My latest book is The One Who Swam With The Fishes.

"A mesmerizing account of the well-known story of Matsyagandha ... and her transformation from fisherman’s daughter to Satyavati, Santanu’s royal consort and the Mother/Progenitor of the Kuru clan." - Hindustan Times

"Themes of fate, morality and power overlay a subtle and essential feminism to make this lyrical book a must-read. If this is Madhavan’s first book in the Girls from the Mahabharata series, there is much to look forward to in the months to come." - Open Magazine

"A gleeful dollop of Blytonian magic ... Reddy Madhavan is also able to tackle some fairly sensitive subjects such as identity, the love of and karmic ties with parents, adoption, the first sexual encounter, loneliness, and my favourite, feminist rage." - Scroll



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3 July 2005

Link slut and now list whore. Clearly I am promiscuous





Top four things that made me realise I am finally over K.

4) I am more jealous of the fact that he has an iPod than I am over the fact that he might be sleeping with girls who are prettier than me.

3) I can get drunk around him and not want to hit on him

2) I am able to talk about his good points and nice times we had together in a perfectly mature manner, without saying "That rat bastard" more than once.

And the number one, ultra-reason I know I am over K is because Friday would've been our three year anniversary and I was sure I would be miserable and nerve racked but I so wasn't. I thought about it once or twice but as an aside not as something that would make me unhappy, just as an event that happened to a girl a long time ago. And I also realised that I would NOT in a million years, wish myself back a year. No way. I like me now too much.

Hear that K? You're an aside. Not only are you an aside but this is the last time I will mention you on this blog. These are the last words about you that shall be coaxed out of the keyboard by my chapped fingertips. No more will you have to dance in public view on the world wide web for hundreds of voyeurs. Go now.

(That being said, you're NEVER getting back your basketball jersey that I sleep in. EN-ever.)



Things about me I don't think I've mentioned yet on this blog

a) I am very uncomfortable in crowds.
b) The one drink that is my undoing is the Electric Lemonade.
c) The best Electric Lemonade I have ever drunk is in TGIF in Connaught Place. Dee and I used to try and make some for ourselves at home, and sit around every night in the sticky heat in our nightclothes and drink and smoke and talk.
d) I'm not very good with physical intimacy--and I'm talking anything even hugs from friends that go on for too long. This has sometimes led to problems with Boys.
e) But I'm working on it.
f) I like the smell of petrol, Erasex and pencil shavings.
g) I'm always a little envious of my friend's successes, even if I am happy for them. This makes me feel like a horrible person.
h) I used to identify with Ally McBeal.
i) I forget birthdays.
j) I suspect I might not be as pretty as I think I am.
k) Backrubs make me happy.
l) This is because I have very tense shoulder and neck muscles which are agony at the end of some days.
m) PMS is the only thing that can floor me.
n) I suspect I might be emotionally stronger than I think I am.
o) I sound a lot more interesting on my blog than I am in real life.
p) I also sound like I'm running myself down a lot, when really, truly, I have not THAT many self-esteem issues.
q) I can't stand beer. It makes me gag.
r) I like the smell of Pleasures and J'adore and Cool Water. These are all perfumes I would like to smell of.
s) I use T-Girl and Isis, but I'm getting a little bored of them.
t) I want a tattoo of a dragonfly on my lower back.
u) I watch mainstream romantic comedies and animated movies. Not much else. I am shocking illiterate when it comes to films. I am not ashamed to admit this NOW, though I used to be.
v) Some days I just want to drive and drive and drive and drive till I'm out of the city and somewhere I've never been.
w) I once wrote Valentines for all my friends, cut out little red hearts out of chart paper and put a song lyric on each one, to describe each person. This was first year college. The next year, Iggy and I wrote a public letter on how Valentine's Day was consumer exploitation and we xeroxed it and pinned it up on every department board.
y) Sometimes I show off.
z) I love blogging more than I think is healthy.

