All the small things

*At a coffee shop, I wait, pretending busy, pretending I am a woman with a plan. Wondering at people, at noisy groups, feeling like a phantom limb, the taste of stale wine coating my gums, red wine lips, despite the scrubbing, new clothes sit in a white plastic bag atop a marble countertop—full of possibilities, and nights and days to come. When I am not That Girl. Alone. In. A. Coffeeshop.

* Things I find interesting:  People who live in other countries changing their accents when someone of the same country is present. People who use a word in a conversation that I have only read before. Angry comment threads on a blog. Particular lyrics of songs.

Today I heard: Some people think I’m the life of the party, because I tell a joke or two.

The idea of being in Tokyo. Other peoples lives when you’re no longer speaking to them.

*Things I could do without: Mould. White lighting in a room painted green or pink. The screech of tyres. Groups of boys just sitting together and staring when you pass them. The no smoking in public rule. Being somewhere without a book. Slow internet connections. Hostility when you are vulnerable.

* Things I have eaten recently:  The chipotle chicken pizza at California Pizza Kitchen. Bits of brain and kidney at Mohammed Ali Road. French fries with a garlic salt seasoning at WTF. A seekh kebab role from Khaan E Khaas.

* Sensations that I enjoy:  The feel of something heavy and metal in your palm. The beginning of a weekend when you have lots of plans. Finding out there are new episodes of a show you watch regularly. The satin underside of a quilt. Your own hair when it’s ironed. Finishing off all the work you had to do for the day—including replying to late emails—by early afternoon. The feel of the beginning of a holiday on the beach. A love story reaching a satisfactory conclusion. Meeting an old friend after a very long time.