11 September 2004

Quirkyalone and The City

I am a "quirkyalone". I realised this yesterday, flipping through the new Cosmo, which had a huge spread on it. Frankly, I had never heard of the word before. QA sounded kinda well.. kinky!

Sure, I loved Bridget Jones. I nearly peed my pants when I read about her escapades. But that wasn't me, ya know? I wasn't hunting for a guy, I wasn't scared I was going to die alone eaten by an alsation. In fact, I was pretty okay with being alone.

Then I met K and threw all my singleness out of the window. Quirkyalone? Nuh-uh, we were quirkytogether (that's a real word, look it up). And he was so perfect and so sweet and so mine in a way that all my strong words and ideologies weren't. Plus he made me feel complete (even though I now realise I am complete, with or without a man). And it was easier to be with someone, more secure and the more I think about I realise that the fear of being alone was greater than the fear or losing him.

I did a test online at this site and these are my results: Your score was 81. Somewhat quirkyalone (otherwise known as quirkytogether):You are probably part of a mysterious group of people, the quirkytogethers. You share many of our quirky qualities, but you manage to find yourself, on a regular basis, in a coupled situation. Interesting.

Bloody hell. That seems to be me! For as long as I can remember I've had friends who were more like family than friends. "Urban Tribes" they're called these days and yeah, growing up an only child, I depended a lot on my gal pals. (I've never really had that many guy friends. I don't know why.) We did everything together, comparing which one of us had the biggest breats at twelve, the first one to get her period, passing around a cigarette and a glas sof beer which we alternately choked and spluttered on.

And now that we're all grown up, we're still there. Only in different ways. Now it's meeting for coffee every now and then, it's going out drinking just the girls hearts fresh with the possibilities that an evening can bring. It's being there for me in a heartbeat as soon as K and I broke up. Yes, I may not be your conventional qurikyalone, but I'm a sort of mix of the two. I love my solitude. I can spend hours just on my own, not talking to anyone and sometimes if I don't have "me time" during the day I get seriously pissed off. But I also love to be with people.

This is getting to be a very garbled post, so I'll get to the point of all this. I like being single. I like driving myself around. I like not having to depend on someone else. I like making my own money and paying my own bills. And therefore, I had better get ready for a LONG period of being on my own coz not many guys can accept that.

It's okay for me to make my own rules. It's okay for me to say: "That's not okay". It's okay for me to sleep with guys I have no intention of having a "relationship" with.

February 14 is the second annual Quirkyalone Day. Embrace your solitude, girlfriends! (Check out more on this phenomenon on the Quirkyalone website)


One of my quirkyalone theme songs:
Question: Tell me what you think about me
I buy my own diamonds and
I buy my own rings
Only ring your cell-y when I'm feelin lonely
When it's all over please get up and leave
Question: Tell me how you feel about this
Try to control me boy you get dismissed
Pay my own fun, oh and I pay my own bills
Always 50/50 in relationships
The shoes on my feet
I've got it
The clothes I'm wearin
I've got it
The rock I'm rockin
I've got it
'Cause I depend on me
If I wanted
The watch you're wearin
I'll buy it
The house I live in
I've got it
The car I'm drivin
I've bought it
I depend on me (I depend on me)
All the women who are independent
Throw your hands up at me
All the honeys who makin money
Throw your hands up at me
All the mommas who profit dollas
Throw your hands up at me
All the ladies who truly feel me
Throw your hands up at me
Tell me how feel about this
Who would I want if I would wanna live
I worked hard and sacrificed to get what I get
Ladies, it ain't easy bein independent
Question: How'd you like this knowledge that I brought
Braggin on that cash that he gave you is to front
If you're gonna brag make sure it's your money you flaunt
Depend on no one else to give you what you want

10 comments:

  1. i love bridget jones' misadventures too.. :) though i cant say the same about cosmo!

    btw..my score was 96.. cant decide whether i should bury my head in the sand or shout it from the rooftops :))

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi! I am in the same category as you the 'somewhat quirly alones'.Considering I am married just a few months back,I don't know waht the score means!!! ;-))
    You have fun.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ugh Cosmo tests. I'm no super-model-on-the-cover-of-an-expenisive-yet-stupid-magazine but I happen to know a thing or two about dating-life-relationships-and the results of them. The fear that you feel is not being alone or finding that someone, it is fear that you WILL find someone that lets you be alone. We are women, women tend to need to be in control so when you add a wild card (man) you can throw him back or make him play for you.

    Trust me on this, once you find the one, you'll date and have a good time, then he pops the question and soon you're married. Then people that have no authority in your life is giving you advise on a happy marriage. After a year of marriage, you have your first huge blow-out and someone leaves. Just as you are thinking that it is totally your fault, you'll get back with hubby and throw out everyone and their opinions about your relationship. This is usually when you find out that you are pregnant. Its a vicious circle of life, if you can, avoid it for as long as possible.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hima: Most definitely shout it from the rooftops!
    Sunrayz: Ah well, maybe you're a quirkytogether!
    April: Yes, I usually don't read Cosmo either. (My mom calls it soft porn and I agree), but there was something about this article that grabbed me. I was talking to my mother about it and she said she thought I was born a total "QA" but eventually, because of peer pressure, became a somewhat QA.. whatever! :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. woman u rock!!!

    n as for the wait, i ain't suprised that its going to be a long one. n if u happen to find a man who is _MAN_ enough to match the woman u r... do me a favour n check if he has a brother!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thanks for the comment! - I returned the favour and like your blog too. I did the "Quirky alone" quiz and got 100! Oh dear...

    ReplyDelete
  7. "Plus he made me feel complete (even though I now realise I am complete, with or without a man). "

    Well said QA :-)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Just reading some of your archives. So, are you over "K" now?

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for your feedback! It'll be published once I approve it. Inflammatory/abusive comments will not be posted. Please play nice.