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"A gleeful dollop of Blytonian magic ... Reddy Madhavan is also able to tackle some fairly sensitive subjects such as identity, the love of and karmic ties with parents, adoption, the first sexual encounter, loneliness, and my favourite, feminist rage." - Scroll

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20 August 2007

We Are All Debate Club Mood-y (skip, if you prefer the party posts)

On the plane ride over from Delhi (six am. Dear god, why did I think that was a good idea?) I was reading Gloria Steinem's Outrageous Acts And Everyday Rebellions. Primarily because my mother gave it to me, saying I would enjoy it, and also because I try to do my heavier reading on planes. (I don't read a lot of nonfiction, and I'm usually so lazy about my reading, I will pick up stuff I've read a million times before, rather than tackle something new). But this book was surprisingly light. Easy. And it made a lot of sense.

I went to this college for women. It was an excellent college--hardly any male professors, except one dashing young JNU type who was the object of much giggling and enthusiastic young things. We were taught from the beginning that the power to do anything lay with us, something which you could either embrace, like a lot of us did, or reject, rolling your eyes, going, "Feminists!" which a lot of us did too. Outside college, even after we graduated, we were the victims of many attacks, mainly by men we met, going, "Ohhhhh, you went to that college." and making a face. Once or twice, I tried to get them to explain and they'd say, "Oh, man, you guys are all so elitist." Others would say, "Haan, I know your type, Fabindia and Goldflake cigarettes." Feminism was never mentioned, but it was implied. It was a dirty word, something to be used with derision. Because, dahlinks, to be a feminist was never ever to be feminine. The two just didn't go together.

I never really truly thought of myself as a feminist. I mean, I've been guilty of using "being a chick" to get what I want sometimes. I like it when men are chivalrous. I let them carry my bags when they're heavy. I realise I am better at nurturing than men are, just like they're better at the fixing things stuff. But, I know if I was thrown in a world with no men, as I am frequently, I can manage perfectly fine on my own. Having a male flatmate means I get certain things done easier, but I've lived with women, and we managed. We were fine. When Mouse was in the hospital, I did my best to get her discharged, but they only really listened when I called a male friend and asked him to intervene. For him doors opened, paperwork got done rapidly and we were out of there. It was unfair, supremely, completely unfair, but it made my day that much easier if I bowed to the system.

The one way I am a feminist though, is when I write. I HATE the label "women writers". Like, what the fuck? Are there "men writers"? There are not. There are "writers" and "women writers". Like what I write is equal to say, a detailed history of cows in Croatia. A niche subject. Woman stuff. I know if you're a woman, you've heard a guy say, "Uhhh.. have you got your period or something?" when you lose your temper. Is this not annoying? Fuck annoying, is it not also the most condescending thing you've ever heard? Male actors are better paid, male writers get bigger advances and those of us unfortunate enough to be born with a uterus are put into a special category. If we write about sex, we're 'chick-lit', if we write about families, we're 'endearing and poignant new voices.' Blurb writer? I can tell you where to stuff that poignant.

I got all militant on your ass there for a bit, and that might surprise you, because this is not a subject I usually write about. Or talk about even. It's not that I don't care, it's that I don't care enough. Consider my advantages: I'm an only child, and therefore have been brought up as an equal. I'm from India's English speaking/educated elite, which means I meet a certain kind of person normally, brought up to be liberated, I do pretty much as I please, not hampered by my gender. And yet, there are subtle things I notice every now and then. Such as, if I'm on an assignment, and meeting someone not from my background, they'll address themselves to my male photographer. Such as, hearing of a woman who sleeps around with frequency, referred to as a slut. By women too, by the way. Such as hearing, "Oh man, how do women stay friends with each other, you guys bitch all the time". They're little things, usually brushed away by laughing or rolling my eyes, or saying, "You're SUCH an MCP" but they're betraying things. Do I think of them as true statements? I am out of sorts during my period. Sometimes, I don't like to make a move on someone because they'll think I'm a slut. Sometimes I judge promiscuous women. Sometimes, I use words like promiscuous. Sometimes, I am angry with my women friends for analysing and renaanlysing and interpreting insults and talking about each other. Sometimes, I do that too. But don't men do that too? Okay, so you don't have an excuse of your hormones acting up every month, but I know plenty of men who will periodically (periodically. heh.) throw hissy fits. I know men who delight in bitching. And I know men who sleep around too. (Only, the oldest irony in the book: men who sleep around are players, women who sleep around are sluts. We're the cow, with the free milk, and they're the buyers.)

