I think I've figured out the way out of my dating/commitmentphobe issues. Part-time lovers.
No, really, it seems perfect. Allow me to present my manifesto.
In today's day and age, no one is really a complete package--you have your baggage, your insecurities, your betrayal problems, your problem with people who chew with their mouths open and so on. Now, if you were to date three individual men, on a need-to-know basis, which means none of them would need to know about the others, you would have (ta-dah) the perfect man.
Or at least, I would. Then I wouldn't need to think about all the things one guy should have to be Mr. Right, they'd all be accessible, with each of my part-time guys (PTGs). Your average PTG should be unattached, but not a slut, with enough issues to make him quirky and interesting, but not so few that he runs the risk of being a full-time guy (FTG). He should be, most importantly, someone who seems capable of a lot of sex, because, really, that's why he's a part-time guy. PTGs are essentially useful when you're so busy or so involved with other things--work, family, friends etc---that you have no time to spend in sustaining a relationship. He should provide excitement, the torrid afternoon shag, say, or the tender kiss on the forehead at a party. He should be reasonably attractive, so that when the whole hiding-from-your-friends thing gets old, you can show him off.
Each PTG should be chosen with care, depending on the others. As in, humous is all very well--but you don't want three funny guys constantly in your face. So you have one, whose charm lies in his ability to make you laugh, another one who isn't that funny, but who cna make your toes curl just by sliding his arm around your waist, and the third fills a sort of provider/pamperer role, if you need to feel like a girl girl every now and then, because he'll be the one who wines and dines you, and picks you up and opens the door for you and all that jazz. (Don't look at me like that! You can be empowered with the other two!)
Now, here's the tricky part. Juggling all three seems like it would be a problem. The less people involved the better. And since you're only interested in you, make sure there isn't anyone else for him. No one. Not even his own part-time lover. The easiest way to do this is by pretending there's no one else for you. Be charming and loving when you meet him--the fact that you have two more guys will only add to your sense of mystery. (I sound like those chicks who wrote The Rules. Kinda fun, actually). If you're the bare-all type, choose two of your most discreet and close friends--preferably ones you have plenty of dope on as well, so you can blackmail--and tell them. That way, you have someone to obsess to and the truth won't come blurting out on a drunken evening.
There's always going to be one PTG you like more than the others, and you can see him as a FTG. Beware of that. A guy may seem completely into you, but unless he shows it with like gestures and stuff, he doesn't really mean it. He's a PTG for a reason, because he lacks one or more essential components that would have qualified him for a FTG.
Go forth and multiply (the one guy into three, I mean. Not babies) And please let me know how you got away with it!