托盘,塑料栈板 遂宁塑料托盘,塑料栈板 内江塑料托盘,塑料栈板 乐山塑料托盘,塑料栈板 南充塑料托盘,塑料栈板 宜宾塑料托盘,塑料栈板 广安塑料托盘,塑料栈板 达州塑料托盘,塑料栈板 仓储货架|仓库货架|托盘|仓储笼 仓储货架|仓库货架|托盘|仓储笼 仓储货架|仓库货架|托盘|仓储笼 仓储货架|仓库货架|托盘|仓储笼 轻型仓储货架|轻量型仓库货架|库房货架 货架厂|货架公司|南京货架 中量型仓储货架|中量A型仓库货架|库房货架 货架厂|货架公司|南京货架 中量型仓储货架|中量B型仓库货架|库房货架 货架厂|货架公司|南京货架 横梁式仓库货架|重型仓储货架|货位式库房货架 货架厂|货架公司|南京货架 模具货架|抽屉式仓库货架|仓储货架|库房货架 货架厂|货架公司|南京货架 贯通式仓储货架|通廊式仓库货架|驶入式库房货架 货架厂|货架公司|南京货架 悬臂式仓储货架|仓库货架|库房货架 货架厂|货架公司|南京货架 阁楼式仓储货架|仓库货架|库房货架|钢平台 货架厂|货架公司|南京货架 流利式仓储货架|仓库货架|库房货架|辊轮式货架|自滑式货架 货架厂|货架公司|南京货架 工作台|工作桌 工具柜|工具车 托盘|塑料托盘|钢托盘|铁托盘|钢制托盘 仓储笼|仓库笼|折叠式仓储笼|蝴蝶笼 周转箱|塑料周转箱 静音手推车|铁板手推车|购物手推车|登高车 手动液压托盘搬运车|不锈钢搬运车|电子秤搬运车 高起升搬运车|电动搬运车|平台车 手动液压堆高车|手动液压堆垛车|半电动堆垛车 全电动堆垛车|油桶搬运车|圆桶搬运车|油桶装卸车| 柴油内燃平衡重式叉车|电动平衡重式叉车 液压升降机|剪叉式高空作业平台|固定式蹬车桥 文件柜 不锈钢制品 零件盒|零件柜 折叠式仓储笼|仓库笼 钢托盘 钢制料箱 堆垛架 物流台车 手推车 钢托盘 折叠式仓储笼|仓库笼 折叠式仓储笼|仓库笼 钢托盘|钢制托盘|铁托盘|金属托盘|镀锌托盘 堆垛架|巧固架 钢制料箱 物流台车|载物台车 手推车|静音手推车 手推车|静音手推车 仓储笼|钢托盘|钢制料箱|堆垛架|物流台车|手推车 仓储笼|钢托盘 仓储笼 仓库货架|中量A型货架 仓储货架|中量B型货架 库房货架|横梁式货架 塑料托盘|栈板 钢托盘|钢制托盘 折叠式仓储笼|仓库笼 仓储笼|仓库笼|折叠式仓储笼 托盘|钢托盘 托盘|塑料托盘 周转箱|塑料周转箱 托盘|纸托盘 料箱|钢制料箱 工具柜|工具车|抽屉柜 工作台|工作桌 刀具柜|刀具车|刀具架 手动液压托盘搬运车|电动托盘搬运车 手动液压堆高车|手动叉车 仓储笼 仓库笼 南京仓储笼 常州仓储笼 无锡仓储笼 苏州仓储笼 徐州仓储笼 南通仓储笼 镇江仓储笼 连云港仓储笼 泰州仓储笼 扬州仓储笼 盐城仓储笼 淮安仓储笼 宿迁仓储笼 轻量型货架|角钢货架 中量A型货架 中量B型货架 货位式货架 横梁式货架 阁楼式货架|钢平台 悬臂式货架 贯通式货架|通廊式货架|驶入式货架 辊轮式货架|流利条货架 压入式货架 移动式货架|密集架 模具货架 抽屉式货架 汽车4S店货架 汽配库货架 自动化立体仓库货架 托盘|钢托盘|钢制托盘 托盘|塑料托盘 托盘|塑料托盘 托盘|塑料托盘 仓储笼|仓库笼|折叠式仓储笼 手推车|铁板手推车 手推车|静音手推车 置物架|工业置物架|家用置物架 堆垛架|巧固架 挂板架|物料整理架 登高车 物流台车|载物台车 料箱|钢制料箱 搬运车|手动液压托盘搬运车|电动托盘搬运车 堆高机|堆垛机|手动堆高机|电动堆高机 叉车|电动叉车|内燃叉车|叉车厂 货架 货架 仓储货架 仓储货架 仓库货架 仓库货架 货架厂 货架厂 货架公司 货架公司 托盘 钢托盘 铁托盘 钢制托盘 塑料托盘 仓储笼 仓库笼 折叠式仓储笼 折叠仓储笼 仓储货架|仓库货架|库房货架 南京货架|横梁式货架|中型货架 钢托盘|塑料托盘|纸托盘 仓储笼|仓库笼|折叠式仓储笼 钢制料箱|工具柜|工作台 手动液压托盘搬运车|手动液压堆高车 仓库货架|中量A型货架> 仓储货架|横梁式货架|货位式货架 托盘|塑料托盘|钢制托盘|纸托盘 仓储笼|仓库笼|折叠式仓储笼|蝴蝶笼|储物笼 手动液压托盘搬运车|手动液压堆高车 