27 October 2006
(Posted here first!)
* You know summer is officially over when..
1) The waiters start asking you whether you want ice in your drink, instead of just bunging it in.
2) There is a low lying mist over the cement rooftops when you wake up in the morning.
3) You start turning the fan speed down from four to two.
4) You start pulling out all the long sleeved clingy tops you had retired to the back of your cupboard and are contemplating opening the "winter clothes bundle" in Tall's closet.
5) You curl your fingers around mugs of hot coffee and feel distinctly full of well-being.
* You know your twentyfifth birthday is coming closer when..
1) You stay home more often because you just want to sleep.
2) You have a horrible old woman cough which isn't going.
3) You fantasise about marrying Future Mr. eM in Neemrana with lots of booze and pretty people.
a) You no longer think you're too young to get married.
b) Your mother's matchmaking offers sound appealing in weak moments of angst.
c) You think you're outgrowing the Angry Young Men you keep meeting.
4) You read a Femina article about how wrinkles start appearing after you hit your twenties and start massaging your skin upwards every time you lotion in the morning.
5) You think you look pretty damn good for your age.
* You know you have ARRIVED in the internet space when..
(only one point) You get Skype! Yay! And chat with beloved Hobo in London for two hours! And the world is shrinking!
* You know your house is your home when...
1) You realise you've been living there for an entire YEAR. Wow.
2) You love just hanging out at home, feet up, watching Grey's Anatomy on your laptop.
3) When you visit your OLD home, your ORIGINAL home, where your mother lives, you realise you miss a lot of the conveniences you have in your new home. Like having a TV that broadcasts more than three channels you like to watch.
4) You're proud of it, and like showing it off to other people.
5) Your flatmates know everything about you, and that's okay. Even the fact that they see you in the morning, hair on end and squinchy eyed is okay. And that's a pretty big step.
* You know you hate the rest of the world that isn't Delhi when..
1) You realise you have lost two friends to London, one to Washington DC, and will shortly lose one to Hamburg.
2) And it's not like exotic destinations are the only things beckoning them away--you might soon find yourself minus one friend because of bloody Bombay.
3) As a result you are desperately trying to make new friends, as fast as you can.
* You know you're only funny when you have a keyboard in front of you when..
Conversations like this one happen with old friend.
Chitgo: so do u want anything from pakistan?
me: something nice
Chitgo: i dont know if they have that in the shops there
ill think of something
Chitgo: i know
hey! its ur party this saturday isnt it?
and you can't make it :(
Chitgo: i know :(
will stil try though
its ok if im not in costume right?
me: well TRY to be in costume
even wind a turban around your head
just try and not look normal
which should be easy for you
Chitgo: hahah so obvious
u could do better than that
me: it was begging to be said
it said please eM
please please please
even though i am an obviously cracked, overly used, horse flogged joke
me: it looked so sad
Chitgo: please 'say my name' one last time as i drown in the sadness of my own ubiquity
me: no one used it anymore
it went where old jokes go to die
all old and crumpled
would you deny that?
Chitgo: u saved it from its humourless grave
me: would you?
i am saviour type person
Chitgo: u saviour u
me: like the second coming or something
me: repent all ye punners!
Chitgo: let the fury of my ageless argon strike ye down with not so funny force
me: *looks up argon quickly
*argon was a mythical dragon
* not too many people know that
*feels kind of foolish as he made argon up right now
me: a colorless, odorless, chemically inactive, monatomic, gaseous element that, because of its inertness, is used for filling fluorescent and incandescent lamps and vacuum tubes. Symbol: Ar; atomic number: 18; atomic weight: 39.948.
which is what i thought it was
me: but dragon works
yeah its just dragon spellt differently
without the d
so its like argon-d
me: the organdy even!
me: ooooh, it's a girl dragon
Chitgo: no its not
me: yes it is
Chitgo: girl dragons dont do much
me: girl dragons can be fierce
me: like yours have done you a big fat good
Chitgo: they sit around bitching about the diminishing flames of their boyfriends
me: he was an old flame
the spark has gone
Chitgo: my balls are quite the vanquishing heroes, thank u very much.
me: come on baby light my fire
Chitgo: yeah thats like the 'lets get it on' for dragons
me: your.. balls? are vanquishing heroes?
me: like with lances?
Chitgo: arthur and sir lancelot
me: and horses?
Chitgo: only one lance
Chitgo: to bind them and to rule them all
me: good to know
yeah if they challenge u to a duel randomly in the middle of a club
dont be surprised
just say your last prayers
me: and i'm assuming fair women are rescued
Chitgo: well, fair and worthy
me: oh i couldn't be challenged
Chitgo: rescued from dragons
me: i have no lance
Chitgo: would u kneel?
me: it is in my chaddi drawer :)
Chitgo: in my case i dont knight, i 'mount'
me: oh cheee
you are so DURRTY
me: i am laughing
you are right
but it's still dirty
and u ofcourse bathe daily in the holy ganga naa?
my little puritan
me: i bathe in the yamuna
that might account for the third arm i seem to have grown
me: but i am pure
Chitgo: hmmm three arms
me: i am virginal
i have halo even
Chitgo: yeah and im the pope's bastard child
me: does he know
im planning to tell him during the assasination
what a way to go
me: when you say our father you really mean MINE ALL MINE YOU SOBS
Chitgo: i am your son
me: luke, i ammmm your faaaaaaaaather
me: (that was falling down noise)
where do u fall?
on a bed of neatly laid dandilions?
me: it is whistling through sky noise
me: then when you land you go crunchity crunch
is this batman and robin revisited?
biff baam boom
me: like an extended splat
Chitgo: tananananananaananana BATMAN
me: holy ravioli!
but i would pwush
i would splat even
i'm so blogging this conversation
Well, WE thought we were funny. And incredibly talented and witty too. So there.