This post isn't really meant to prove anything, just a sort of talking out loud to myself. I'd appreciate a weigh in, especially from my male readers. Why does the word feminist scare you guys so much? And why can't feminists be feminine?


  1. Odd you should write about this...I just finished reading (again!) Gloria Steinem's Revolution from Within and was pretty much worrying away at a few things she brought up...But, to reply to your question..I know you asked male readers for their input, but I'll throw in my tuppence anyway! react to feminism at two levels, at one level they don't take it seriously because a lot of women use feminism as an easy shortcut to get what they want, a manipulative technique if you will, AND they themselves imply that feminists are not feminine...For instance, a woman who wants to be a stay at home mom is not considered a feminist by supposed feminists..But, isnt feminism all about choices? As a feminist, I have the right to be a homemaker if I so wish.

    At the other level, most men find true feminists "difficult" women to deal with. They are not biddable, they question accepted gender roles too much. In other words, they are too much of a bother. The accepted mating dance is comfortable, the impicit power equation in their favor. Why would they want to upset that? :)

  2. one suggests that the problem is not so much with the concept of feminism itself, but with the "militant" tag associated with it.
    Men are innately scared of being shouted at and embarrassed by a bunch of women, and so they pick on individual feminists when they can.
    And yes, the wordplay is tilted to men, but isn't that just how dominant majority language-play works?

  3. Another "male" viewpoint...sadly I find many women just "giving up".. captured in this old post titled "Femininity" on my blog:

    "a flower hanging its head
    shamed by its scent
    moon hidden in clouds
    guilty of the light
    stream gaging itself
    scared of the laughter
    my feminity shed
    trampled and buried
    no shame no guilt no fear"

  4. thats easy. since women are too good to be true, feminists won't allow a female version of 'misogynist' to be coined. so we guys decided to u settle instead for, what else, 'feminist'.

  5. someoone said it somewhere:

    "I used to think i am a slut,then i realized that i was just acting like a man."

    Add to that
    "An intellectual is a person who has found something more interesting than sex or shopping."
    A. Huxley(modified)

    ....and if u still want some deeper knowledge,yes you are right as per those pathetic text books of medicine.

  6. in personal experience, feminism as a word seems to be thrown about much like nazi, with most of the usage being out of context and used as a throwaway slur during an argument (or debate or w/e) when someone can't come up with a proper retort. or, culled their knowledge about it from the da vinci code.

    be much easier to hate all people as a rule and pick out exceptions..

  7. it's 7.04 and i should be working, but really, i'm just staring at my laptop for inspiration. therefore, a little writing just to jog the cells a bit.

    anon: maybe it's steinem season? and i agree, feminism IS about choices, just like any fight for equality is. it's odd we should be having this debate now, in 2007, when all these things should be obsolete--i mean, think pratibha patil--in a world where india can have a woman president and a woman second-in-command to the PM (or first in command, depending on your viewpoint), why are we bowing down to stereotypes? sigh. probably because it's easier.

    ?!?: this is true. too many men confuse the militant feminism, the bra burning etc (SO outdated, btw, who does that anymore?) with just generally not wanting to be classified by your sex. the trick is, says gloria steinem, to ask men to take a certain sentence and replace it with a male identifier. for instance: "i don't want my work to interfere with my marriage." it only sounds odd, because we're not used to it.

    shoonyata: interesting. thank you. :)

    hbj: "too good to be true" could be construed to be a subtle insult too, you know. :)

    doomed: whats wrong with sex and shopping? i love sex and shopping. doesn't everyone love sex and shopping?

    bobo: the da vinci code? feminism? explain.