(Read the original post that inspired this one. I think everyone else should have a list too. Give it a shot, it's good fun)



Meh. P'raps I'm not as slutty as I thought I was. Can't think of any more lists, though I had thought of a whole bunch when I was driving home today. Oh well. Have a good weekend. It's 11.03 on a Saturday night and all I can think of is getting into my night shirt and going to bed. My weekend begins only tomorrow and ends tomorrow night. How sad.

My brain does this new thing where it remembers something I had to write about an hour after I posted the post making me edit and re-do
So today I came home and I parked my car and all and I saw the little girl who lives downstairs deep in conversation with her friend. I know most of the little girls who live in my apartments because they have this most disconcerting habit of yelling, "Hello Didi!" as I pass. Sometimes they'll do it as a chorus, other times individually, little "Hello Didi's" which I have to reply to. Sometimes only one will say it and the rest will watch me. (Once a bunch of the smaller kids came to my door. "Aunty, can we have some water?" they asked. Aunty? I looked behind me to see if my mother had suddenly appeared but noooooooooooooooooo, they were talking to meeeeeeeeeeee. I'm too young to be an Aunty! But I'm happy to sayI snarled at them as I gave them the water and they got very scared and scampered off and never came back. That'll teach them to call me Aunty)
Anyway, so these two little girls were much too engrossed in their conversation to notice me and I thought how sweet is the prattle of little girls and passed them. And then I overheard their conversation.
Girl 1: I mean, I'm forty. Look at me.
Girl 2: Ya, you look forty.
Girl 1: So I thought Sahira must be at least 40.
Girl 2: She's not?
Girl 1: No.
(Ominous pause)
Girl 1: She's fifty.

I don't think my friends and I discussed weight at that age. (Though I must admit a certain fierce pride at weighing less than poor fat unloved Sahira) And they call me aunty.

Have a happy Sunday.

IMPORTANT UPDATE, TUESDAY 12.40 pm:

I now own this.

So I can do this:

Say hello to Cookie! She's six years old--which would make her, um, 42 in human years and she's kinda wet because it's raining outside and she's been eating cotton wool, which you can see next to her, and she hates having her picture taken, but she'd still someone I love, and the one person I know will not care if her picture is posted on the internet.

Pictures I have taken so far include:

1) Two of my belly piercing which came out looking awful--the light reflected off the stone so I had to delete, plus I had to lean way over to look at the screen while I was shooting, so there's a funny angle.

2) One of my mother this morning, in her nightie.

3) One of a picture hanging in my room of me at nineteen where I look most hot.

4) One of me in the mirror last night with the flash bouncing off it.

I love it. I love it. I want to have silver babies with it.

And since all my shiny things have names (my car is Lady Marmalade, my computer is Oscar, my camera shall now be, um...Sir Clickalot. Or even better Lord Clickalot. I will say "M'lud" every time I take a picture. If you say Clickalot with a British accent, it sounds almost regal. Try it. Say "By jove, that Clickalot, wild sort of chap." See?)

Lots of pictures will now be taken since I now possess the technical skills to a) load pictures onto my computer and b) post them here. I love the fact that I am so tech-savvy. Although till last night, I thought it was a usP port and I thought that was such a good name. Like the USP is the usp, you know? What does USB stand for anyway?

29 comments:

  1. Loved it! Loved it! Loved it! Wasn't it almost therapeutic?

    P.S. Thanks for the link!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks to a ridiculously-busy-not-online week, I haven't been trawling too many blogs. Else, I most definitely would have caught onto that how-to-forget-the-ex list...

    I beleive the exact phrase was, 'he has an iPod, the f***er'. :)

    I think I have atleast 5 ideas for your birthday gift now. Thanks !

    And yes, little kids who live in the same apartment building and call you Uncle and want their toy airplanes from your balcony, should be snarled at. Then given toy airplanes covered in pigeon poop. When its still wet.

    ReplyDelete
  3. i liked (o) best ... guess that's what the internet does ... doesn't hold u back ... no inhibitions on the net.

    ReplyDelete
  4. eM eM aR, this was THREE posts passed off as one. You're selling yourself short.