仓库货架|中量A型货架 仓储货架|横梁式货架|货位式货架 托盘|塑料托盘|钢制托盘|纸托盘 仓储笼|折叠式仓储笼|仓库笼|蝴蝶笼|储物笼 手动液压托盘搬运车|手动液压堆高车 仓储货架|仓库货架|库房货架 南京货架|中型货架|横梁式货架 钢托盘|钢制托盘|塑料托盘|纸托盘 仓储笼|仓库笼|折叠式仓储笼 钢制料箱|工具柜|工作台 手动液压托盘搬运车|手动液压堆高车 仓库货架|中量A型货架 仓储货架|中量B型货架 库房货架|横梁式货架|货位式货架 钢托盘|钢制托盘|铁托盘|栈板 托盘|塑料托盘|栈板 纸托盘|栈板 仓储笼|仓库笼|折叠式仓储笼|蝴蝶笼|储物笼 钢制料箱|钢制周转箱|网格式料箱 搬运车|手动液压托盘搬运车|电动托盘搬运车 仓库货架|中量A型货架 仓储货架|中量B型货架 库房货架|横梁式货架|货位式货架 钢托盘|钢制托盘|铁托盘|栈板 塑料托盘|塑料栈板 纸托盘|栈板 仓储笼|仓库笼|折叠式仓储笼|蝴蝶笼|储物笼 钢制料箱|钢质周转箱|网格式料箱 手动液压托盘搬运车|液压搬运车 仓储货架|>仓库货架|库房货架 南京货架|中型货架|横梁式货架 钢托盘|钢制托盘|塑料托盘|纸托盘 仓储笼|仓库笼|折叠式仓储笼 钢制料箱|工具柜|工作台 手动液压托盘搬运车|手动液压堆高车 仓库货架|中量A型货架 仓储货架|中量B型货架 库房货架|横梁式货架|货位式货架 钢托盘|钢制托盘|铁托盘|栈板 塑料托盘|塑料栈板 纸托盘|栈板 仓储笼|仓库笼|折叠式仓储笼|蝴蝶笼|储物笼 钢制料箱|钢质周转箱|网格式料箱 手动液压托盘搬运车|托盘搬运车 货架|仓储货架|仓库货架|库房货架 南京货架|上海货架|北京货架 轻型货架|中型货架|搁板式货架 重型货架|横梁式货架|托盘式货架 托盘|木托盘|纸托盘|木塑托盘 托盘|钢托盘|塑料托盘|钢制托盘 仓储笼|仓库笼|折叠式仓储笼 手推车|静音手推车|铁板手推车 物料架|整理架|挂板架 料箱|钢制料箱|钢制周转箱|网格式料箱 手动液压托盘搬运车|电动托盘搬运车 手动液压堆高车|半电动堆高车|手动叉车 塑料周转箱|物流箱|塑料化工桶|塑料卡板箱 工具柜|上海工具柜|南京工具柜|抽屉柜 工作台|工作桌|南京工作台|上海工作台 刀具车|刀具柜|刀具架|刀具座 货架 货架厂 货架公司 仓储货架 仓库货架 库房货架 南京货架 上海货架 托盘 钢托盘 钢制托盘 货架|轻量型货架|角钢货架 货架|中量型货架|次重型货架 货位式货架|横梁式货架|重量型货架 仓储货架|阁楼式货架|钢平台 仓储货架|悬臂式货架 仓储货架|贯通式货架|通廊式货架|驶入式货架 仓库货架|库房货架|抽屉式货架|模具货架 仓库货架|库房货架|汽车4S店货架|汽配库货架 货架厂|货架公司|南京货架|上海货架|无锡货架|苏州货架 货架厂|货架公司|北京货架|天津货架|沈阳货架|大连货架 货架厂|货架公司|广州货架|深圳货架|杭州货架 托盘|钢托盘|钢制托盘 托盘|塑料托盘 仓储笼|仓库笼|折叠式仓储笼 置物架|多功能置物架|卫浴置物架 料箱|钢制料箱|钢制周转箱 手动液压托盘搬运车|不锈钢托盘搬运车|电动托盘搬运车 手动液压堆高车|半电动堆高车|电动堆高车|堆垛车 货架 仓储货架 仓库货架 货架厂 货架公司 托盘 钢托盘 铁托盘 钢制托盘 塑料托盘 仓储笼 仓库笼 折叠式仓储笼 折叠仓储笼 货架 货架 货架 仓储货架 仓储货架 仓储货架 仓库货架 仓库货架 货架厂 货架厂 货架公司 货架公司 托盘 钢托盘 铁托盘 钢制托盘 塑料托盘 仓储笼 仓库笼 折叠式仓储笼 货架 货架 货架 仓储货架 仓储货架 仓储货架 仓库货架 仓库货架 仓库货架 货架厂 货架厂 货架厂 货架公司 货架公司 货架公司 托盘 钢托盘 铁托盘 钢制托盘 塑料托盘 仓储笼 仓库笼 折叠式仓储笼 折叠仓储笼 托盘 塑料托盘 钢托盘 钢制托盘 铁托盘 货架厂 仓储笼 仓库笼 折叠式仓储笼 折叠仓储笼 南京货架 货架公司 货架厂 仓库货架 仓储货架 货架 货架

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