  8. Interesting points but the same argument always arises. Female tennis players earn less than male tennis players because they play three set matches. Female actors earn less than male actors because they have smaller roles. In exceptions such as say. Kill Bill, the female actors get paid more than male actors in that film. It is logically correct.

    If the world was equal to both sexes, there would be mens' compartments in trains and seats reserved for men in buses, trains, the parliament, schools, colleges and government offices.

    Very few people actually talk of the other stuff but I will tell you of one incident that happened on my trip to North India.

    WE went trekking to Triund which was five hours up from where we started. We reached the top, waited half an hour and started back. It rained. There was a hailstorm. We lost our way. My friend had a sprained ankle. We somehow managed to reach McLeodgunj and on our way back on the bus to Dharamsala, some random "demanded" us to vacate the seat for her. It wasn't even a reserved seat for females and she was as fit as a fiddle. I obviously refused and asked her to buzz off, politely of course. Being the nice guy that I am, I took pains to explain to her that I and my friend were in no state of health to actually stand up in a crowded bus and travel for about half an hour.

    I respect women a lot but sometimes I feel like lynching a few feminists because they seem to imply that women who chose to be home-makers are weak women who have bowed to the society's bidding. My mother has never worked outside home but she is a fiercely independent and respectable lady. I admire her and thousands of other women like her. All feminists who think she is a lose can go wash my dish-rag.


  9. Why does the word feminist scare you guys so much? And why can't feminists be feminine?

    Actually it doesnt, mostly becasue i do not accede to the millitant definition, so the girl who screams at me for opening a doorfor her is not, by me, a feminist, but just another ignorant and misguided person, who thinks equality with men (or whatever they want)can be achieved only by behaving like the sterotype specimen of the species they hate.

    the world is full of misguided peple with all the wrong definition right? change the world, isnt that what writers so? :-)

    as for afeminine feminists, how can a woamn be masculine and a feminist?

    jsut in passing I was voted the feminist of my batch once.:-)

    yep, i am a guy.


  10. Guns, I do agree with you. As a woman--and I would like to think as a balanced woman who can appreciate male rights as well--I feel that not all those who've never had power, want power for the right reasons.

    And feminism, like any other ideology, has been misused, which dilutes the message. Asking for seats in buses is not feminism. In my opinion, it's settling for a concession and it's self-serving.

  11. "as for afeminine feminists, how can a woamn be masculine and a feminist?"

    A woman can have masculine traits and feminine traits and be a feminist, can't she? I can be empathetic and I can be unafraid to show my anger (you have to agree, showing anger is considered unfeminine by most)and I can be cognizant of my rights and feel free enough to make my own choices, can't I?

  12. maybe its not the lack of femininity thats the issue. feminish is too much of femininity. guys cant handle too much of anything right. they live in the mean (or median, or whatever).

  13. anonymous, when i said masculine, i mean man like , not "possessing conventional male traits" asnd i agree with you one can most definitely show the so called masculine traits and still be very feminine.
    I would call aggressiveness a masculine trait
    not anger

  14. thankfully, men are evolving just like the rest of us and so several can handle strong women with minds of their own, opinions, careers, salaries as much or more than their own, degrees as many or more than their own. unfortunately, these 'several' are just not enough. the other- more than several- would rather continue with the relationships they see played out in the house and around them. the male head of the family, the authoritarian dad, the male boss and female secretary and for this lot, feminist is a scary word. it shakes their world. deriding it is thus such a convenient option..

  15. another explanation (em, what have you unleashed??)..what does a true feminist want? She wants to be a complete women who has the freedom to be her true self. A complete woman will never need a man; she may want one though.

    So, for a lot of men (who are themselves incomplete and not Raymond-clad)neediness in women is essential for their self-esteem. A complete woman is a threat.

  16. The idea is not about feminist. Most guys grow up admiring their mother and want their wife to be exactly or nearly the same. Feminists is often misunderstood to mean men-haters or rather self-centred career-loving and family-breaking. No wonder who would ever want to embrace the new when the old stereotype may be almost everything one may need.