    The last bit read the best, but I really don't empathise with your age-ism. I was thrilled when I graduated from 'Dada' to 'Kaku' (Uncle) on public transport. And that was when I was still in college ...

    (Now it's a trifle embarrassing when seniors in service 'Sir' me no end on first meeting .. they do take it personally when they find out ..)

    J.A.P.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Till I came to your line at the end, I thought for a crazy moment they were discussing age. And thought you lived in a building of freaks.

    ReplyDelete
  6. psychedelic: Ooh, going to post you list? I will instantly check that out :)

    mint chutney: It was sooooooo fun! Thank you again!

    vignesh: Ooh birthday prezzie, ooh! *tries to control look of greed* And pigeon poop is a fantastic idea, i should try that the next time a cricket ball hurtles in through my window.

    bonatellis: I believe it too :)

    J.A.P: I am so not being ageist! It's just that Aunty has very many negative connotations, that I'd rather not be a part of, thank you very much. :)
    And it's eM aR eM. Heh.

    motheater: I thought so too! It took me a while to figure out what they were talking about. :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ah, nice list. I am tempted to do one myself, but, but, but; I will need to think of some very creative lies to make me seem like anything that is interesting!

    Ah, no more K? Yay for Inner Poise!

    And this was really three posts! :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. 1. I have an iPod. Are you jealous? It's blue and very pretty.
    2. I don't think anybody can sound as interesting as you do on your blog.
    3. Kids that age who stress abbout their age should be smacked on their fat round arses
    4. You cheated; that's 26 things about you and you're supposed to do 50.

    ReplyDelete
  9. And here I thought people would be HAPPY to see such a long post. But, just a clarification, the title is "list whore" so I was basically trying to do as many lists as I could, except for the last item, which HAD to be written about before I forgot. :)

    sharanya: Showing off IS fun :) As long as you admit you're doing it.

    Primalsoup: I think you're pretty interesting without lies. Really :) I'd love to see that list, so get cracking, lady!

    Jay: I'm now green with envy at the thought of a BLUE ipod :) And I made the list 26 because I didn't want it to look too cumbersome. And um... didn't you mean stress about their WEIGHT? Just checking :)

    vibhu: I think bloggers are essentially showoffs, don't you? ;)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh I have done it too. Just have to post it now. So much of fun na?

    ReplyDelete
  11. eM aR eM?!

    *wonders where he has heard that before, and then...*

    hey! those are my initials!

    ReplyDelete
  12. You know, we have nothing in common. Nothing. Or maybe I just got offended because I need beer more than air.

    BTW, I gifted my wife an iPod last week. 20GB, white. :)) It's awesome!

    Finally, I have never been offended when kids called me uncle. So I am older than they are! Big deal. Call me grandpa for all I care.

    I must do the list before it goes out of fashion. :))

    ReplyDelete
  13. And also, BTW, this was a fun post to read. Enjoyed it.

    ReplyDelete
  14. eM you weigh less than 50???? and yeah, it is really sad that those girls were discussing their weight. how old were they?

    ReplyDelete
  15. eM - I own an iPod too! White, 20 GB..... Lottts of space for lottttttttttts of songs :D And I agree with Anurag - I don't mind if some kids call me aunty (or grandma!). Heck, a friend's MOM calls me 'Bhabhiji" because I am (in her own words) "almost her age" :O She has a son my age.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hi!

    Damn! Thanks for hitting my blog :)

    Thoughts re: " Not only are you an aside but this is the last time I will mention you on this blog. These are the last words about you that shall be coaxed out of the keyboard by my chapped fingertips. No more will you have to dance in public view on the world wide web for hundreds of voyeurs. Go now.

    (That being said, you're NEVER getting back your basketball jersey that I sleep in. EN-ever.)"

    Hmmmm.

    Look.

    If he's a good source of vitriol, don't put him aside.

    Sure, if he's a total piece of excrement, kick him to the curb. But if he's the source of stories worth telling, save them for when you're ready to tell.

