10 April 2005

Running With The Wolves

Tonight, I left work, very exhausted and ravenous--which is not a pretty combination, I can assure you, because you're starving and you're wondering whether you have enough energy to eat etc--also a little happy, because yay, it's the weekend and all, and that's one whole day not to think about work. (So who am I kidding? I'm going to think about work). Anyway, so I unlocked my car and did the usual 'fix-mirrors-wear-seatbelt-pull-out-music-system-plug-phone-into-handsfree' thing that I do, when I heard this enormous roar--not animal-like, but rather as if an extremely large generator had suddenly been put on. And checking the rearview mirror, I saw headlights and people gathering around. And then, the roar grew louder and almost deafening and like magic, about nine or ten Enfields all zoomed out of the narrow lane, one after another.

Those Enfields got me thinking. I'm not very excitable about many mechanical things--sparkplugs and cc engines bore me to tears. But I do get excited about zippy methods of transport. Cars, for instance, and motorcycles. I love Enfields. I love their heartbeat sound when you get on them and they go 'put-put-put' in a friendly manner. You can keep your silent machines, I like something that talks to me, when I get on, that vibrates gently when I straddle it. Did that sound sexual? It was meant to. Motorcycles excite most women I think, because of the phallic imagery they represent. And you're riding it. On the streets! A man who rides a motorcycle is therefore someone with equipment--packed full of horsepower and who isn't afraid to use it. Men ride motorcycles like extensions of themselves, women ride them with a sort of thrill--this is me, I'm doing this, I'm moving my body, I'm a goddess! Even if you're not driving it yourself, even if you're just sitting behind someone who's driving it, there's always sexual tension, brought on by the proximity of the person in front of you and the steady vibrating between your legs.

I knew someone once who had sex on a motorcycle. No, no, not while he was driving. But when it was parked and acted as a piece of furniture. Now, making out in a car is normal. It's something probably everyone's done. It's a little uncomfortable, if you're in the front seat, because the gear shift keeps getting in the way and in the backseat, hell, it's like being in your bed or something. But sex on a bike, now that must be different. The bike surely becomes an able and willing accessory , something to heighten your pleasure.

And as I drove home, I thought of the woman I had once seen when I was stuck in a jam, during monsoon season, with light drizzle threatening to turn into downpour. I was drumming my fingers impatiently and at the side of the road, where all the cyclists and scooter-guys are, I saw a woman on an Enfield. She was a small person, the bike dwarfed her, and her jeans were ripped and I saw a red bandanna under her helmet and a leather bracelet on her wrist, which had the tendons sticking out from her effort and I wanted to be her friend. Actually, no, I want to be the Woman On The Motorcycle. Even when I'm driving my car.

17 comments:

  1. Salud. But it is the Royal Enfield or the Bullet. Never just the Enfield (that would include the 200 cc aberration, also known as the Pellet)

    And the Bullet does NOT go put-put. It throbs like the sub-woofer on a 5000 watt system.

    J.A.P.

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  2. Well, fine then, if you're going to nitpick :P
    But I still maintain it goes put-put, albeit, a LOUD put-put, but put-put nonetheless :)

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  3. Well, I think it goes put-put too. However, if you held a mic to it, THEN, it would sound like a beat coming from a sub-woofer.

    he he he... i know that was a crazy description... :-D

    But hey! I read in Amit Varma's blog that JAP is a senior IAS officer! Man!! Really cool! Boy! So, blogspace is full of famous journos [ eM, I am inclined to belive you are one of those :-) ], IAS officers and all!

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  4. I watched this show on BBC World called Speed that was about... well, fast and furious things. You might want to catch it if you haven't already. It's by their motoring correspondent guy with the big hair and the great scripts.

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  5. adore your blog..maybe cuz ur frm delhi and go to the same places i miss so much..TC is like a second home :P... and also the bridget jones references.. uncanny . added u as a link to my blog btw hope thts ok, be good

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  6. Mandar: Hmmm.. famous? Well, perhaps, JAP, but me, I'm just a 'umble reporter. Very 'umble! :)
    Thanks for compliment though, and re-validation of 'put-put' noise!

    Mangs: Nope, haven't seen it. Will though. Couldja tell me what time and day, please?

    K: Thanks for the link! But..hmm.. surprised about the 'Mynna' bit. And I haven't made a reference to Bridget Jones in ages! You must've been reading the archives. :)

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  7. You might want to check out "Girl on the Motorcycle" (1969), starring Marianne Faithfull and Alain Delon. In those days, they (bikes) set you free more often than got you off:-)

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  8. Partisan: Sounds like a good movie.. though I must clarify.. I don't "get off" on bikes, whatever it may sound like on the post, I just thought there was a possibility of it happening :)

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  9. Hey eM!
    Humble people are the ones who scale the greatest heights. You will surely be a big-time, sought-after journalist, one day!

    ( Unless you are one already, and are just being very modest about it. :-) )

    Amen!

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  10. yeap.. kinda did the whole stalking thing by reading more than half of your archives... but that's what they're there for :P help me put off studying for an hour btw.

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  11. Alright, alright here ya go.

    I love that bike. I sooo want to buy a Thuderbird !

    I've always had a healthy interest in sex and all things related.. and find the idea sex in public spaces and general naughtiness even very exciting and healthy. But sex on a bike is a bit too 'open' - not in terms of other people watching, but in terms of the 'my space' kinda feeling... so...

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  12. j.a.p. is correct its either THE bullet or THE royal enfield...

    so funny i was just gonna start writing something on them ...

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  13. I agree with Vig. You've got to have one hell of a kick stand to do that.

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  14. Hasn't anyone here EVER heard of poetic license? :)

    You totally should, it allows me to get away with many things--just plain Enfield for example, or telling you about MY FRIEND who had sex on a bike. (Maybe I should have put up a disclaimer, saying: kids don't try this at home!)

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  15. Nice. Finally a post about something which I really like. Much to my wife's frustration, I am not a car person. I would rather drive a bike.

    Bikes are great fun; they give me the feeling of openness which I don't get in a car (I have never driven a convertible, though).

    Funny, I was thinking of posting something on my blog about all the interesting things I have done in my life. One of them was driving from San Fransisco to Monterey and back on a Suzuki Bandit 650, with a license which might have been invalid in California, and without insurance.

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  16. in response to :
    "One of them was driving from San Fransisco to Monterey and back on a Suzuki Bandit 650,"

    oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck..!!!

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  17. Bike person! :)
    Am torn between wanting to be a biker meself, or just settling for being some biker's babe... which is easier - knee-high leather boots, black itsy top, purple pout, and you're 'it'!... eh?

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