  17. Not sure but I guess the basic idea of being a feminist is not been feminine ?! Again, apologies for being ignorant on that.

    And yeah, stereotypism sucks, big time !

  18. So the follies of our culture and the myriad injustices you list are things that I can't defend or explain away.

    The term chick author/ woman author however is one I think I can- I don't think chick author applies to all women- it's reserved for the ones writing devil wears prada type stuff (or that delightful shopping assistant series). The same way Tom Clancy (and whoever else) fall into the (crap) spy-fiction lot. No-one in their right minds, I hope, would ever refer to Jeanette Winterson or Carol Ann Duffy or Zadie Smith as women authors- nor have i heard it said.

    As far as feminism and type-casting goes, i'd have you know that we did a much finer job of typecasting people from your college- it was a 2x2 matrix (artsy-non-artsy)x(feminist-non-feminist). The classification was based on names (full name). You technically fall under feminist-artsy. The system, used over nearly 4 years, was remarkably accurate. I should point out that was more than ever done for people from my school who were lumped into one big category. I'll leave you to guess which...

  19. For some reason the 'giving up seats/ ladies compartment' example is inevitably brought up in discussions like this and of course, it had to come up here. I'd like to point out to all the guys who complain about this that we would love to live in a world where we didn't have to have a separate queue or compartment because we wouldn't have to worry about some guy masturbating all over our leg in public transport. The seats are reserved for women who are pregnant and I have to admit that when I have my period (something that is inflicted on me every month and which is extremely painful) I do chose to use that seat. I agree that women have to act responsibly when using these seats and I think in most cases they do. I see a lot of women standing in buses when men are sitting down - which is fine as long as they're not being molested. I think the bigger issue in buses is when all the young people (male and female) continue to sit while senior citizens are standing.

    Remember guys - feminism is no longer about women wanting to be honorary men because this can be so misused. Unfortunately, we are compelled by biology to menstruate every month, get pregnant, breast feed etc. Some of us would rather not but it's actually in the interest of society that we continue to bear children. So society better compensate us in some way for this biological burden that men really can never take on - and if that means maternity leave then that's the least that can be done. Also I have noticed when guys chose to stay at home and let the woman do the working - they tend to stick to the old gender role and let the woman do the cooking as well.

    Regarding the carrying-bags thing, men paying for you thing - there's a bit in Simone de Beauvoir's The Second Sex (the introduction is a must-read) about it. It's very easy for women when they are fighting for their rights to slip into taking the odd compensation like sitting at home and having your husband pick up the bills (there are cases when this is necessary and that's different) or having guys routinely pay for you on dates and carry your bags. Sometimes I think - hey we have such a hard life, these small compensations are ok. But there's no such thing as a free lunch and in the end, you have to be careful that it doesn't backfire.

  20. hi lil eM. Wish i'd known you're in Delhi.. would've met up... anyway you've been too busy last few trips to Delhi so i guess its fine...
    now for your post... i'm not sure which primitive lot you hang out with who consider men who sleep around as cool or "players".. people i interact with still look at it with disdain and an obvious sign of insecurity and low self esteem.. just as one does with a woman.. the only difference is that when two insecure people Male and female hook up for a fuck to somehow feel wanted or relevant or empowered.. at the end of it the insecure man has the upper hand coz he rolls out of bed and says.. "Oh.. I've fucked her.." coz men are kind of weaker that way so kicking someone helps them feel better...and his other primitive friends stand around and clap but trust me.. no guy with half a brain and a iota of confidence will ever look at that patheitc vermin with awe.
    and am sorry to say but what urban indian women whine about all the time.. is their own creation.. they put themselves in the position they are in . its the easiest way out..and then blame someone else...
    Hi by the way. lemme know when you're in Delhi next.

  21. oh, not much. just that (for a period), people were spouting DVC philosophy about how he was the ultimate feminist or something like that.