    Everything is fair game to spin a story about here in the blogosphere :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. putative insanity: Yes, there are fat women who are happy. I am one of them. I am trying to get in a better shape - for health resons. But because I work out regulary (or sort of regularly :P ) I am in a better shape than a lot of my skinny friends. I can go miles on a treadmill or a stationary bike without stopping, I can lift free-weights and NOT hurt my back or have sore muscles the naxt day, I can (and do) play volleyball/dodgeball with friends AND I can carry 40-50 pounds (and more) of grocery up two flights of stairs without stopping (I do curse all the way :D ). I used to be very unhappy with the way I looked. Then this year I made a New Year's resolution - I will try to better my health by losing some weight but I WILL NOT obsess about my size and miss out on all the fun I could have. And this is one resolution I have kept! I am truly happy after a loooong time. I am focusing on things worth my time. Besides, I want to be a positive influence on my daughter, and I don't want her to grow up with wrong ideas about appearance, healthy weight and even ways to lose weight. For me, there is only one way to lose weight - through exercise. No starvations for me, thankyou :)

    eM: Sorry, this is almost a post in itself. But that question triggered something in me :P

    ReplyDelete
  18. tama: Lists? Flaky? Surely not!!! :)

    ab: Can't wait to see yours :)

    forgetful: I feel that way to, or at least I used to, about no one getting exactly what I meant. Always.

    mandar: Yes, your url gave ME a bit of a shock too!

    anurag: Wow, I wish I was married to you ;) But no, I wasn't OFFENDED offended, just taken aback, coz I've gotten so used to Didi.

    kafka: Yes I DO weigh less than 50. MUCH less :P And those kinds must've been.. what? 11? 12?

    gettingthere: Okay if any of my friend's mom's tried that, I'd kill them. Really.

    putative: I didn't really intend to make any weight judgements there. It was just that Sahira obviously was being bitching about, so therefore the "poor, unlovable". Fat was just because, hell, she WAS fat. Not because fat people are essentially less or more lovable than skinny ones.

    amandarama: I suspect we haven't heard the end of K. But I am over him, which is important. And I might've exhusted my repertoire of stories on him... I blog a lot! :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Cookie is most adorable! And Lord Clickalot is a great name!

    ReplyDelete
  20. The Cookster looks really cute !

    What does USB stand for anyway?

    Proof that you never are listening to me anyways.

    I love the fact that I am so tech-savvy.

    Suuuurrrreeee !!!! :)))

    ReplyDelete
  21. Yes, I did mean 'weight'.

    You wanna have silver babies with it?! Do tell how you're planning to achieve that. I mean, it's not quite exactly shaped for that purpose, is it? Does it at least whirr and rattle pleasingly?

    :-p

    ReplyDelete
  22. Universal Serial Bus??? That doesn't sound right, somehow.

    No, Jay, he doesn't vibrate. But he does flash me, on and off. :)

    And Cookie's cuteness has been conveyed to her. I don't think she cares really, though she did raise one golden eyebrow :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. what, no beer?
    beautiful dog. golden retriever?

    ReplyDelete
  24. 1. usb=universal serial bus, methinks
    2. you gag on beer ?? what apity. well, you make up for it with the rest I would think
    3. TGIF CP. only went for happy hours cause friends from civil lines were loathe to go to south delhi
    4. arre, digicam. lucky leddy
    5. myself also ipod mini!
    6. 50 things about myself? will i actually post that? phew....

    ReplyDelete
  25. 6. Sir Clickalot- jolly good, old chap. mighty fine name. Just hope the blighter lives up to his sodding name.
    :)

    ReplyDelete
  26. Nice camera.
    Lovely Dog.
    Good post. Don't feel like talking/writing much today. Give Cookie a hug from me, please?

    ReplyDelete
  27. Hi,

    The background, font size and the colour makes it a bit difficult to read your blog......can u do something about it?

    ReplyDelete
  28. You use the same perfumes as me, try Green Tea by Elizabeth Arden. Spiced Green Tea (a limited version, if you can stillg etit) is even more amazing! Have fun :)

    ReplyDelete

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