  22. the response to this post has been excellent so far, who knew? :)
    anyhoo, moving on to the one thing i wanted to address--the rights of the empowered man, and whether women take advantage of feminism and so on, like the whole ladies seat thing. i'm going to have to agree with bride there though--men haven't been felt up in dtc buses, or had someone breathe heavily in your ear, or felt an erection against your butt. these things are invasive and five times out of six WON'T happen to the man who stands up to vacate the "ladies" seat. that said, if the bus/train/other mode of public transport is fairly empty, i wouldn't insist on my rights to have the seat. the ladies compartments in local trains is for that purpose as well--to afford the "weaker" sex some sort of protection. does it suck? totally. but then men should stop using their natural physical advantages as well, no, if they want the comparatively less crowded areas? i don't know though, where i stand on the debate that to ask for the conscession is unfeminist. i don't think so, i mean, if i'm exercising my right NOT to be touched, isn't that feminism as well?

  23. I think she says it of the TWOP editors

  24. Just to clarify - I fully support the need for seats/compartments/queues to be reserved for women as a molestation avoidance measure if nothing else. However, we women need to think twice about avoidable but tempting handouts such as guys paying for our drinks etc.

  25. Well, it's not as though one is safe if one gets a seat in a bus..ten to one, there will be a dick pressed in your armpit or angled on your temple. Then there are the creeping hands of those sitting behind you! What I really meant was that reserving seats is a form of tokenism, which allows the govt or anyone to take the stance that hey we have reserved seats for u in buses, what more do you want?

    I'd be happier slugging someone in a bus rather than ask for a seat; I have, as a matter of fact, and it's given me great pleasure...but that's not here or there, so even I dont know where I stand really, except that I don't feel comfortable with concessions but if some do, they are within their rights to do so

  26. 'subtle' insult? some people can be tone dumb. or maybe i need to brush up my insults. after your coming out, ur initial decision not to be blatantly feminist on these pages looks infinitely wise, productive discussion above notwithstanding. what do i know, people outgrow even wisdom. duh.

  27. hbj: perhaps i overestimated you. subtlety is something best left to the intelligent. being nice to people who leave strange comments on your blog though, you're right, that wasn't very smart of me, now was it?

  28. Enough already. You say tomayto, I say tomahto. It's in the eating.

    Everybody loves ... sex yes, shopping over my dead body.

  29. Sometimes, I don't like to make a move on someone because they'll think I'm a slut.

    this is the worst! my rational mind says, if he really thinks you're a slut for making the first move, or sleeping with him 'too quickly' then he's not the right guy for you. but my pragmatic side says, that's how this shit works. i'm working on getting my rational side to prevail :)

  30. Just so you know..
    We don't think all women who sleep around are 'sluts'. Just the ones who sleep around with everyone except us. And 'bitches' are women who won't sleep around at all.
    I'm all for feminism. Burn your bra, have sex like a man and all that. Just don't object to my masculinism when I undress you with my eyes when you walk down the street.

  31. ..but seriously. Why would you not want to be identified by your sex? It's a big part of who you are. I'm proud to be a man and to be a part of everything that it entails.
    Women should be confident enough to wear their feminity as a badge of honour. Why try to pretend that differences do not exist, when any moron can recoginze that they do.
    Women are physically weaker, more nurturing, less sexually aggressive and more complex than men are. So what? Be proud of it and don't get all insecure when a man calls you a woman.

  32. @mcp 'feminity' as you describe it - women are physically weaker, more nurturing, less sexually aggressive and more complex than men are (and so much more on similar lines) - is a social construct just as masculinity is. The reason why women are now uncomfortable with this socially constructed definition is because it has been historically used to subjugate us and shove us into disadvantages roles that are devoid of choice (for example - being treated as a maid and a glorified whore in marriage which is not much improved in recent time - except that women in India are now expected to go out to work and then come home and be the maid and whore).

    Of course, society will continue to impose roles - gender or otherwise - on its members, but the problem is when those roles become too restrictive. Men too may start rebelling against the 'masculinity' construct if it becomes to stifling (and maybe already are in the form of 'metrosexuality').

  33. now that everyone has made their point and the issue has been settled once and for all, i suggest we move on to more of such relevant and timely topics. to start with: does god exist? then why does he allow so much weevil in this world... huh..will yeast be yeast and vests be vests? will the er.. twain ever meet? just suggestions...

    relax eM. this blog used a lot of fun, and when people took themselves too seriously, u were
    always the first to remind them of your 'mission statement'. and then u had to go and spoil ur own party. and what an original way to do it. bah!#$!@#$

  34. i believe being feminist or not is a personal choice & sort of a human right, just like if someone believes in god or not!
    what i mean to say is that if a woman is feminist or whatever it should'nt bother anyone else, its a free world, damn it!!
    as a man i would want my woman to be independent & with a mind of her own, if u call it being feminist..doesnt matter!!

  35. strong views there is always a flip side..there are men who dont bother, there is a society who respect n appreciates...moreover look back at our society 20 yrs bck..we surely have come a long way..things change..all they need is time..this is a truth..and the sooner we accept truth easier is the pain...and did i say i loved ur posts!

  36. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  37. no. she's your mother, under an alias, so that you don't catch her writing about how much she loves getting head and all that. bet u didnt know that.

  38. Great post, Em. Got me all riled up too, especially the bit about the slut vs. player. I wonder how these issues play out in truly gender equal nations like Sweden etc. Pure speculation on my part, but if they have a word for slut, I'm sure it's lost most of its negative connotations.

    We live in a society that's shamefully repressed, where it's more socially acceptable for men to masturbate in crowded buses than to publicly display affection towards the women they're in love with. Yay Shiv Sena! Down with Valentine's day, public masturbation's the way to go!

    Speaking of which, what India needs is a sexual reawakening. We need a Kamasutra Day. Let's spread the word.

    And anyone who still believes that masculinity and femininity are socially constructed myths REALLY needs to look into the role that hormones play in male/female behavior.

    I'm glad you allow anonymous, unmoderated comments. Yay free speech!

    Kamasutra Day! Let's DO IT!

  39. A question for all the feminists out thr....what would an utopian society which treats women as equal ?

    Since there is a lot of cribbing abt the role of women- slut, whore and suchlikes....lets get the reason why all this whining !!

    - S.

  40. why am I afraid of feminists?

    first, because they don't realise the ash-trays in my house have a purpose, and really, the maid does not have to sweep their cigeratte butts off the floor in the morning.

    two, they get riled when i just talk to my friends, men and women, normally. apparently, all of us men have to stick to some (always never mentioned) straw-man stereotype.

    third, they don't know sex is primarily fun, not gender politics.

    fourth, they get mad at me when i say we don't have to prove a point, any point, all the time and at all cost.

    fifth, oh! nver mind.

  41. eM, and by the way, how come all this feminism all of a sudden? is it linked to your (as you put it, almost) shrivelled pussy by any chance?

  42. men are wary of feminist , because they represent the extreme point of view ,just as there are left and right wing political parties who take extreme positions on all issues, depending on thier ideology.

    there is no middle path with feminist.

  43. @ ir, actually, not sure of what you seem to say. i just watched Bourne Ultimatum, and it has plenty of strong women characters, who i thought (as a man), tended to enhance the movie. and some of the women characters are rather extreme.

    i would have objected if any one of them were feminist though. i think my problem with feminism is the same as my problem with anything that is reductive. you just have to read the few pro-feminism posts above to see my point. these ideologues seem to be less human than human.

  44. Yeah! so thinking more, Feminism is a produce to Shrivalled pussies and shrunken minds (and probably things much worse).

    so yes, I can stand strong women with minds and fat salaries of their own because I can mostly stand people who have something of their own.

    Feminists still get my goat, though! and re-reading through this blog, and other Indian blogs from the reasonably priviledged arts-and-culture types (who seem to have almost simultaneously, almost lemming like, discovered Feminism), perhaps somebody ougta tell me why I prefer to be with women with strong minds and credible abilites, and despise Feminists.

  45. me suggests everyone relax and just think of the bigger picture.
    just read this somewhere..
    Women's liberation because...

    ... woman's work is never done and is underpaid or unpaid or boring or repetitious and we're the first to get the sack and what we look like is more important than what we do and if we get raped it's our fault and if we get bashed we must have provoked it and if we raise our voices we're nagging bitches and if we enjoy sex we're nymphos and if we don't we're frigid and if we love women it's because we can't get a "real" man and if we ask our doctor too many questions we're neurotic and / or pushy and if we expect community care for children we're selfish and if we stand up for our rights we're aggressive and "unfeminine" and if we don't we're typical weak females and if we want to get married we're out to trap a man and if we don't we're unnatural and because we still can't get an adequate safe contraceptive but men can walk on the moon and if we can't cope or don't feel guilty about abortion and... for lots and lots of other reasons we are part of the women's liberation movement.

  46. Here's another feminine veiw point.. Any change is a threat.
    Everyone in society is used to something called a stereotype - the usual. Anything different from the usual is viewed with suspectfully, until it is proven to be harmless.

    We're in times when men haven't completely realized that women can go beyond the traditional roles attributed to them. And neither have women. Thats why - if we behave like men do, we become the "sluts". Its upto smart ones like us to ignore it - We'll forgive them in our hearts once they realize their folly :-)

  47. its like lesbians cannot be pretty! for gawd's sake!!

  48. our own government does not support a woman standing for her rights!

    As someone having dabbed in divorce law, a woman who has been desserted by her husband cannot get a divorce unless he comes to court (err.. he left her!!) and so legally she cannot move on or safeguard her own assets!

    No wonder we needed people to fight for those rights- but they got misconstrued into what is the current concept of feminism...

  49. I am not afraid of 'feminists'. Thet are despicable.

  50. I'd rather say men and women are different and shouldn't be measured by the same yardstick (though they complement and complete each other :P).

    Well world has always been male dominated as it is, apart from the dravidians may be, a long time ago. The strong oppressing the weak is a law of nature (lions do that against lionesses even). So women have to come up with some strategy to make an upheaval. And I feel the change has already started. But it will be gradual, unless we have a female despot ruling the entire world, or someone like Sanjay Gandhi gouging out everyone's balls to reduce population!

  51. I liked it when you said being a feminist has nothing to do with being feminine!! I think thats the truest statement i ever heard so far...

    I keep telling my collegues who circulate jokes abt dumb blondes and dumb women (buggers!!) that i am a certified, bumptious feminist and beware of that and they laugh it away....serious feminists who really HATE men should be made to interact with all the MCP s in this world and make them understand that we are also capable of hating and teach them a lesson!!

    wanted to write a lot more, but...cant be expressive as you are meenakshi!!

  52. I liked it when you said being a feminist has nothing to do with being feminine!! I think thats the truest statement i ever heard so far...

    I keep telling my collegues who circulate jokes abt dumb blondes and dumb women (buggers!!) that i am a certified, bumptious feminist and beware of that and they laugh it away....serious feminists who really HATE men should be made to interact with all the MCP s in this world and make them understand that we are also capable of hating and teach them a lesson!!

    wanted to write a lot more, but...cant be expressive as you are meenakshi!!

  53. well thank god for this!!

    for too long i have been having this argument with too many peers and friends.

    after a point I just gave up - cos only the truly liberated ones will TRY and understand.

    feminism is NOT about bossing over men, or any of that shite, it;s about striving for equality and basic human respect. and women who think feminism is about bossing overmen are a bunch of losers. most people just MISS than point dont they???

    one issue that used to get me into fights with a lota men was that a gigglacious girl holding a drink in her hand was deemed as 'drunk'. i dont get it - why???? why cant girls just have fun and giggle? with or without a drink!

    fuck ppl who use words like slut/whore/etc. They're just WAY too narrow minded to enjoy this world.

    and fuck ppl who think ALL girls are just DYING to get married...

    the truth is - veyr few ppl think for themsleves - and the ones who do end up fighting battles like such.


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